Post by caressa on Oct 11, 2007 12:45:50 GMT -5
Recovery
How easy it is to blame our problems on others. "Look at what he's doing"... "Look how long I've waited,".... "Why doesn't she call?"... "If only he'd change then I'd be happy."....
Often, our accusations are justified. We probably are feeling hurt and frustrated. In those moments, we may begin to believe that the solution to our pain and frustration is getting the other person to do what we want, or having the outcome we desire. But these self-defeating illusions put the power and control of our life in other people's hands. We call this codependency.
The solution to our pain and frustration, however wild, is to acknowledge our own feelings. We feel the anger, the grief; then we let go of the feelings and find peace-- within ourselves. We know our happiness isn't controlled by another person, even though we may have convinced ourselves it is. We call this acceptance.
Then we decide that although we'd like our situation to be different, maybe our life is happening this way for a reason. Maybe there is a higher purpose and plan to play, one that's better than we could have orchestrated. We call this faith.
Then we decide what we need to do, what is within our power to do to take care of ourselves. That's called recovery.
It's easy to point our finger at another, but it's more rewarding to gently point it at ourselves.
Today, I will live with my pain and frustration by dealing with my own feelings.
The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie
This reminds me that I have to accept what is, I don't have to like it in order to do that. I must take responsibility for my own actions and thoughts. I am a firm believer in "what goes around comes around."
How easy it is to blame our problems on others. "Look at what he's doing"... "Look how long I've waited,".... "Why doesn't she call?"... "If only he'd change then I'd be happy."....
Often, our accusations are justified. We probably are feeling hurt and frustrated. In those moments, we may begin to believe that the solution to our pain and frustration is getting the other person to do what we want, or having the outcome we desire. But these self-defeating illusions put the power and control of our life in other people's hands. We call this codependency.
The solution to our pain and frustration, however wild, is to acknowledge our own feelings. We feel the anger, the grief; then we let go of the feelings and find peace-- within ourselves. We know our happiness isn't controlled by another person, even though we may have convinced ourselves it is. We call this acceptance.
Then we decide that although we'd like our situation to be different, maybe our life is happening this way for a reason. Maybe there is a higher purpose and plan to play, one that's better than we could have orchestrated. We call this faith.
Then we decide what we need to do, what is within our power to do to take care of ourselves. That's called recovery.
It's easy to point our finger at another, but it's more rewarding to gently point it at ourselves.
Today, I will live with my pain and frustration by dealing with my own feelings.
The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie
This reminds me that I have to accept what is, I don't have to like it in order to do that. I must take responsibility for my own actions and thoughts. I am a firm believer in "what goes around comes around."
. I will be back looking for Lin and others.