Cigarette Addiction

[SaraLee]

Hi Friends,
For many years I've used the 12 step program to learn about alcoholism and to learn how to live a peaceful and productive life living with a dual addicted person. I've practiced and used the 12 steps to get me through troubled times, and I feel that I have made major changes in myself and my life.

Now it is time for me to face my smoking addiction, yet I am very fearful that if I make a decision to quit smoking that I will fail. It makes no sense to me that I have depended and used the program for the purpose of living with alcoholism and gambling addiction in my life, but now that I'm on the 'other side of the fence', I am scared to h*** that I will fail. I actually feel lost! I feel like I'm going into unknown territory!

Do alcoholics or other addicted people go into the program with a firm conviction that they can quit or do they have reservations like I do? I know that it is time to quit. My health is losing ground, and I have had warnings from my doctor of potential cancer cells forming over the area where my removed tonsils were located. That is scary too! I want to quit but do not have that conviction that I will be able to succeed. Can anyone relate to this? Does anyone know how I feel? And is there anyone else out there that wants to quit smoking too?
Thanks,
SaraLee

[Caressa2]

Dear SaraLee,

Welcome to my world. Fear kept me smoking a lot longer than I should have for health reasons. I always associated gained weight with death because my mother died so young. Fear couldn't give me the willingness I need to quit smoking.

I quit for six day, and after talking to two people who had gained 20 lbs and hadn't been able to lose it, I opened a pack of cigarettes and even though they tasted terrible, I made myself smoke them.

When I did quit, I lost three pounds. I have to have a spiritual reason, and for me that was that I wanted to be a clean channel and carry a clean message, which helped me to make my decision, one day at a time, that just for today, I choose not to have a cigarette.

I used my program, the 12 Steps, developed a support system, went to NA and collected key tags, what ever it took, not to pick up that cigarette, just for today.

I have not had a cigarette for five years and I still get major cravings, and I found the most important thing for me was to acknowledge the craving, and once I did that, the craving past. It is like the five As of change, I was aware of the craving, admitted the craving, accepted the craving for what it was, I voiced my decision to not have a cigarette which was the action I needed to take (sometimes it was to bang on a table and say, da*n it, I want a cigarette, but just for today I choose not to have one), which brought about a change of attitude and as they say in the Big Book on Spirituality Experience on page 569, a personality change sufficient to bring about recovery.

It is difficult, especially when those around you are smoking. I stayed away from my family when I quit (Dec. 21st, 1998) not because they smoked, but because I didn't know if I could handle my emotions without a cigarette. I would often go out into the garage to have a cigarette to escape the games and the dysfunction of the occasion.

Whenever I had a craving, and whenever I needed grounded, whenever I need to do something with my hands, I held a small crystal in my hand. I love crystals, and there are types for all our emotional needs. I believe they are all a part of Creation and a part of Universal healing energies created by the Creator.

Prayer, prayer, prayer, and more prayer, in all forms from the Serenity Prayer to the very simple prayer of "Help!!!!"

[SaraLee]

Thank you Caressa,
I appreciate your experience of what worked for you. There was a lot of good stuff in your post. I have been thinking about this all day and my fear has lessened. Now all I need to do is take the first step.
SaraLee

[SunnyGirl]

( ( ( ( SaraLee ) ) ) )

"Can anyone relate to this?
Does anyone know how I feel?
And is there anyone else out there that
wants to quit smoking too?"

YES.... YES...... and YES

This thread has really touched a nerve with me!
I knew when we opened this forum, that the topic
of cigarette dependence would come up. And I am
squiming in my seat..... I feel your fear and I too
experience this feeling of fear when I think about
quitting smoking. Do I want to quit smoking? In
a word, Yes, but am I ready to do it now? I am
just not sure. Is it fear of failure? That is a very real
possiblity, as I have tried and failed before.

But, when I look at others that have given up their
drug of choice, I often wonder how or when they got
to the point of knowing "the time to quit is NOW"....
I am so unsure of my feelings today....... I have buried
two step fathers, both died of COPD and they suffered
a horrible death. I don't want to end up like this.....
My bio-Dad died of heart problems and I have been
advised to stop smoking as smoking contributed to
his early death.

My head is filled with wild thoughts right now.....
Can I quit smoking ODAT? Just for today can I throw
them away? WOW, right this minute I have a lit
cigarette in the ashtray near me..... I don't know!
I just don't know.......

SaraLee, if you decide to take the first step, I will
keep you in my prayers. Please keep posting and
let me know how it is going with you. I pray I can
get to the point of making this journey with you....
I just dont know..... Hugs, Sg

[Caressa2]

I will pray for you both that you find the willingness to quit. There was a stage in my own past, that I had to pray for the willingness to have to willingness.

I also remember telling my aunt and my sponsor, "If you are going to pray for me do it quietly!" When I hear you expressing your desires for me to quit, that addictive voice inside of me hears you, and only becomes more adamant about not quitting and goes into rebellion.

[SaraLee]

Thanks for the prayer....I'm also praying for the willingness to have the willingness to quit. SG, I am also squirming! And maybe, that's a good thing.

I'm still smoking only for the relief of withdrawal pain because my husband, who also smokes and I no longer smoke in the house which makes it a pain in the behind a lot of the times to light up and I don't smoke when I'm with certain friends and relatives, so I've put a lot of restirictions on myself which has decreased the pleasure of lighting up, but frankly it has not curbed my smoking.

I know their are people out there who make a whole hearted decision and will say, I quit forever and that's that, I'm done and they never smoke again. I'm not one of those people. I haven't hit some bottom, I don't love myself enough (yet) or hate myself enough to want to quit for a lifetime.

I was visiting my neighbor today, who also smokes, and we talked about the one day at a time idea concerning quitting smoking, and I can not believe that after all these years in Al Anon and ACOA that I had not captured the true beauty of that slogan. Maybe now that I'm trying to apply it to quitting an addiction, it finally makes complete sense to me! I always had a hard time putting ODAT to work because I would think "Yah right, one day at a time x every day = forever, so the one day at a time really meant: for the rest of my life and that seemed impossible to deal with.

So I figured it out... I only need to quit "today", a 24 hour period of time, not a lifetime. Quit for ONE DAY and when the next one arrives, I need to quit for ONE DAY. Phew! I'm willing to look at this with an open heart. Can I quit smoking for ONE day?
SaraLee

[Caressa2]

Dear Friends,

Some additional thoughts which helped me. It was important to break the habits, the old routines before I put down the cigarettes. So much of smoking is habit!

I stopped taking my cigarettes with me when I talked on the phone, I stopped standing in the middle of the floor doing the "cigarette jig" trying to light a cigarette on my way to the bathroom without having an accident.

I stopped having the after dinner cigarette, I got up and cleared the table and made busy with my hands.

I stopped having one when I first got up in the morning, by putting on the coffee and going immediately into the shower. It got so I couldn't drink the coffee because it only made my cravings worse, the two went together.

I have heard others too who didn't smoke in their house, in their car, on the job, etc. Like everything else, it is the willingness to do what ever it takes, but habit and having something to hold in our hands is important.

I had a fear of putting on weight so I seldom used candies. I tried nicorette gum but it only made the cigarettes taste worse then I realized I was over dosing myself on nicotine. It had to be either or!

It took me until I had seven years of recovery to obtain the willingness, and I started thinking about it at four.

I used the Serenity Prayer, and it is a good thing that you can't wear it out, because to my knowledge others are still using it and I didn't use it all up!

[dg]

When I first quit cigerettes that was in 1981. , and I haven't lit up one since.
What got me to quit? I was ready. completely, I had to because I had brochitis (sp) so bad the doc told me to quit or else.
Did I have withdrawls. Sure, not only I quit cigerettes, I quit the drugs too at the same time. So I know I wasn't miss goodie lady. LOL.( Mind you, I relaspe on drugs, not the cigerettes.!! )
When I wanted a cigerette at the time, I would think to myself, Do I really want to have one? Is it really necessary to have one? I would put it down, cuz my answer was maybe later.. well when later came, I asked myself that same question. I also use other things to subitute cigerettes, like drink a good herbal tea, gum, and stay busy at places that don't allow cigerettes.
It wasn't easy at first,also what kept me thinking of not wanting to lite up again, was I put in my mind that I was doing it for someone dear to me, my kids. Wanting to be around for them when they grew up (they were small at the time).
I believe, the main key is you have to WANT to quit, to make it work. IMHO.
Good luck Sara Lee, have faith in yourself to do this. And that goes for anyone else that wants to quit too.
P.S. I too lost a father to lung cancer in January. And my mom has COPD and its hard to watch someone dear to you suffer that used to smoke.

[SunnyGirl]

Mornin SaraLee,

I keep being drawn back to this thread.....
Keep re-reading the quote below!

"I'm also praying for the willingness to have the
willingness to quit."

I think this is where I am today...... I am drawn to
other sites that give information on how they got to
this point. Tips for keeping the mind and body away
from the nicotine.

I am truly addicted to nicotine, for me the physical
addiction is not nearly as strong as the mental one.
I smoke in each and every room in my house...... I
have ashtrays scattered throughout..... I smoke in
my car and when trapped in a situation where there
is no smoking, I will sneak into the bathroom and take
a quick puff to hold me over, till I can get out of there.

I am formulating a plan..... (praying God does not
laugh at this one) I am going to start eliminating
triggers for lighting up...... No smoking in my bedroom,
working my way up to no smoking in the house or car.
I am putting my cigs outside on the patio table, to
prevent lighting up without thinking..... (especially
while on the computer and telephone) If I can keep
myself busy, I have less time to think about lighting up.

I am praying that within 2 weeks, I can throw the
cigarettes away and begin to work the same 12 steps
that led me away from the insanity of codependence.
If I apply the same wisdom to my cigarette addiction,
by the grace of God I can quit ODAT.

( ( ( ( SaraLee ) ) ) )

I wish you well my friend, you are in my prayers.....

Hugs, SG

[dg]

((((((((((((((((hugs to you both.. sg, and saralee))))))))))
ODAAT

[SaraLee]

I started a post and somehow it got deleted. Maybe subconsciously I didn't want to finish the post, LOL.

Anyway, Sunnygirl, you are very courageous to set in motion a plan and I am cheering you on!

I was going to quit cold turkey, but as of today, I was still thinking about it....hum...big surprise. I liked the idea of having a plan, so I'm back with my own plan of action.

I don't smoke in the house and car, and I don't smoke when I'm visiting nonsmoking freinds or relatives (which often cuts my visits short so I can get out of their presence and smoke!) The hardest hurdle for me is that my hubby smokes, so cigaretts are always present in our home. So I know that if I cut back, I will most likely just grab more inbetween anyway. I need to stop lighting up completely. To do that, I am going to use a crutch and use the Committ lozengers to ease the withdrawal for the next week or two. I'm also going to use all the program tools I can and also think in terms of One Day at a Time, or as I told a friend, 4 x 6, or one hour at a time if necessary.

So let's go SG and anyone else who is considering quitting. And thanks so much for all the support and posts by others.
SaraLee

[Caressa2]

I CAN'T, GOD CAN

1) Create a challenge. If you already have one, you can skip this step.

2) Write it up and date it.

3) Open your God Can.

4) Insert the challenge into the Can.

5) Close the Can.

6. Let go...Let God! (If you insist on thinking about the challenge-or worse yet meddling into God's Business, remove the challenge and tell God, out loud, "That you feel that you can do a better job of it than He can.)

p.s. God "Can" stuff should be reveiewed every six months. This will help you to see how beautifully God 'can' work in your life, if you let Him.

p.s.s. So, what do you do inthe meantime? Which by the way, can be a 'meantime', if you let it. We are promised "happy, joyous, and free....": so find something else to do that adds to those feelings and faket it until you make it.

- Love and Prayers/Just For Today

A LITTLE REMINDER: When your chalenge has been resolved be sure to thank God for the blessings received. What He can do once, He can do again, Thank God!

========================================

Let go and let God.

As children bring their broken toys with tears to us to mend, I brought my broken dreams to God, because he was my friend. But then, instead of leaving Him alone, I hung around and tried to help, with ways that were my own. At last, I snatched them back and cried, "Ho can You be so slow?" "My chid," He said, "What could I do" You never did let go?"

[Caressa2]

GOD, GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE

As smokers trying to stop smoking, we cannot change the craving, we can accept it. The truth is that until we can accept our craving for cigarettes, we will not stop smoking. Lighting another cigarette is what we do if we decide we cannot accept the craving!

It's that simple. If you want a cigarette and you will not accept the craving, then you will surely light a cigarette. Or maybe you will have "one puff" to get you through, but even one puff is 'not accepting' the thing that you cannot change.

Accepting the craving does not mean we want the craving or like it. Accepting it means, first recognizing the craving for what it is: a strong desire physical or pschological, not a need, for a cigarette. That's all. We do not fight this craving; rather we look at it, letting it be, not getting panic stricken or feeling sorry for ourselves, but saying, "Yes, I really am craving a cigarette right now."

We do not practice self-deception and try to trick ourselves into thinking we don't want to smoke. This is an honest program. Nor do we try to hate the habit (or ourselves) so much that we quit! No, we cannot make ourselves stop smoking, but we can live with the craving, and so we pray for....

THE COURAGE TO CHANGE TH THINGS I CAN.

The thing that we can change is our unwillingness to live, even for a short time, with the craving for the next cigarette. We can, with God's help and the support of the group, change our old ways of dealing with craving and we deal with it in a new way. We become willing to live with the craving; we no longer light a cigarette to get rid of the pain of craving. Our lighting up shows that we have not acted with the chourage to change the things we can. Of course, living with a craving is hard, sometimes very hard, but you are not alone - with God's help you can do it. This is what this Serenity Prayer is all about.

So we ask God to help us to accept the craving and then we ask God to give us the courage not to take care of this craving, as we have always done, by smoking one more cigarette. Thus, we need the strength to accept the craving and courage not to light up...

AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.

(This was given to me five years ago when I quit smoking, I use it when I get craving in today, which happens often because I am surrounded by friends who smoke. I have also utilized it when dealing with food, and other obsessive compulsive disorders.)

[dordep]

Dear Sara Lee,

You've told my story except for one thing. I stopped but didn't stay stopped for 7 months.

I went to nicotine anonymous meetings online and it worked but when I stopped going I picked up a cigarette and cannot even get myself to a meeting this time, nevermind stop.

Maybe we can do it together...the website addy is:

www.unofficialnicanon.com


most of the people there are in other 12 step programs too. this website is also a 12 based recovery from nicotine addiction. Sure am willing to try again, my friend. Guess i just need some moral support.

love ya Sara ,

[bluidkiti]

This is a great topic. I have been wanting to stop smoking for a while now. I am doing as my sponsor suggested - praying and as some of you and also my sponsor suggested - stopping smoking a little at a time like not smoking while driving etc. I did quit last year and made it for about a month and a half. Then the craving hit and stayed and got very bad. I was climbing the walls. I am an alcoholic and have been sober going on 3 years and 9 months now. Well last year when that craving hit and kept going for a few days - I drove to the store and was going to get some cigs. I was walking around hoping it would pass and found myself in front of the beer and my mind was doing the calculations of how much I should get and suddenly I snapped out of those thoughts and said I don't want to drink - I want a cigarette and went and bought some cigs. I am still smoking but not drinking. I continue to pray to have the smoking removed. I have hope that it will happen. As long as I am alive and breathing there is hope. I thank everyone here for sharing. It helps to know I am not alone. Smoking is my last addiction to give up. I was just telling my daughter the other day - you know I didn't smoke as much when I was drinking - I only smoked when I was drinking. Duh?? LOL

[SunnyGirl]

( ( ( ( Caressa ) ) ) )

Thank you for finding and posting the Serenity Prayer
for smokers.... You are a sweetie!


( ( ( ( Dorrie & Bluidkiti ) ) ) )

I have given myself 2 weeks to begin changing my
smoking behaviors and cutting back. I've dumped all
but one ashtray in the garbage can and I am no longer
smoking in the house or car. I was smoking 2 packs
a day and have cut it in half and trying to cut back even
more in the next week. My target day for quitting is
March 16th....... I've smoked almost 2/3 's of my life
and I know quitting is not going to be easy. But I am
going to give it a real shot! In the past, my fear of
stopping over took my will to quit. This time I am giving
my habit to God and am going to take it ODAT.

Peace on the journey, SG


P.S. I've seen a few boards that looked helpful, but I
am undecided as to which one if any I will use. I may
just stay put right here and keep an online journal going.

[SaraLee]

I was amazed to see that this thread has been read 87 times. It appears that there's a lot of folks who would like to quit AND nonsmokers in the program who support those who want to quit. I want to thank those who have added program and personal wisdom on the subject of quitting smoking and those who are working towards a quit date. You all inspire me.

Sunnygirl, you go girl. And Dorrie and Bluidkiti, I hope you both take the step and quit smoking again.

I have talked to myself about quitting for the past week, and after reading all the posts today, I'm as ready as I will ever be to begin the process of quitting.

I am going to use Commit Lozenge as a quit smoking aid, and am looking at it as my way of cutting back on nicotine because I have never had success in cutting back the number of cigaretts I use per day. So tonight is the last day of inhaling cigarette smoke and tomorrow I begin phasing out the nicotine as well. My plan is to use the losengers for one week, then quit all nicotine. I know it will be rough, but as Caressa said, be Aware of the craving, Admit your having a craving, Accept the craving for what it is, take Action by voicing a decision to not smoke, which will bring about a change in Attitude and led to recovery.

This is scary but also exciting. I'm so glad we are here to support each other.
SaraLee

[SunnyGirl]

( ( ( ( SaraLee ) ) ) )

God bless you on the journey..... I will keep you
in my prayers.

I have cut my smoking in half and want to cut it
in half again before the 16th. I will use the gum,
lozenge as needed to help with the addiction and
take each new day, one at a time.

Peace on the journey, SG

[SunnyGirl]

Dearest SaraLee......

Where are you ? ? ? ? ?

I have to admit, my quitting smoking is not
going well. I have cut my smoking in half
and feel good about it, but I am still not where
I want to be. Guess I am going to have to
pray for the willingness to be willing and begin
again even more resolved.

SaraLee, your esh is truly missed.....

Hugs, SG

[MrDuck]

You know what the hardest addiction there is to quit?

Will be back in a few days to give you my opinion of that one.

Keep smiling.

Ron