BUMPER STICKERS

[ChrisK]

Post subject: Funny Bumper Stickers

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Could you drive any better if I shoved that cell phone up your arse?

If you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you!

Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you're an a-hole

100,000 sperm and YOU were the fastest?

Your gene pool needs a little chlorine.

You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me and not you!

You are depriving some poor village of its IDIOT

Save Your Breath ... You'll need it to blow up your date!

Forget world peace. Visualize using your turn signal.

My Hockey Mom Can Beat Up Your Soccer Mom

Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.

BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore.

So you're a feminist...Isn't that cute.

I need someone really bad...Are you really bad?

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.

Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.

Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips.

I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

Where there's a will...I want to be on it.

It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.

Don't drink and drive...You might hit a bump and spill your drink.

Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.

Be nice to your kids...They will pick out your nursing home

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I miss my ex ..........But my aim is improving!!
My wife ran off with my best friend,boy do I miss him!
I'm not as think as you drunk I am
God is coming, and boy, is She pi%#ed
I once killed a six-pack just watch it die.
When the rapture comes can I have your car?
"The closest I ever got to 4.0 in college was my blood alchohol content
Anyone can give up smoking, but it takes a real man to face cancer.
A boss is like a diaper. Always on your a$$ and constantly full of
(bleep).
This place is nucking futs
Previous owner had an honor student!
Your child may be an honor student But you're a moron.
Don't Be Sexist Broads Hate It
Lottery: A Tax for People That Can't Do Math.
Free Martha Nail Halliburton
Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
I may be fat but you're ugly, and I can lose weight.
You're the reason God created the middle finger.
VOTE DEMOCRAT WHO EVER HEARD OF A GOOD PC. OF ELEPHANT

[ChrisK]

Subject: Older Women
>
>
> This is good!!
> Subject: A great must read
>
>
> This is for all you girls 30 years and over.... and for those who
are
> turning 30, and for those who are scared of moving into their
30's!!!!
> This was written by Andy Rooney from CBS 60 Minutes.
>
> Andy Rooney says:
>
> As I grow in age, I value women who are over 30 most of all. Here
are
> just a few reasons why:
>
> A woman over 30 will never wake you in the middle of the night to
> ask," What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think.
>
> If a woman over 30 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit
> around whining about it. She does something she wants to do. And,
it's
> usually something more interesting.
>
> A woman over 30 knows herself well enough to be assured in who she
is,
> what she is, what she wants and from whom. Few women past the age
> of 30 give a d**n what you might think about her or what she's
doing.
>
> Women over 30 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match
with
> you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of
> course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you, if
they
> think they can get away with it.
>
> Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know
what
> it's like to be unappreciated.
>
> A woman over 30 has the self-assurance to introduce you to her
women
> friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best
> friend because she doesn't trust the guy with other women. Women
over 30
> couldn't care less if you're attracted to her friends because she
knows
> her friends won't betray her.
>
> Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins
to
> a woman over 30. They always know.
>
> A woman over 30 looks good wearing bright red lipstick. This is not
> true of younger women or drag queens.
>
> Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 30 is far sexier
than
> her younger counterpart.
>
> Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off
if
> you are a jerk if you are acting like one! You don't ever have to
wonder
> where you stand with her.
>
> Yes, we praise women over 30 for a multitude of reasons.
>
> Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart,
> well-coiffed, hot woman of 30+, there is a bald, paunchy relic in
yellow
> pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year-old waitress.
Ladies, I
> apologize.
>
> For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the
milk
> for free." Here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are
against
> marriage, why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an
entire
>pig,
> just to get a little sausage.
>
> Thank you, Andy Rooney!!!

[Lin]

Thanks for the bumper stickers Chris. My favorite aws the gene pol and the chlorine.

My 3rd graders are designing bumper stickes for a unit on elections. I told them they could endorse a certain local or national candidate, encourage people to just VOTE, or post a certain issue they woudl like the politicians to keep in mind. I kid you not. One of my students made one with vote for Abraham Lincoln. The sad part..i know she had help because every word was spelled correctly.

That was only after one day of the unit. So HOPEFULLY by the time I finish,. she will know who is running.\

Lin

[ChrisK]

Lin,

let me know how that turns out. I've been looking for the Weekly Reader results. I can't remember for sure but, I think their poll is almost always right

[majestyjo]

More smiles and gaffaws. 😄