Post by caressa on Jun 13, 2004 14:44:15 GMT -5
FOURTH STEP PREPARATION
CHILDHOOD
#1. WHAT KIND OF RELATIONSHIP DID YOUR MOTHER HAVE WITH HER PARENTS?
#2. WHAT KIND OF RELATIONSHIP DID YOUR FATHER HAVE WITH HIS PARENTS?
#3. WRITE THE CIRCUMSTANCES OF YOUR FAMILY AT THE TIME OF YOUR BIRTH. INCLUDE SUCH
THINGS AS, FAMILY SIZE, AGE DIFFERENCES, FINANCIAL STATUS. WAS THERE LAUGHTER?
ARGUING? DEPRESSION? WERE OTHER RELATIVES OR PEOPLE LIVING WITH YOU?
#4. WERE YOU WANTED AT BIRTH?
#5. GENERALLY DESCRIBE WHAT YOU THINK YOUR FAMILY THOUGHT OF YOU. DID YOU FEEL YOUR
PARENTS ATTITUDE TOWARD YOU WAS DIFFERENT FROM OTHER PARENTS TOWARD THEIR
CHILDREN? HOW OLD WERE YOU AT THE BIRTH OF ANY BROTHERS AND SISTERS? HOW DID YOU FEEL ABOUT THE NEW ARRIVALS? WERE EITHER OF YOUR PARENTS SICK ENOUGH TO NEED
HOSPITALIZATION? WERE YOU SEPARATED FROM ANY IMPORTANT FAMILY MEMBERS? WAS THERE
ANY FEAR OR GUILT ABOUT THIS SEPARATION? DID YOU IN ANY WAY FEEL RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS
SEPARATION? WRITE DOWN ANY THOUGHTS OR FEELINGS YOU HAD OR MAY HAVE.
#6. WERE YOU THREATENED BY THE BOGEYMAN OR THE DEVIL IF YOU MISBEHAVED? IF SO, WHAT WERE YOUR FEARS IN THIS REGARD?
#7. A CHILD IS MADE TO FEEL GUILTY ABOUT HIS OR HER NORMAL SEXUAL CURIOSITY. THIS COMES
ABOUT BY HIS OR HER BEING CAUGHT AND PUNISHED FOR TOUCHING HIM OR HERSELF, OR BEING
CAUGHT MASTURBATING OR PLAYING " DOCTOR ", MAYBE PARTICIPATING IN GROUP
MASTURBATION. MANY PARENTS TELL CHILDREN THAT SEXUAL FEELINGS ARE EVIL AND MUST
BE PUNISHED. WITH THE LACK OF SEX EDUCATION AND GIVEN THIS TYPE OF TEACHING A CHILD
MAY BEGIN TO FEEL INADEQUATE WHEN EXPOSED TO FULLY DEVELOPED NUDE PERSONS ( FOR
EXAMPLE, IN THE BATHROOM AT HOME OR IN PUBLIC ). THESE ATTITUDES AND FEELINGS OF
INADEQUACY MAY BE CARRIED INTO ONES ADULT LIFE. WRITE DOWN ANY OF THE ABOVE
EXPERIENCES THAT MADE YOU FEEL UNEASY.
#8. DID YOU HAVE A DIFFICULTY IN PLEASING ONE OR BOTH OF YOUR PARENTS? WERE YOU
CONSTANTLY DIRECTED AND REDIRECTED BY YOUR PARENTS? DID YOU OBEY DECIDEDLY? HAVE
FEELINGS OF DISTRESS OR BOREDOM? WERE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK? WERE YOU AFRAID TO FIGHT? WERE YOU AFRAID NOT TO FIGHT BECAUSE OF PRESSURE FROM YOUR FATHER OR OLDER BROTHERS OR OTHERS?
#9. DID YOUR PARENTS SUBMIT TO YOUR WHIMS AND IMMATURE DEMANDS MOST OF THE TIME? DID
YOU HAVE TEMPER TANTRUMS? HOW DID YOUR PARENTS PUNISH YOU? DID THEY TRY TO REASON
WITH YOU OR WAS IT A PHYSICAL PUNISHMENT? HOW DID YOU REACT TO PUNISHMENT?
#10. WHAT KIND OF MARRIAGE DO YOU THINK YOUR PARENTS HAD? IF THEY FOUGHT, DID YOU RESENT
IT? DID IT SCARE YOU? WERE YOU USED TO BREAK UP THEIR FIGHTS? DID YOU TAKE ONE SIDE OR
THE OTHER? WERE YOUR PARENTS PRE-OCCUPIED WITH THEMSELVES? DID THEY LACK
AWARENESS OF YOUR NEEDS? WAS THERE AN ABSENCE OF AFFECTION, CONCERN OR LOVING
ATTENTION IN YOUR HOME?
#11. IF YOUR PARENTS WERE FROM DIFFERENT RELIGIONS, DID YOU FEEL CONFUSED ABOUT IT? WHAT
PARTICULAR IDEA OF " GOD " WAS IMPRESSED UPON YOU? DID YOU REJECT THIS CONCEPT BECAUSE IT SEEMED ADEQUATE? IF YOU DID REJECT THIS IDEA, DID YOU IMAGINE YOU HAD ABANDONED THE GOD IDEA ENTIRELY?
#12. WERE YOU AFRAID OF STORMS?
#13. LIST ALL THE FEELINGS OF GUILT FEAR, RESENTMENT YOU HAD TOWARDS EACH PERSON IN YOUR
LIFE AS A CHILD. ( NOT YOUR FEELINGS NOW ).
#14. DID YOU FEEL YOU WERE " BAD "? DID YOU PUT YOURSELF INTO SITUATIONS THAT CAUSED OTHERS
TO PUNISH YOU?
#15. LIST THE FIRST TIME YOU EVER STOLE ANYTHING. INVENTORY ALL YOUR THEFTS.
#16. HOW OLD WERE YOU WHEN YOU FIRST MASTURBATED? WERE YOU EVER CAUGHT AND MADE TO
FEEL GUILTY? DID YOU FEEL GUILTY EVEN THOUGH YOU WEREN'T CAUGHT? WHAT OTHER KINDS
OF SEXUAL CURIOSITY WERE YOU INVOLVED IN ( HOMOSEXUAL, ANIMAL, OR ANYTHING ELSE.
WERE YOU INVOLVED SEXUALLY WITH ANY MEMBERS OF YOUR FAMILY )?
#17. IF YOU WERE NAMED AFTER SOMEONE, WHAT WAS THAT PERSON LIKE?
#18. DID YOUR FAMILY MOVE OFTEN? IF SO, DID YOU MAKE FRIENDS AND THEN HAVE TO BREAK OFF THE
RELATIONSHIPS SO OFTEN THAT YOU BECAME AFRAID TO GET TOO CLOSE?
#19. DO YOU REMEMBER STARTING SCHOOL? WHAT WERE YOUR FEELINGS? TRY TO REMEMBER EACH SUCCESSIVE GRADE IN SCHOOL AND AS YOU DO, WRITE OUT THE RESENTMENTS YOU FELT TOWARD TEACHERS, PUPILS OR ANYONE ELSE. ANY FIGHTS? SLIGHTS? HURTS EMBARRASSMENTS? WRITE THEM DOWN ON PAPER.
#20. DID YOU RESENT YOUR RELATIVES, FRIENDS OR PARENTS? IF SO, LIST THEM. NO RESENTMENT IS
TOO SMALL TO MENTION. THE BIG BOOK STATES "RESENTMENT IS THE NUMBER ONE OFFENDER ".
( PAGE 64 )
#21. WHAT KIND OF LANGUAGE DID YOUR PARENTS USE? WERE YOU ASHAMED OF THEM FOR THIS OR
ANYTHING ELSE? DID YOU EVER SEE YOUR PARENTS IN THE NUDE? WHAT WERE YOUR FEELINGS?
DID YOU EVER SEE OR HEAR YOUR PARENTS HAVING SEX? WHAT WERE YOUR FEELINGS?
#22. IN EVERY FAMILY A CHILD USUALLY HAS CERTAIN " CHORES " ASSIGNED. WHAT WERE YOURS?
WERE THEY FAIR? COULD YOU DO THEM IN WAYS THAT WOULD PLEASE YOUR PARENTS? DO YOU
REMEMBER LONGING FOR A CAREFREE CHILDHOOD BECAUSE OF THE ABSENCE OF PLAY?
#23. DID YOUR PARENTS SEEM TO LIKE YOUR FRIENDS BETTER THAN THEY DID YOU? DID YOUR FRIENDS SEEM TO LIKE YOUR PARENTS BETTER THAN THEY DID YOU? IF SO, DID YOU RESENT THIS?
#24. ANY BAD EXPERIENCES AT SUNDAY SCHOOL OR SUMMER CAMP?
#25. WERE YOU AN ONLY CHILD? DID YOU RESENT THIS OR ENJOY IT?
#26. DID YOUR PARENTS WANT A CHILD OF THE OPPOSITE SEX WHEN THEY HAD YOU? DID THEY NAME YOU, OR DRESS YOU TO MATCH THEIR SEX CHOICE? DID YOUR APPEARANCE ( LOOKS, DRESS ETC.) EMBARRASS YOU? DID YOU FEEL YOU WERE " DIFFERENT " FROM YOUR CLASSMATES?
#27. WERE YOU TREATED AS A NUISANCE OR A BURDEN?
#28. DID YOU TEST POSSIBLE FRIENDS WITH HOSTILITY OR OBNOXIOUS BEHAVIOR. DID YOU FORCE
FRIENDS TO ABANDON FRIENDLY BEHAVIOR?
#29. DID YOU FEEL YOUR PARENTS ATTITUDE TOWARD YOU WAS DIFFERENT THAN OTHER PARENTS
TOWARD THEIR CHILDREN? WRITE DOWN ANY OTHER CHILDHOOD MEMORIES THAT WERE OR ARE
PAINFUL.
#30. WHICH OF THE ABOVE QUESTIONS ABOUT CHILDHOOD WAS THE ROUGHEST FOR YOU TO ANSWER?
DO YOU KNOW WHY?
CHILDHOOD
#1. WHAT KIND OF RELATIONSHIP DID YOUR MOTHER HAVE WITH HER PARENTS?
#2. WHAT KIND OF RELATIONSHIP DID YOUR FATHER HAVE WITH HIS PARENTS?
#3. WRITE THE CIRCUMSTANCES OF YOUR FAMILY AT THE TIME OF YOUR BIRTH. INCLUDE SUCH
THINGS AS, FAMILY SIZE, AGE DIFFERENCES, FINANCIAL STATUS. WAS THERE LAUGHTER?
ARGUING? DEPRESSION? WERE OTHER RELATIVES OR PEOPLE LIVING WITH YOU?
#4. WERE YOU WANTED AT BIRTH?
#5. GENERALLY DESCRIBE WHAT YOU THINK YOUR FAMILY THOUGHT OF YOU. DID YOU FEEL YOUR
PARENTS ATTITUDE TOWARD YOU WAS DIFFERENT FROM OTHER PARENTS TOWARD THEIR
CHILDREN? HOW OLD WERE YOU AT THE BIRTH OF ANY BROTHERS AND SISTERS? HOW DID YOU FEEL ABOUT THE NEW ARRIVALS? WERE EITHER OF YOUR PARENTS SICK ENOUGH TO NEED
HOSPITALIZATION? WERE YOU SEPARATED FROM ANY IMPORTANT FAMILY MEMBERS? WAS THERE
ANY FEAR OR GUILT ABOUT THIS SEPARATION? DID YOU IN ANY WAY FEEL RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS
SEPARATION? WRITE DOWN ANY THOUGHTS OR FEELINGS YOU HAD OR MAY HAVE.
#6. WERE YOU THREATENED BY THE BOGEYMAN OR THE DEVIL IF YOU MISBEHAVED? IF SO, WHAT WERE YOUR FEARS IN THIS REGARD?
#7. A CHILD IS MADE TO FEEL GUILTY ABOUT HIS OR HER NORMAL SEXUAL CURIOSITY. THIS COMES
ABOUT BY HIS OR HER BEING CAUGHT AND PUNISHED FOR TOUCHING HIM OR HERSELF, OR BEING
CAUGHT MASTURBATING OR PLAYING " DOCTOR ", MAYBE PARTICIPATING IN GROUP
MASTURBATION. MANY PARENTS TELL CHILDREN THAT SEXUAL FEELINGS ARE EVIL AND MUST
BE PUNISHED. WITH THE LACK OF SEX EDUCATION AND GIVEN THIS TYPE OF TEACHING A CHILD
MAY BEGIN TO FEEL INADEQUATE WHEN EXPOSED TO FULLY DEVELOPED NUDE PERSONS ( FOR
EXAMPLE, IN THE BATHROOM AT HOME OR IN PUBLIC ). THESE ATTITUDES AND FEELINGS OF
INADEQUACY MAY BE CARRIED INTO ONES ADULT LIFE. WRITE DOWN ANY OF THE ABOVE
EXPERIENCES THAT MADE YOU FEEL UNEASY.
#8. DID YOU HAVE A DIFFICULTY IN PLEASING ONE OR BOTH OF YOUR PARENTS? WERE YOU
CONSTANTLY DIRECTED AND REDIRECTED BY YOUR PARENTS? DID YOU OBEY DECIDEDLY? HAVE
FEELINGS OF DISTRESS OR BOREDOM? WERE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK? WERE YOU AFRAID TO FIGHT? WERE YOU AFRAID NOT TO FIGHT BECAUSE OF PRESSURE FROM YOUR FATHER OR OLDER BROTHERS OR OTHERS?
#9. DID YOUR PARENTS SUBMIT TO YOUR WHIMS AND IMMATURE DEMANDS MOST OF THE TIME? DID
YOU HAVE TEMPER TANTRUMS? HOW DID YOUR PARENTS PUNISH YOU? DID THEY TRY TO REASON
WITH YOU OR WAS IT A PHYSICAL PUNISHMENT? HOW DID YOU REACT TO PUNISHMENT?
#10. WHAT KIND OF MARRIAGE DO YOU THINK YOUR PARENTS HAD? IF THEY FOUGHT, DID YOU RESENT
IT? DID IT SCARE YOU? WERE YOU USED TO BREAK UP THEIR FIGHTS? DID YOU TAKE ONE SIDE OR
THE OTHER? WERE YOUR PARENTS PRE-OCCUPIED WITH THEMSELVES? DID THEY LACK
AWARENESS OF YOUR NEEDS? WAS THERE AN ABSENCE OF AFFECTION, CONCERN OR LOVING
ATTENTION IN YOUR HOME?
#11. IF YOUR PARENTS WERE FROM DIFFERENT RELIGIONS, DID YOU FEEL CONFUSED ABOUT IT? WHAT
PARTICULAR IDEA OF " GOD " WAS IMPRESSED UPON YOU? DID YOU REJECT THIS CONCEPT BECAUSE IT SEEMED ADEQUATE? IF YOU DID REJECT THIS IDEA, DID YOU IMAGINE YOU HAD ABANDONED THE GOD IDEA ENTIRELY?
#12. WERE YOU AFRAID OF STORMS?
#13. LIST ALL THE FEELINGS OF GUILT FEAR, RESENTMENT YOU HAD TOWARDS EACH PERSON IN YOUR
LIFE AS A CHILD. ( NOT YOUR FEELINGS NOW ).
#14. DID YOU FEEL YOU WERE " BAD "? DID YOU PUT YOURSELF INTO SITUATIONS THAT CAUSED OTHERS
TO PUNISH YOU?
#15. LIST THE FIRST TIME YOU EVER STOLE ANYTHING. INVENTORY ALL YOUR THEFTS.
#16. HOW OLD WERE YOU WHEN YOU FIRST MASTURBATED? WERE YOU EVER CAUGHT AND MADE TO
FEEL GUILTY? DID YOU FEEL GUILTY EVEN THOUGH YOU WEREN'T CAUGHT? WHAT OTHER KINDS
OF SEXUAL CURIOSITY WERE YOU INVOLVED IN ( HOMOSEXUAL, ANIMAL, OR ANYTHING ELSE.
WERE YOU INVOLVED SEXUALLY WITH ANY MEMBERS OF YOUR FAMILY )?
#17. IF YOU WERE NAMED AFTER SOMEONE, WHAT WAS THAT PERSON LIKE?
#18. DID YOUR FAMILY MOVE OFTEN? IF SO, DID YOU MAKE FRIENDS AND THEN HAVE TO BREAK OFF THE
RELATIONSHIPS SO OFTEN THAT YOU BECAME AFRAID TO GET TOO CLOSE?
#19. DO YOU REMEMBER STARTING SCHOOL? WHAT WERE YOUR FEELINGS? TRY TO REMEMBER EACH SUCCESSIVE GRADE IN SCHOOL AND AS YOU DO, WRITE OUT THE RESENTMENTS YOU FELT TOWARD TEACHERS, PUPILS OR ANYONE ELSE. ANY FIGHTS? SLIGHTS? HURTS EMBARRASSMENTS? WRITE THEM DOWN ON PAPER.
#20. DID YOU RESENT YOUR RELATIVES, FRIENDS OR PARENTS? IF SO, LIST THEM. NO RESENTMENT IS
TOO SMALL TO MENTION. THE BIG BOOK STATES "RESENTMENT IS THE NUMBER ONE OFFENDER ".
( PAGE 64 )
#21. WHAT KIND OF LANGUAGE DID YOUR PARENTS USE? WERE YOU ASHAMED OF THEM FOR THIS OR
ANYTHING ELSE? DID YOU EVER SEE YOUR PARENTS IN THE NUDE? WHAT WERE YOUR FEELINGS?
DID YOU EVER SEE OR HEAR YOUR PARENTS HAVING SEX? WHAT WERE YOUR FEELINGS?
#22. IN EVERY FAMILY A CHILD USUALLY HAS CERTAIN " CHORES " ASSIGNED. WHAT WERE YOURS?
WERE THEY FAIR? COULD YOU DO THEM IN WAYS THAT WOULD PLEASE YOUR PARENTS? DO YOU
REMEMBER LONGING FOR A CAREFREE CHILDHOOD BECAUSE OF THE ABSENCE OF PLAY?
#23. DID YOUR PARENTS SEEM TO LIKE YOUR FRIENDS BETTER THAN THEY DID YOU? DID YOUR FRIENDS SEEM TO LIKE YOUR PARENTS BETTER THAN THEY DID YOU? IF SO, DID YOU RESENT THIS?
#24. ANY BAD EXPERIENCES AT SUNDAY SCHOOL OR SUMMER CAMP?
#25. WERE YOU AN ONLY CHILD? DID YOU RESENT THIS OR ENJOY IT?
#26. DID YOUR PARENTS WANT A CHILD OF THE OPPOSITE SEX WHEN THEY HAD YOU? DID THEY NAME YOU, OR DRESS YOU TO MATCH THEIR SEX CHOICE? DID YOUR APPEARANCE ( LOOKS, DRESS ETC.) EMBARRASS YOU? DID YOU FEEL YOU WERE " DIFFERENT " FROM YOUR CLASSMATES?
#27. WERE YOU TREATED AS A NUISANCE OR A BURDEN?
#28. DID YOU TEST POSSIBLE FRIENDS WITH HOSTILITY OR OBNOXIOUS BEHAVIOR. DID YOU FORCE
FRIENDS TO ABANDON FRIENDLY BEHAVIOR?
#29. DID YOU FEEL YOUR PARENTS ATTITUDE TOWARD YOU WAS DIFFERENT THAN OTHER PARENTS
TOWARD THEIR CHILDREN? WRITE DOWN ANY OTHER CHILDHOOD MEMORIES THAT WERE OR ARE
PAINFUL.
#30. WHICH OF THE ABOVE QUESTIONS ABOUT CHILDHOOD WAS THE ROUGHEST FOR YOU TO ANSWER?
DO YOU KNOW WHY?
. I will be back looking for Lin and others.