Topic for the week - I

[lildee]

We had this going for a while and it seems to have gotten lost in the shuffle so I am restarting it again.

I .... Insanity.

definition ... Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

Is living with an alcoholic or addict insane ?

I have had people who know of our situation say that living under those conditions would be insane. But what they don't realize is that each person in a 12 Step program has the power to change. They change themselves by working the Steps. Being ruthlessly honest and developing a spiritual nature will bring about a change. It will remove the focus from the alcohol/drugs or alcoholic/addict and place it on yourself, and you actions. It is about learning to be responsible to you and your Higher Power. It is learning to suffer the consequences of your actions. It is about being a real human in the real world.

Human life is too prescious to be thrown away like that plastic cup you drank from. People are not disposable. The are real with real feelings and emotions and lives. Would it not be just as insane to toss them to the wind?

So it is with humbleness that we approach our Higher Power and ask for the guidance and the wisdom to make those changes in our lives to lead to the serenity we seek.

Love and God Bless
lildee

[Lin]

I is for I...I am powerless over the addictions, words or actions of others. That thought helps me stay focused on jsut what I am supposed to get my nose into and stay out of the rest.
LIN

[~graced~]

Instant Gratification to Instant Gratitude?
(I'm bumbling along trying to get the topic deal--so forgive me if I'm way out there)

I'm thinking it's been a heck of a journey to get to that place of changed thinking. This from a gal who's permeating thought was 'what's in it for MEMEME NOWNOWNOW'. This from a gal who would go to great lengths for that quick 'feel good' and had absolutely no patience or desire to BE patient, loving, understanding OR compassionate. And I mean I went to great lengths to get that immediate payoff. It wasn't just about getting away from life and reality and getting that immediate 'feel good' and 'escape', it went into my relationships, my dealings with other people--it was the way I ran my life. I had no sense of gratitude for what I had--there was always something missing, something folks needed to be giving to me that was bigger and better--there was no satisfaction in relationships, no satisfaction in life. MORE--it was always about more.........

"More and yours" wasn't just about the drug/drink of choice--it was the way I ran my life.

Pretty cool thing to go from begrudgingly practicing principles cuz I HAD to to actually doing it because I WANT to. There's not a whole lot of thinking that's required for me to do right things today. That ugly first thought isn't a permeating part of my life today. It's not what I 'get'--it's what I 'get' to bring to another person's life today. And anything that comes my way is received with a deep sense of gutwrenching gratitude cuz I didn't 'earn' this, I didn't do anything to really 'get' this......that what I have today is entirely a gift from a loving G-d who saw IN me what He so graciously gave TO me........who knew before I did that there was a purpose and a usefullness to this life--that He could and WOULD actually use ME.......little ol' me.........

It's a cool thing to not have 'what's in it for me' be that first thought.

And it's an awesome thing to live in gratitude and humility-- knowing you've done squat to actually 'earn' what you have today...that it's all a gift from a loving G-d who knew your worth and value just was cuz He decided.

[lildee]

Topic for the week - I

Intimacy

There can be no intimacy when there is no love or caring .

And to give those things you first have to be in love with yourself. You have to care about yourself. You have to come first. You can't give away what you don't possess. You have to realize that with all your flaws and character defects you are still a good person. A diamond in the rough. But with some polishing you can be a beacon of light.

So today you can start the love affair of your life with the person who counts the most..... yourself.

love & God Bless
lildee

[caressa]

I is for Isolation. It is part of my disease not my recovery. It is necessary to learn to be alone with myself but imperative that I don't be lonely by myself. Me alone with me was always bad company. Today, there is much more acceptable behavior and thinking than there was when I was new to recovery, yet the old stinking thinking can still come back. When I am alone, there is no one to tell me my perception is off, no one to tell me that the big "I" is back ruling and running my life.

[caressa]

I is for Indignation. A big glorious word which means the same as resentment. Generally goes along with self-righteousness and the feeling of being a supreme being, especially over other people, and more importantly, those in active addiction. Remember to look at the person behind the addiction. The addict is acting out in his disease. Are you acting out in yours?

This is a question I had to ask myself earlier this week. My son was on his holidays having a good time, meanwhile, I was being indignant about 'how dare he use coke' and where was he that he didn't call me to see how I was doing. Doesn't he care, doesn't he know I am worried and want to know he is okay!

He was fine. I was not!

[caressa]

I is for Intellectualize. When I intellectualize, I am in my head and my best thinking didn't do me much good before I came into recovery, and although I have reprogrammed a lot of the old tapes, there are still some still up there waiting to be either destroyed, adjusted, or just brought out into the open.

Thinking about something never fixed anything. Giving thought before an action was never one of my stronger points either, it was more thought/reaction. I also need to be mindful of thought, to affirm them with my Higher Power and others, then take action.

[lildee]

Insignificant

So many of us came into recovery feeling insignificant and worthless, with feelings of shame and doubt weighing us down. Rest assured working a strong program has brought my self esteem levels back up. It helped to give my life new meaning and purpose. I am significant, I am important, I do matter. God doesn't create junk. All of His creations are important to Him.

[caressa]

I is for inter-action. When I become a part of the whole, remembering that I am not the center of the universe, and it doesn't revolve around me, I can inter-act with those around me and stay balanced and cenetered within myself. I was very fragmented for many years, always drawn in many directions, with many ideas and concepts, many of them at war with themselves and others. When I came into recovery, I was able to align myself with the God of my understanding who raise me up to a level of awareness and wholeness that I never thought possible. I must remember this is a 'we' program and I can't work it alone.

[Lin]

I os fpr INDEPENDENT...When I learned to stand up for myeslf..to make my own choices...to not depend on another person for my happienss.

LIN