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Post by SunnyGirl on Nov 14, 2003 14:45:06 GMT -5
Many of you know, I took 2 weeks off to go back home and help take care of my Step-Dad, who was diagnosed with COPD and is now on the "Hospice" program. I went mainly to be of some support for my Mother, as her husband and I are really not that close. I came home exhausted, but happy I had done all that I could to help. I have remained in daily contact with Mom (80 years old) offering moral support and letting her know I am here for her. With the arrival of his children, many decisions that were being handled by my Mother, have been snatched out of her hands. My Step-Dad no longer trusts anything my Mom attempts to do for him and has decided he would go to the nursing home. THY WILL BE DONE! Both he and my Mom have managed to keep their personal assets separate. I do not understand the motives of these siblings, it appears their one goal is to create heartache and discord. My first instinct is to fly back there, kick-ass and take names, mean people suck! After a quick prayer for guidance and a "cooling down" period, I have figured out this is not a very good plan. No matter what I think, this will all work out according to God's plan. God seems to be giving me the energy and will to do the next right thing. Thank goodness I have a Higher Power to guide me, this program and my recovery friends. Please keep my family and I, in your prayers.Hugs, ~SG~
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Post by Caressa2 on Nov 14, 2003 21:03:30 GMT -5
Dear Sunny,
Family can be so difficult. I just had my son arrive on my doorstep on Wednesday night at 6 p.m. He was going to go grocery shopping after work, and it is now 8:56 p.m. by my computer and work is long over and dinner is getting kind of soggy, but that is his problem.
He probably went out with the boys to drown his sorrows after the break up of his relationship, yet he knows he is not suppose to come back here when he has been drinking.
I tried getting on the boards early and couldn't under my other name, then tried to join under the name of my new web site for codependency and unhealthy realtionships with ourselves and others, but for some reason I am not doing it right.
I think a post acutally went on, but couldn't get back on!!!
Love Always,
Caressa2
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Post by lildee on Nov 15, 2003 10:28:04 GMT -5
Dearest SunnyGirl, Dealing with family members during the illness of a parent is extremely stressful. When Rick's mother was dying from cancer there were decisions made by others which outraged me, especially since nursing is my profession. Many of these decisions were based on the convienence of the other person and what they would gain from them, not on the comfort of Rick's mother. The same held true for when it came time to make the funeral arrangements and settle the estate. Well as a result, there were great resentments that built up and amends to be made. Having gone through this so many times already, the best ESH I can offer is Let it Go and do a lot of praying. Enjoy your time with your mother and Step-dad. Keep the focus on you and your needs. God be with you. You are in my prayers. Love Arlene
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Post by dg on Nov 15, 2003 10:56:24 GMT -5
(((SG))) My prayers are with you and your mom. I agree with the fact that dealing with a dying member in the family is hard on the other person that is involved with the situation all the way around. What ever the motive is for your step dad and his children is only clear in the eyes of HP. IF HP feels its not a right thing, it will be taken care of to a point that only we can see it down the road. I hope that makes sense.. I personally know how hard it is for me to take care of my own mom, like your step dad is also suffering from COPD(last stages) and I am doing this all alone with the help of hospice of course, but its still not the same... Keep the faith,
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Post by SunnyGirl on Nov 15, 2003 12:23:26 GMT -5
Thank you all for the good thoughts and prayers.... Today, I am staying out of God's way and am going to allow him to handle this. Hugs, ~SG~
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Post by SaraLee on Nov 15, 2003 20:14:46 GMT -5
((((Sunnygirl)))))) I will keep you and your family in my prayers as well. Copying with an ill loved one is hard, not to mention siblings trying to take an upper hand in matters they should not. Your attitude is wonderful....to put it in God's hands will certainly help keep your own peace of mind. SaraLee
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Post by DonnaE on Nov 15, 2003 20:16:43 GMT -5
Dearest Sunny, You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. Remember to take care of yourself. Love you in a special way DonnaE
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Post by usdupn02 on Nov 15, 2003 20:42:33 GMT -5
Sunny, you and yours are in my prayers. Dealing with ill loved ones is never fun and even more stressful when there are conflicting ideas of what is best. Letting go and letting God seems like a good plan.
(((sunny)))
Janet
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Post by SunnyGirl on Nov 17, 2003 13:27:09 GMT -5
Again, many thanks for all the words of encouragement, prayers and words of hope. Mom is learning to "Let Go With Love" and beginning to feel a little more positive. Step-Dad is feeling very bitter, but I keep him in my prayers and Pray that God will help him to deal with the final outcome of all of this.
Hugs, ~SG~
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Post by Lin on Nov 18, 2003 16:29:46 GMT -5
My neice was 8 months pregnant and lost her baby this weekend. The only words of encouragement I could think of were "If GOD LEADS YOU TO IT< HE WILL LEAD YOU THROUGH IT>"
SO i send those same words out to you and your family.
Since his kids are stepping in and making decisions now it's probably a very good thing they have kept their assets separate.
remembering you in prayer.
{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}} LIN
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Post by dordep on Nov 18, 2003 16:36:14 GMT -5
Dear (((SG)))
Know that you are in dick's and my prayers from Massachusetts. Part of my family was a step family too, and the anguish and favoritism was horrendous at times, so I have walked in your shoes.
You have a program of recovery that they don't, so just remember to keep a positive attitude and the focus where it belongs, on your Mom , Stepdad, and you. That is enough for anyone to handle.
love ya loads,
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