... Being Blonde

[caressa]

Two blondes were filling up at a gas station

and the first blonde says to the second,

"I bet these awful gas prices are going

to go even higher."


The second blonde replies,

"Won't affect me,

I always put in just $10 worth."


####################


JACK'S TELEPHONE NUMBER...

Blonde Caller:

"Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?"

Operator:

"I'm sorry, I don't understand who you are talking about".

Blond Caller:

"On page 1 section 5, of the user guide it clearly states

that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket

and telephone Jack before cleaning.

Now, can you give me the number for Jack?"

[caressa]

WHICH IS FARTHER


Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking
and one blonde says to the other:
"Which do you think is farther away,
Florida or the moon?
The other blonde turns and says
"Helloooooooooo,
can you see Florida??

CAR TROUBLE


A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station.
She tells the mechanic it died.
After he works on it for a few minutes,
it is idling smoothly.

She says,
"What's the story?"

He replies,
"Just crap in the carburetor"

She asks,
"How often do I have to do that?"

SPEEDING TICKET


A police officer stops a blonde for speeding
and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.

She replied in a huff,
"I wish you guys would get your act together.
Just yesterday you take away my license
and then today you expect me to show it to you!"

RIVER WALK


There's this blonde out for a walk.
She comes to a river
and sees another blonde on the opposite bank.

"Yoo-hoo!"
she shouts,
"How can I get to the other side?"

The second blonde looks up the river
then down the river and shouts back,
"You ARE on the other side."

KNITTING


A highway patrolman pulled alongside
a speeding car on the freeway.
Glancing at the car,
he was astounded to see that the blonde
behind the wheel was knitting!
Realizing that she was oblivious
to his flashing lights and siren,
the trooper cranked down his window,
turned on his bullhorn and yelled
"PULL OVER!"

"NO!"
the blonde yelled back,
"IT'S A SCARF!"

BLONDE ON THE SUN


A Russian, an American, and a Blonde
were talking one day.

The Russian said,
"We were the first in space!"

The American said,
"We were the first on the moon!"

The Blonde said,
"So what?
We're going to be the first on the sun!"

The Russian and the American
looked at each other and shook their heads.
"You can't land on the sun,
you idiot! You'll burn up!"
said the Russian.

To which the Blonde
replied,
"We're not stupid, you know.
We're going at night!"

IN A VACUUM


A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night.
It was her turn.
She rolled the dice and she landed on
Science & Nature.
Her question was,
"If you are in a vacuum
and someone calls your name,
can you hear it?"

She thought for a time and then asked,
"Is it on or off?"

[Lin]

I'm glad blonde jokes doint offend me. LOL These were cute.

LIN

[caressa222]

My son suggested I go blonde.