BUSYNESS/LONELINESS

[Caressa2]

You can get lonesome - being that busy.

- Isabell Lennart

Workaholics are lonely people. Our work is like a jealous lover. It demands more and moe of us. We see ourselves becoming progressively isolated from those who are important to us. We schedule lunches two weeks in advance so that we can keep up social contact with friends and then have to break or postpone these lunches because "something has come up." We get "ansy" if we are interrupted; we get irritable if someone stops by to talk because we want to get back to our work. We often don't know we are lonely because we don't stop long enough to let ourselves know what we are feeling.

It is good to be productive, and busyness is no substitute for intimacy.

[gwen]

Thank you, Caressa, for the post. I have to admit my work as a teacher is a sanctuary for me. It demands my full attention in the present moment. I can feel that it's been a good day, full of good work, at the end of my school day. I shocked some colleagues recently on a Friday afternoon -- they couldn't wait to get out of the place, and I told them tearfully that it's the weekends that are hard for me.

It is when I slow down that the sadness arises, and then my mind is off to the races, driving erratically from past regrets to future worries. But I know that God and recovery exist in this day. May I slow down enough to receive the gifts that God wants to give me today. May I appreciate the simple gifts that each moment brings.

The other morning my head was filled with obsessed thoughts about my future, my alcoholic husband, etc. I was standing outside in the early morning, thinking that I love this backyard, how peaceful it is, and how unfair it was that I might have to leave it because I live with a man who is in the grips of our disease. Suddenly this thought yelled out, "HEY! Look around you! THIS MOMENT IS PERFECT! It's beautiful. It's quiet. It's peaceful." I was only able to stay in that understanding for a few seconds, but I'm willing to do the work required to have more of those moments, and longer ones.

Thank you all for being here today. My best hope for Mother's Day is to get through it with serenity; to surrender my expectations and appreciate the small gifts. I pray the same for all of you.

Love, Gwen