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Post by SaraLee on Dec 26, 2004 17:04:04 GMT -5
Hi friends,
I'm finally freeing myself of nicotine. I have NOT smoked 75 cigaretts in the past 4 days. Now that is a great accomplisment for me and I'm still having nicotine cravings about every 10 minutes during my waking hours. With each craving, I'm reminded of the strong hold that addiction has on me, how these unseen to the naked eye cravings hold me captive and have ruled my life for so long. With each attach, I remind myself that if I hold out and do not smoke, I am adding to the death of the craving, rather than nicotine killing me.
I knew this would be hard and I'm no way clear of never picking up another cig, but I'm hanging in there and every day get closer to my smoke free goal.
SaraLee
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Post by caressa on Dec 26, 2004 17:41:55 GMT -5
Dear SaraLee, Congratulations on trying not smoking. I went back to your old post and found the Serenity Prayer for quitting smoking. GOD, GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE As smokers trying to stop smoking, we cannot change the craving, we can accept it. The truth is that until we can accept our craving for cigarettes, we will not stop smoking. Lighting another cigarette is what we do if we decide we cannot accept the craving! It's that simple. If you want a cigarette and you will not accept the craving, then you will surely light a cigarette. Or maybe you will have "one puff" to get you through, but even one puff is 'not accepting' the thing that you cannot change. Accepting the craving does not mean we want the craving or like it. Accepting it means, first recognizing the craving for what it is: a strong desire physical or pschological, not a need, for a cigarette. That's all. We do not fight this craving; rather we look at it, letting it be, not getting panic stricken or feeling sorry for ourselves, but saying, "Yes, I really am craving a cigarette right now." We do not practice self-deception and try to trick ourselves into thinking we don't want to smoke. This is an honest program. Nor do we try to hate the habit (or ourselves) so much that we quit! No, we cannot make ourselves stop smoking, but we can live with the craving, and so we pray for.... THE COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN. The thing that we can change is our unwillingness to live, even for a short time, with the craving for the next cigarette. We can, with God's help and the support of the group, change our old ways of dealing with craving and we deal with it in a new way. We become willing to live with the craving; we no longer light a cigarette to get rid of the pain of craving. Our lighting up shows that we have not acted with the chourage to change the things we can. Of course, living with a craving is hard, sometimes very hard, but you are not alone - with God's help you can do it. This is what this Serenity Prayer is all about. So we ask God to help us to accept the craving and then we ask God to give us the courage not to take care of this craving, as we have always done, by smoking one more cigarette. Thus, we need the strength to accept the craving and courage not to light up... AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE. (This was given to me five years ago when I quit smoking, I use it when I get craving in today, which happens often because I am surrounded by friends who smoke. I have also utilized it when dealing with food, and other obsessive compulsive disorders.) eor.proboards23.com/index.cgi?board=General&action=display&thread=1077833095 |
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Post by SaraLee on Dec 26, 2004 18:22:03 GMT -5
Thanks Caressa for your support and for bringing up the original post I made back in Feb. Amazing that it's now December and I finally quit after all these months...I didn't realize it had been such a long time that I was "thinking" about quitting before taking action, lol.
I'll be reading the piece in your post often. Right now I'm accepting the craving rather than bending and smoking. It really makes sense to hear that a craving is a strong desire physical or pschological, not a need for a cigarette.
Keeping it honest!
SaraLee
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Post by Lin on Dec 27, 2004 5:00:34 GMT -5
I'm very proud of you sara for making this effort to stop smoking. I KNOW you can do it. You are a strong willed, independent woman. Yuo can DO THIS! You can get past the cravings ODAt or even one hour at a time if needed.
{{{{hugs}}}}
LIN
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Post by SaraLee on Dec 27, 2004 13:23:22 GMT -5
Thanks Lin. As hard as it is to stop smoking, it feels good to know I'm doing something really healthy for myself. I look forward to having my life back without constantly thinking about my 'next fix'.
SaraLee
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Post by caressa on Dec 27, 2004 21:36:09 GMT -5
It is amazing that I am coming up on six years clean of nicotine. People who haven't seen me for a long time are constantly surprised that I no longer smoke.
Fear couldn't scare me into quitting, and it wasn't until I came to a spiritual decision to quit, that I was able to actually stay quit. I still get cravings, but just for today I choose not to have a cigarette, I choose to be 'clean' and I realize that I was not truly clean until I quit the cigarettes.
I commend you, it is not easy. I went to NA and collected key tags and hugs because I knew it wasn't something that I had to do alone.
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Post by SaraLee on Dec 27, 2004 22:20:27 GMT -5
I look forward to having 'years' of being smoke free under my belt. 5 days already seems like an eternity, lol, but I know it will get easier as time goes by. You mentioned yours was a spiritual decision to quit Caressa. Mine is a logical, realistic choice to quit, a get honest decision. I'm asking my HP for help to remember the rational reasons I have for quitting.
I'm wondering why psychological cravings can continue on forever. I certainly don't look forward to the fact that years from now I still may get cravings. That's like being in hell forever.
SaraLee
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Post by lildee on Dec 28, 2004 0:11:55 GMT -5
Hi Sara Lee,
Congrats on being nicotine free. You should drop Dorrie a line she does an on line Nicanon. So far it's working great for her.
Keep up the good work.
Love & God Bless
Arlene
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Post by caressa on Dec 29, 2004 1:36:40 GMT -5
Dear SaraLee,
When I quit smoking, I did it one day at a time. I didn't look at it forever and ever. Just for today, I choose not to use. Just for today, I am willing to go to any length not to pick up a cigarette. It doesn't mean I don't want one, but just for today, I choose not to have one.
I had to change people, places and things. Change habits that triggered me. i.e. Get up from table immediately after eating and start clearing dishes instead of having that after dinner cigarette. I stopped drinking coffee for a long time. Even in today, I seldom have more than two. I don't drink coffee every day either, but I still love and drink my coca-cola, so I am not completely caffeine free, although at times I do have to cut back or quit for two or three days. Coca-Cola is the only thing I haven't found a complete willingness to let go of. It was one of the first things I was given, then forebidden when I was a teenager.
Keep up the good work, it is work too. I had to clean all my clothes, all my furnitire and walls, as well as make sure I was in clean environment. I get very sick when I am around people who are smoking. I found out I was allergic to smoke, all kinds. I have had a lot of healing on this, but coming out of a building and walking through an area where people have been smoking gives me pains in my chest and a bad cough. One of the most difficult things for me was not becoming a self-righteous sinner.
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Post by SaraLee on Dec 29, 2004 8:56:05 GMT -5
Yes, quitting today is the only day I can quit. And getting informed about how this addiction works is also important so later on I'm not surprised by cravings that creep up on me. I want to know all I can about the addiction and how it works and also look at it clearly as I can, even the negative things. Knowing the cravings may still come even years after quitting does sound like hell revisiting me, but knowing that may happen prepares me for the possibility.
Being honest in all respects with all my thoughts and feelings is important to me as I go through this process.
As a family member of an alcoholic, for years I tried to box up certain feelings or thoughts or separate them to make it easier to deal with them. I also separated actions from the alcoholic into segments so the negative things in my life didn't seem so large or bad. That was okay till I got a grip on what I was up against and gained some tools to help myself. But what I finally realized was that if I kept things in separate compartments I never put the whole picture together, about my life with the alcoholic or with my thoughts and feelings. For a long time I felt disconjointed...if that's a word because life, me, didn't come together while I was not looking at all of it to-gether.
Today I am healthy enough to look at things from all angles, to look at life and my feelings squarely in the eye so I can keep myself out of denial and face what ever I need to face without rejecting my present thoughts or feelings.
I got off on a tangent, lol. I'd like to put some of this in the Al Anon section and will try to regroup some of my thoughts and do that later today. It has been so important for me to put the whole picture together in my life and not be afraid to look or talk about it.
SaraLee
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Post by dordep on Dec 31, 2004 21:29:52 GMT -5
 Dear Sara, I'm right with ya pardner ! I went to nicotine anonymous online, after a stress test with a cardiologist, and found i had a small blockage of an artery going into my heart. He didn't even have to tell me the cigarettes had to go...so i came online to nicotine anonymous, and thank God for the experience I had already had in AA and Alanon and Acoa... My quit date was August 1st...today is december 31...so at midnight i'll be 5 months sMober, saved $819.65, not smoked 7, 595 cigarettes and live saved 3 weeks and 3 days. The people there are wonderful and you do not have to have quit smoking already to come to the meetings....people do not pressure you into setting a quit date. They just support you and they are great.. You get into the nicanon meetings thru yahoo messenger version 6...if you ever wanna try it i'll help you get in...add me dordep@earthlink.net They have day and evening meetings... I'll will say a prayer for you and hope you join us someday.... www.unofficialnicotineanonymous.comlove ya lady, dorrie
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Post by SaraLee on Jan 4, 2005 18:59:33 GMT -5
Hi gang. Thanks Dorrie for your support. It's good to know I'm not alone.
It's been two weeks since I quit smoking. Got to say that it's getting better, easier, but am still plagued with cravings through out the day. On the other hand, I feel so good about not smoking. Anytime I'm tempted, I remember that it only takes one puff to destroy two weeks of working through nicotine addiction. I can't tell you how many times I have pointed out to myself that sneaking to the neighbor's for a smoke, or going for a ride and secretly buying a pack and smoking is not compatable with NOT smoking.
Hanging in there...
SaraLee
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Post by caressa on Jan 5, 2005 1:36:49 GMT -5
Congratulations SaraLee. When you go through withdrawl from smoking, you go through a major grieving process. The scene you described sounds like the bargaining to me. I seemed to be always bargaining with God or my Higher Self. I am glad that my Lower Self didn't win the arguments.
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. I will be back looking for Lin and others.