Maintaining our serenity

[Lin]

This was the topic of last night's meeting here. I thought I'd share some of what I feel about this topic. I hope others will too.

When I found recovery, over 11 years ago I had no serenity in my life at all. I had no hope of ever obtaining any either. I was angry, scared, frustrated,frazzled, and felt hopeless. But i saw something in others that I wanted.

So i began to do what they did. I read the books, I atteneded the meetings. I worked the steps with my sponsor. I used the tools of the program. As I began changing my actions, reactions and attitudes, I got better. I finally felt serenity. not overnight by the way...

Once I had a taste of serenity, I never wanted to go back. I wanted to keep it. what did i do? lots of things.

I make sure i go to 1 or more face to face meetings each week.

I make it a priority in my week to get to 3 or more online meetings.

I do service.

I read my literature.

I work my steps. Powerlessness and step one helps with serenity.

I keep incontact with my HP every day. Prayer is a big part of my serenity. Taht spiritual contact is a huge part. The Serenity prayer alone can do wonders for me in a crisis. Accept the things i cannot change...WOWEEEE..how often I use that line on my life~!

I stay organized. That keeps me from getting frazzled over things.

I use recovery tools....detachment, acceptance, prayer, slogans. Some of the slogans that help me the most are One day at a time, live and let live, first things first, and how important is it?

All of these things helped me find serenity and they all work together to help me maintain it. Today i may get in a crisis or chaotic situation and stay there a little while, but I am able to pull out a tool and use it and get back on track. Today I may lost my serenity for a short time, but it does not happen long or stay gone for long. I remember how I used to be and do not plan to ever go back.

How do you maintain your serenity?

LIN

[SaraLee]

Lin, those are great ways to maintain serenity.

I keep in mind that I can't change anyone but myself no matter what the other person is doing that I disagree with.

Hubby has been doctoring for bad circulation in his leg and told that the number one cause of his problem is due to smoking and that he needs to stop smoking for two months before the surgeon will even consider operating on his leg because even if he operates now and hubby continues to smoke, the surgery will not help his condition. I had to admire the surgeons stance and hope and pray that hubby quits, but so far he hasn't. He is in a lot of pain when he walks but I can't make him stop. I can't change him and I can't help cure him of the pain he is experiencing. I'm having a hard time accepting his decision to keep smoking right now but I know if I want peace of mind, I need to. Worrying and fussing at him isn't going to help him and certainly isn't going to help my serenity. But it isn't easy to watch either.
SaraLee

[Lin]

thanks for the reply saralee. Youa re very much correct...no amount of fussing will make him want to stop. That had to come from within. And it will ruffle your serenity if you try to force him to do something he is ot ready to do.

Accept the things you cannot change. That's how i am seeing it.

My hubby heard yesterday he has to have a test for a heart blockage. He has had 3 different doctors tell him to start eating right and to lose weight and he has not attempted to change his eating habits. He thinks if you pour a pint of gravy on tomatoes instead of on biscuits...thats healthy enough.

Great hearing from you!
LIN

[SaraLee]

Couldn't help but laugh at visualizing gravy on tomatoes, but I sure do understand the misguided rationalization he's using. I've used it myself at times, but not with tomatoes and gravy.

[Lin]

You are obvioulsly missing out on southern cuissine. We put gravy on jsut about anything. ROFL.

LIN