Grandma and Grandpa's Mishaps

[SunnyGirl]

(sung to the tune of "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer" )


"Grandpa Got Run Over By A Beer Truck"

Grandpa got run over by a beer truck
Coming out of Woody's Christmas Day
Grandma got a job out at the brewery
I never knew that she could drive that way!

Grandpa was out drinking with the floozies
Spending all of Grandma's hard earned dough
He didn't have enough to pay the bar tab
So Woody tossed him out the door into the snow

Grandpa stood there frozen in the headlights
He looked just as helpless as a deer
I don't think he was afraid of dying
I think he was just afraid he'd spill his beer

Grandpa got run over by a beer truck
Coming out of Woody's Christmas Day
Grandma got a job out at the brewery
I never knew that she could drive that way!

Who'd have thought he'd end up as a road kill
She flattened him right on the center line
He could have made it to the curb if he were quicker
But she backed it up and squashed him one more time

Grandma cried and cried at Grandpa's funeral
Not because we peeled him off the road
All the loot she got from his insurance
Went to pay the bar tab that he owed

Grandpa got run over by a beer truck
Coming out of Woody's Christmas Day
Grandma got a job out at the brewery
I never knew that she could drive that way!

-unknown

[SunnyGirl]

Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer

Grandma got run over by a reindeer
Walking home from our house Christmas eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.

She'd been drinkin' too much egg nog,
And we'd begged her not to go.
But she'd left her medication,
So she stumbled out the door into the snow.

When they found her Christmas mornin',
At the scene of the attack.
There were hoof prints on her forehead,
And incriminatin' Claus marks on her back.

Grandma got run over by a reindeer,
Walkin' home from our house Christmas eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.

Now were all so proud of Grandpa,
He's been takin' this so well.
See him in there watchin' football,
Drinkin' beer and playin' cards with cousin Belle.

It's not Christmas without Grandma.
All the family's dressed in black.
And we just can't help but wonder:
Should we open up her gifts or send them back?

Grandma got run over by a reindeer,
Walkin' home from our house Christmas eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.

Now the goose is on the table
And the pudding made of fig.
And a blue and silver candle,
That would just have matched the hair in Grandma's wig.

I've warned all my friends and neighbours.
Better watch out for yourselves."
They should never give a license,
To a man who drives a sleigh and plays with elves.

Grandma got run over by a reindeer,
Walkin' home from our house, Christmas eve.
You can say there's no such thing as Santa,
But as for me and Grandpa, we believe.


Written by Randy Brooks.