12th tradition

[Lin]

the 12th tradition speaks of anonymity. That was a biggie for me when I first started walking through the doors. I am in a professional career. I know alot of people. I was scared to death I'd see somebody that KNEW ME. I was scared they'd think less of me because i had a family member who was an alcoholic. Then I remembered..if I am there , THEY are there for the same reason. We woudl ahve a common bond and be able to support each other. I've kept my part of it..never told anybody at work that i saw so and so at alanon. I do hope they did the same thing. Even telling a spouse is not fair to the person who was trying to help themselves by going to recovery meetings..

The fact I say my first name only also brings anonymity. If i CHOOSe to give my phone, last name , email, etc. That's my CHOICE.

Online is even MORE anonymous than f2f. I can be chatting with a nice lady here for months and it COULD be that lady is a male. We cant see who they really are, age, color, sex, etc. They could be lying through their teeth for all we know...LOL

But in f2f i feel the support much more than online, so I must keep doing that for ME.

Spiritual faoundation...is that bond we all have who are in recovery. We all know there is a higher power that can help us change our own lives. Taking away the fear of somebody knowing our secrets at home, makes us more relaxed to share from the heart.

I remember when I was young and my dad owned his own business. Doctors suggested he go to AA and stop drinking. He totallyrefused because it would RUIN HIS BUSINESS IF PEOPLE IN TOWN KNEW. The sad part..they all knoew anyway. It is not easy to hide drinking when start at 8 in the morning and ocntinue all day long. Customers and employees all knew it. He died when he was 56 because he refused to get treatment and stop drinking. I sure do wish he'd understood about ANONYMITY.

LIN

[SaraLee]

The idea of others knowing I was going to Al Anon meetings didn't bother me one bit. I didn't care who knew. But I did care about keeping what I said at meetings staying within those rooms. I didn't want the dirt on my family life to leak out and have the alcoholic up in arms. That would have made my home life even worse than it was. I trusted the anomynity of others at meetings and was not disappointed. I'm thankful for having a place where I can go and speak my heart, knowing it is safe.
SaraLe

[lildee]

Lin you must be physic. This was the topic that I was going to do for my meeting, but due to the attendence....... Anyway as the Tradition states

"Anonimity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions, ever reminding us to place principles above personalities."

There is a section in the 12 & 12 which I would like to refer to:-

The Twelfth Tradition reaffirms the principles of all our Traditions. When we act and think as a member of Al -Anon,we are able once more to see that our will alone does not determine the reality of a situation."

Even as a group our Higher Power has influence. How the words of one member affect another. Who encouraged that member to speak? As listeners do we fully understand the meaning of what a speaker is saying? Are we listening for the subtle gifts given in their shares? Do we listen to the downtrodden the same way that we listen to the well spoken out going person? When we commit to the group that is when the healing starts. There is a sense of belonging and safety. This is due to the anonimity that we preserve in our group. They way I see it what happens as a group surpasses the individual. It is principles above personalities, the willingness to live by principles we value rather than to react to the people around us. There is one final quote that I would like to end with from Paths to Recovery pg 237[/size]

Many of us are used to getting credit for what we contribute. In meetings we learn how to share our recovery with humility. We learn to surrender the satisfaction of being somebody special. We come to know that our personal good is being served by furthering the common good.

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love you all and God bless
Arlene

[caressa]

It always amazes me how people with long time recovery don't even know what principles of the program are. It came to me a few years into my recovery that I had never heard anyone share on what they were to them and about applying them to their lives.. When I did ask, I mostly heard the same fairly basic things, but a lot of people had their own concept.
i.e. Surrender, honesty, acceptance, open-mindedness, willingness, courage, strength, love, forgiveness, integrity, and compassion to name just a few. I had a list that my sponsor and I compiled but I have seemed to have lost it.

I like the Al-Anon way of saying principles above personalities instead of the AA way of saying principles before personalities.

Principles of recovery are above any person, situation or occasion. God doesn't ask us to lower ourselves, He wants us to walk tall in our truth and share with others what we have learned.