Post by SunnyGirl on Jan 20, 2004 15:02:22 GMT -5
The Legless Parrot
A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot
sitting on a little Perch.
It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud,
"Jeesh, I wonder what happened to this Parrot?"
The parrot says, "I was born this way. I'm a defective
parrot." "
Holy cow," the guy replies. "You actually understood
and answered me!"
"I got every word," says the parrot. "I happen to be
a highly intelligent, thoroughly educated bird."
"Oh yeah?" the guy asks, "Then answer this--- how
do you hang onto your perch without any feet?"
"Well," the parrot says, "this is very embarrassing
but since you asked, I wrap my weenie around this
wooden bar like a little hook. You can't see it
because of my feathers."
"Wow," says the guy. "You really can understand
and speak English can't you?"
"Actually, I speak both Spanish and English, and I can
converse with reasonable competence on almost any
topic: politics, religion, sports, physics, philosophy.
I'm especially good at ornithology. You really ought to
buy me. I'd be a great companion."
The guy looks at the $200 price tag. "Sorry, but I
just can't afford that."
"Pssssssst," says the parrot, "I'm defective, so the
truth is, nobody wants me cause I don't have any
feet. You can probably get me for $20, just make the
guy an offer!"
The guy offers $20 and walks out with the parrot.
Weeks go by. The parrot is sensational. He has a
great sense of humor, he's interesting, he's a great
pal, he understands everything, he sympathizes,
and he's insightful. The guy is delighted.
One day the guy comes home from work and the
parrot goes, "psssssssssssst," and motions him over
with one wing. "I don't know if should tell you this
or not, but it's about your wife and the postman."
"What are you talking about?" asks the guy.
"When the postman delivered the mail today, your
wife greeted him at the door in a sheer black nightie
and kissed him passionately."
"WHAT"
the guy asks incredulously. "THEN whathappened?"
"Well, then the postman came into the house and
lifted up her nightie and began petting her all over,"
reported the parrot.
"Oh No!," he exclaims. "Then what?"
"Then he lifted up the nightie, got down on his knees
and began to kiss her all over, starting with her
breasts and slowly going down..."
"WELL," demands the frantic guy, "THEN WHAT HAPPENED?"
" d**ned if I know. I got a hard-on and fell off my
perch !
my apologies if I did.
. I will be back looking for Lin and others.