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Post by Caressa2 on May 13, 2004 18:32:21 GMT -5
The thing about having a baby is that thereafter you have it!
- Jean Kerr
What a shock! Our children do not always fit into our fantasies. They do not always provide us with the "perfect little family." They do not always fit in with our schems and plans. And the worst thing about them is that we simply cannot get them shaped up the way we want them and expect them to stay that way.
When we give birth to a child, we give birth to a process that continues in one form or another for the rest of our lives. Somehow, we seemed to have missed the concept that parenting is an intimate interactive process that continues.
When we stop trying to make our children fit our fantasies of who they should be, we can begin to see who they are!Picture taken from the follow link: groups.msn.com/FunFrolicandFellowship/powerbattle.msnw
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Post by lildee on May 13, 2004 22:40:47 GMT -5
As far as kids fitting my fantasies...... The only wish that I had for my kids, was not to raise them the way I was. By an unloving mother. To that extent I think I have done a fairly decent job. Part of that loving was to let them be themselves. To let each child express their own talents, likes and dislikes. It really is wonderful to see them both follow their own direction. One loves music, the other likes reading and writing. One likes vanilla ice cream and one chocolate. I see so many kids in this area who are so stressed out from their parents pushing them with piano lessons, soccer, baseball, tennis, track an on and on. Sure I give guidance but I also give my kids choices, options about the things they want to do. Along with their choices they learn what the consequences will be. It is their choice if their laundry sits for two weeks and they run out of clothes. I let them prioritize their lives the way they see fit. (Within reason.) The best part of being this kind of parent, is just sitting and talking. Knowing that I am a part of their lives. Knowing that I have inspired them to be the best they can, without forcing them to excel, from the example that I set. As a parent I am pleased to see my little bundles of joy turning out to be good human beings. I know that sounds corny, but they not only think with their heads they think with their hearts. Even with all the turmoil that has been in this house, our love for each other is unconditional and forever.
Geri & Amy I will love you both forever.
Mom
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Post by Caressa2 on May 14, 2004 10:27:33 GMT -5
Dear Lildee,
Thank you for sharing. My son does me proud today. He is still out there doing his thing, but that is okay. I love him dearly although I don't always like some of his actions.
When he was young his father said, "He looks like me and acts like you." I said, "Well that is good, as long as he doesn't act like you it is okay! But he must have some of me in him because he is better looking than you are! His father had several affairs during our three years of marriage and my son has always been faithful to the woman he has beeen with for the last three years.
My husband had gray/blue eye and light brown hair and came from Trinidad. I am of Celtic descent and had dark black hair and dark brown eyes. My son has my colour and well as some of my temperment. As he said once, "I am glad I inherited your sense of humour mom, I just wished I had inheritted more of your brains." He is like me, show us and we are find, tell us and that is a different story. There seems to be a mental block there. Words have always been just words, but when you put some action behind them, they make sense.
He is a landscaper and likes working out of doors. Perhaps because we left the City when he was two and lived with my dad on the two hundred acre farm I had been raised on, for the next five years, then moved to a house just outside of a small village. He is a country boy at heart.
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. I will be back looking for Lin and others.