Post by caressa on Mar 24, 2006 17:37:23 GMT -5
A Distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's
office.
"Is it true," she wanted to know,
"that the medication you prescribed has
to be taken for the rest of my life?"
"Yes, I'm afraid so," the doctor told her.
There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied,
"I'm wondering, then, just how serious is my
condition
because this prescription is marked 'NO REFILLS'."
-----------------------------------------
An older Jewish gentleman was on the operating table
awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son,
a renowned surgeon, perform the operation.
As he was about to get the anaesthesia
he asked to speak to his son.
"Yes, Dad, what is it?" "Don't be nervous, son;
do your best and just remember, if it doesn't go well,
if something happens to me ..
your mother is going to come
and live with you and your wife...."
-----------------------------------------
The older we get, the fewer things seem
worth waiting in line for.
------------------------------------------
When you are dissatisfied and
would
like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.
---------------------------------------------
You know you are getting old when everything
either dries up or leaks.
----------------------------------------------
I don't know how I got over the hill
without getting to the top.
----------------------------------------------
One of the many things no one tells you about aging
is that it is such a nice change from being young.
----------------------------------------------
Ah, being young is beautiful,
but being old is comfortable.
-----------------------------------------------
Old age is when former classmates are so gray
and wrinkled and bald, they don't recognize
you.
----------------------------------------------
First you forget names, then you forget faces.
Then you forget to pull up your zipper.
It's worse when you forget to pull it down.
-------------------------------------------
Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground
with sticks, it was called witchcraft..
Today, it's called golf
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A WELL PLANNED LIFE?
Two women met for the first time since graduating from high school.
One asked the other, "You were always so organized in school,
Did you manage to live a well planned life? "
" Yes," said her friend.
"My first marriage was to a millionaire;
my second marriage was to an actor;
my third marriage was to a
preacher;
and now I'm married to an undertaker."
Her friend asked,
"What do those marriages have to do with a well planned life?"
"One for the money,
two for the show,
three to get ready,
and four to go."
****************************************************
Getting old is soooo hard at times.
Yesterday I got Preparation 'H' mixed up with Poli-Grip.
Now, I walk funny, but - my gums don't itch!
office.
"Is it true," she wanted to know,
"that the medication you prescribed has
to be taken for the rest of my life?"
"Yes, I'm afraid so," the doctor told her.
There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied,
"I'm wondering, then, just how serious is my
condition
because this prescription is marked 'NO REFILLS'."
-----------------------------------------
An older Jewish gentleman was on the operating table
awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son,
a renowned surgeon, perform the operation.
As he was about to get the anaesthesia
he asked to speak to his son.
"Yes, Dad, what is it?" "Don't be nervous, son;
do your best and just remember, if it doesn't go well,
if something happens to me ..
your mother is going to come
and live with you and your wife...."
-----------------------------------------
The older we get, the fewer things seem
worth waiting in line for.
------------------------------------------
When you are dissatisfied and
would
like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.
---------------------------------------------
You know you are getting old when everything
either dries up or leaks.
----------------------------------------------
I don't know how I got over the hill
without getting to the top.
----------------------------------------------
One of the many things no one tells you about aging
is that it is such a nice change from being young.
----------------------------------------------
Ah, being young is beautiful,
but being old is comfortable.
-----------------------------------------------
Old age is when former classmates are so gray
and wrinkled and bald, they don't recognize
you.
----------------------------------------------
First you forget names, then you forget faces.
Then you forget to pull up your zipper.
It's worse when you forget to pull it down.
-------------------------------------------
Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground
with sticks, it was called witchcraft..
Today, it's called golf
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A WELL PLANNED LIFE?
Two women met for the first time since graduating from high school.
One asked the other, "You were always so organized in school,
Did you manage to live a well planned life? "
" Yes," said her friend.
"My first marriage was to a millionaire;
my second marriage was to an actor;
my third marriage was to a
preacher;
and now I'm married to an undertaker."
Her friend asked,
"What do those marriages have to do with a well planned life?"
"One for the money,
two for the show,
three to get ready,
and four to go."
****************************************************
Getting old is soooo hard at times.
Yesterday I got Preparation 'H' mixed up with Poli-Grip.
Now, I walk funny, but - my gums don't itch!
. I will be back looking for Lin and others.