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Post by SunnyGirl on Nov 21, 2003 12:53:35 GMT -5
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Post by SunnyGirl on Nov 22, 2003 13:58:35 GMT -5
 Top Ten Signs You've Eaten Too Much- Hundreds of volunteers have started to stack
sandbags around you.
- Doctor tells you your weight would be perfect
for a man 17 feet tall.
- You are responsible for a slight but measurable
shift in the earth's axis.
- Right this minute you're laughing up pie on the
carpet.
- You decide to take a little nap and wake up in
mid-July.
- World's fattest man sends you a telegram,
warning you to "back off!"
- CBS tells you to lose weight or else.
- 3. Getting off your couch requires help from the
fire department.
- Every escalator you step on immediately grinds
to a halt.
- You're sweatin' gravy.
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Post by SunnyGirl on Nov 22, 2003 14:01:01 GMT -5
 "A turkey's dream come true" |
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Post by SunnyGirl on Nov 22, 2003 14:06:48 GMT -5
A little boy was asked, to write a composition entitled.......
"What I'm thankful for on Thanksgiving"
Little Timothy wrote......
"I am thankful that I'm not a turkey."
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Post by SunnyGirl on Nov 22, 2003 14:39:07 GMT -5
 The pro football team had just finished their
daily practice session when a large turkey came
strutting onto the field.
While the players gazed in amazement, the turkey
walked up to the head coach and demanded a tryout.
Everyone stared in silence as the turkey caught pass
after pass and ran right through the defensive line.
When the turkey returned to the sidelines, the coach
shouted, "You're terrific!!! Sign up for the season,
and I'll see to it that you get a huge bonus."
"Forget the bonus," the turkey said....
"All I want to know is, does the season
go past Thanksgiving Day?" [/b] [/center] |
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Post by SunnyGirl on Nov 23, 2003 14:26:18 GMT -5
 A Pilgrim woman told her husband it would
be nice to invite the Indians over for dinner
to thank them for all their help since the
arrival at Plymouth Rock. She asked him to
go hunting and catch a nice big pheasant so
they could have a celebration.
The husband, having just gotten off the boat,
wasn't much of a hunter, but he did his best
and set a snare along a small path in the woods.
A short while later, a pheasant came down the
path and noticed the circle of strings.
"Gee," it said, "That looks like a trap. Someone
could get hurt in one of those." And the pheasant
gingerly stepped around the trap.
Soon, another pheasant came down the path
and saw the snare. "Gosh!" it said. "A bird could
get caught in one of those. These things shouldn't
be left lying around!" The pheasant carefully
stepped around the trap and went on its way.
Then, a turkey came down the path. Upon seeing
the snare, it said, "Wow!
A trap! I wonder if it works ..." |
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Post by SunnyGirl on Nov 23, 2003 14:28:39 GMT -5
This guy goes to his doctor. "Doctor, help me!
I can't stop acting like a turkey!"
"I see," said the doctor. "How long have you had
this problem?"
"Let me think a second. Mom laid the egg in 1954..."
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Post by SunnyGirl on Nov 23, 2003 14:32:35 GMT -5
 THANKSGIVING
The turkey shot out of the oven
and rocketed into the air
it knocked every plate off the table
and partly demolished a chair
it ricocheted into a corner
and burst with a deafening boom
then splattered all over the kitchen
completely obscuring the room
it stuck to the walls and the windows
it totally coated the floor
there was turkey attached to the ceiling
where there'd never been turkey before
it blanketed every appliance
it smeared every saucer and bowl
there wasn't a way I could stop it
that turkey was out of control
I scraped and I scrubbed with displeasure
and thought with chagrin as I mopped
that I'd never again stuff a turkey
with popcorn that hadn't been popped.
by Jack Prelutsky |
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Post by SunnyGirl on Nov 24, 2003 12:24:02 GMT -5
Six-Legged Turkey
An industrious turkey farmer was always experimenting
with breeding to perfect a better turkey. His family was
fond of the leg portion for dinner and there were never
enough legs for everyone.
After many frustrating attempts, the farmer was relating
the results of his efforts to his friends at the general
store get together. "Well I finally did it! I bred a turkey
that has 6 legs!"
They all asked the farmer how it tasted.
"I Don't know" said the farmer.
"I never could catch the darn thing!"
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Post by SunnyGirl on Nov 24, 2003 12:30:10 GMT -5
Thanksgiving day was approaching and
the family had received a Thanksgiving card with
a painting of a pilgrim family on their way to church.
Grandma showed the card to the grandchildren, observing:
"The Pilgrim children liked to go to church with their
mothers and fathers."
"Oh yeah?" her young grandson replied, "so why
is their dad carrying that rifle?"
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Post by SunnyGirl on Nov 25, 2003 9:50:55 GMT -5
How do you make a turkey float?
You need 2 scoops of ice cream, some root beer,
and a turkey.
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Post by SunnyGirl on Nov 25, 2003 9:58:54 GMT -5
Turkey Penance
Ducking into confession with a turkey in his arms,
Brian said, "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.
I stole this turkey to feed my family. Would you
take it and settle my guilt?"
"Certainly not," said the Priest. "As penance, you
must return it to the one from whom you stole it."
"I tried," Brian sobbed, "but he refused.
Oh, Father, what should I do?"
"If what you say is true, then it is all right for you
to keep it for your family."
Thanking the Priest, Brian hurried off.
When confession was over, the Priest returned to
his residence. When he walked into the kitchen,
he found that someone had stolen his turkey. |
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Post by Caressa2 on Nov 26, 2003 13:02:04 GMT -5
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Post by SunnyGirl on Nov 28, 2003 11:03:23 GMT -5
( ( ( ( Caressa ) ) ) )
Thank you for that link, it was amazing!
It's wonderful having you here at EOR, sharing your
experience, strength and hope...... Hugs, ~SG~
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. I will be back looking for Lin and others.
Jun 20, 2021 7:32:46 GMT -5
. I will be back looking for Lin and others.
Jun 20, 2021 7:32:46 GMT -5