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Post by lildee on Feb 15, 2006 7:02:23 GMT -5
E is for expectations. Turning to an alcoholic / addict for affection and support can be like going to a hardware store for bread. It just isn't there. While our loved ones may not meet our expectations, it is our own expectations, not our loved ones that let us down.
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Post by Lin on Feb 16, 2006 5:08:58 GMT -5
E is for EASY DOES IT...that slogan helps me take time to breathe. It helps me avoid stepping on toes. It helps me back off from the chaos. It helps me slow down and take care of ME.
LIN
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Post by lildee on Feb 16, 2006 7:46:38 GMT -5
E is for .... enabling.
Me over doing for another. By enabling I do more damage than good. I stop the other person from growing and learning and own up to their responsibilities.
For example if I call in sick for the alcoholic / addict . Who benefits from it? I learn to lie and the addict has the okay to be out sick because of his stuporous state. It is like I am giving him permission that this is okay. Also it negates him facing his own reality of being drunk /high and facing the consequences.
Enabling not only is a situation between an alcoholic and the co - dependent. It exists between many relationships. Parent and child, husband and wife and so on. If you are constantly doing for another where or how are they going to grow? Enabling only serves to reinforce a negative relationship.
It is OK to lend a hand but you don't have to do it all.
Love & God Bless
Arlene
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Post by caressa on Feb 19, 2006 16:15:39 GMT -5
E is for Enthusiasm. Are you enthusiastic about your recovery journey? If not, what do you need to change to bring joy back into your life?
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. I will be back looking for Lin and others.