INEFFECTIVE DAILY AFFIRMATIONS

[SunnyGirl]

INEFFECTIVE DAILY AFFIRMATIONS:

• As I let go of my shoulds and feelings of guilt,
  I can get in touch with my Inner Sociopath.
  
  
• I have the power to channel my imagination into
  ever-soaring levels of suspicion and paranoia.
  
  
• I assume full responsibility for my actions, except
  the ones that are someone else's fault.
  
  
• I no longer need to punish, deceive or compromise
  myself. Unless, of course, I want to stay employed.
  
  
• In some cultures what I do would be considered
  normal.
  
  
• Having control over myself is nearly as good as
  having control over others.
  
  
• My intuition nearly makes up for my lack of good
  judgment.
  
  
• I can change any thought that hurts into a reality
  that hurts even more.
  
  
• I honor my personality flaws, for without them I
  would have no personality at all. Joan of Arc heard
  voices too.
  
  
• I am grateful that I am not as judgmental as all
  those censorious, self-righteous people around me.
  
  
• I need not suffer in silence while I can still moan,
  whimper and complain.
  
  
• As I learn the innermost secrets of the people
  around me, they reward me in many ways to keep
  me quiet.
  
  
• When someone hurts me, forgiveness is cheaper
  than a lawsuit. But not nearly as gratifying.
  
  
• The first step is to say nice things about myself.
  The second, to do nice things for myself. The third,
  to find someone to buy me nice things.
  
  
• As I learn to trust the universe, I no longer need
  to carry a gun.
  
  
• All of me is beautiful and valuable, even the ugly,
  stupid, and disgusting parts.
  
  
• I am at one with my duality.
  
  
• Blessed are the flexible, for they can tie themselves
  into knots.
  
  
• I will strive to live each day as if it were my 50th
  birthday.
  
  
• Only a lack of imagination saves me from immobilizing
  myself with imaginary fears.
  
  
• Does my quiet self-pity get to me? Yes? Or should I
  move up to incessant nagging?
  
  
• Today I will gladly share my experience and advice,
  for there are no sweeter words than "I told you so."
  
  
• False hope is nicer than no hope at all.
  
  
• A good scapegoat is nearly as welcome as a
  solution to the problem.
  
  
• Just for today, I will not sit in my living room all day
  watching TV. Instead I will move my TV into the bedroom.
  
  
• Who can I blame for my own problems? Give me
  just a minute...I'll find someone.
  
  
• Why should I waste my time reliving the past
  when I can spend it worrying about the future?
  
  
• The complete lack of evidence is the surest sign
  that the conspiracy is working.
  
  
• I am learning that criticism is not nearly as effective
  as sabotage.
  
  
• Becoming aware of my character defects leads me to
  the next step -- blaming my parents.
  
  
• To understand all is to fear all.
  
  
• I will find humor in my everyday life by looking for
  people I can laugh at.
  
  
• The next time the universe knocks on my door,
  I will pretend I am not home.
  
  
• My body is a temple. Do you want to come over for
  midnight mass?
  
  
• To have a successful relationship I must learn to
  make it look like I'm giving as much as I'm getting.
  
  
• I am willing to make the mistakes if someone else is
  willing to learn from them.

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