Post by lildee on Mar 2, 2005 14:24:41 GMT -5
Hope for Today
When I first came to Al-Anon, I struggled daily with neverending negative emotional responses to life-anger, resentment, and self-pity. I felt trapped by these feelings. I couldn't detach from them to get perspective because I thought they were part of me, embedded in my nature.
My Fourth Step helped me realize that I had many of the same shortcomings as my alcoholic father. I shared my awareness with my sponsor, and she pointed out several pieces of Al-Anon literature suggesting that emotional responses and shortcomings are learned rather than innate. For the first time, I realized that I may have embraced some of my father's alcoholic attitudes. I could almost feel a slight breeze pass between my character defects and me. Maybe my shortcomings were not as bound to me as I had thought. Perhaps there was hope I could be free of my self-defeating attitudes.
I continued working the Steps, and finally came to Step Seven. I humbly asked God to take away my negative outlook. Now when I feel angry or resentful, I stop and "Think." I examine the thoughts that led to the feeling. Are they based on reality or on old patterns of reacting? When I'm honest with myself, I begin to see anger, resentment, and self-pity as choices I've made, not emotions someone made me feel; With the help of my Higher Power, I am learning to give careful consideration to choices that affect my emotional quality of life.
Thought for the Day
Whatever difficulties I have in recovery, I need to remember that I am not an inherently flawed person. Whatever has been learned can be unlearned. "Someone said. 'I wasn't born this way: I learned.When I heard that, I felt more hope than I had ever experienced." :' From Survival to Recovery, p. 281
When I first came to Al-Anon, I struggled daily with neverending negative emotional responses to life-anger, resentment, and self-pity. I felt trapped by these feelings. I couldn't detach from them to get perspective because I thought they were part of me, embedded in my nature.
My Fourth Step helped me realize that I had many of the same shortcomings as my alcoholic father. I shared my awareness with my sponsor, and she pointed out several pieces of Al-Anon literature suggesting that emotional responses and shortcomings are learned rather than innate. For the first time, I realized that I may have embraced some of my father's alcoholic attitudes. I could almost feel a slight breeze pass between my character defects and me. Maybe my shortcomings were not as bound to me as I had thought. Perhaps there was hope I could be free of my self-defeating attitudes.
I continued working the Steps, and finally came to Step Seven. I humbly asked God to take away my negative outlook. Now when I feel angry or resentful, I stop and "Think." I examine the thoughts that led to the feeling. Are they based on reality or on old patterns of reacting? When I'm honest with myself, I begin to see anger, resentment, and self-pity as choices I've made, not emotions someone made me feel; With the help of my Higher Power, I am learning to give careful consideration to choices that affect my emotional quality of life.
Thought for the Day
Whatever difficulties I have in recovery, I need to remember that I am not an inherently flawed person. Whatever has been learned can be unlearned. "Someone said. 'I wasn't born this way: I learned.When I heard that, I felt more hope than I had ever experienced." :' From Survival to Recovery, p. 281
. I will be back looking for Lin and others.