90 in 90?

[Lin]

I'm Alanon. I have a question about AA.

My husband has been in three rehabs over the last 11 years. All three told him to go to 90 meetings in 90 days. Is that just a rehab thing? or is that also an AA suggestion? IS telling a newly sober person to go to 90 meetings in 90 days against the AA idea of not drinking "one day at at time"? It almost seems to me that they'd have to keep a mindset of not drinking 90 days instead of just today. Or is it jsut "don't drink today, but plan to attend 90 meetings in 90 days?"

I was just curious what others thought of this.
Lin

[lildee]

Hi Lin,

I can't speak for AA , but in CA they do the 90 in 90. With them I think it is more of keeping busy and clean for those 90 days. 90 in 90 is a nice idea but if you are working full time, and doing overtime, and traveling at least 20 or so miles to a meeting it can be a big burden. That is when my hubby also started doing AA meets because it was just too much traveling as there are so few CA meets. Just my 2 cents worth.
Arlene

[Tiger]

Hi Lin,

From my side of the hall, you don't go to 90 meetings in 90 days.......instead........you go to *one* meeting for *One* day for a period of 90 days.

It's all in the way you phrase it

Tiger

[Caressa2]

It is suggested that someone new goes to 90 meeting in 90 days, but like Tiger, I don't like the wording.

It is like giving someone permission to stop going after their 90 days are up. They also say that if you choose to stop going, they are willing to refund your misery if you decide to pick up.

I went to two meetings a day for two years. I was very sick, it took me a long time to find recovery, and I wasn't employable, and all I was capable of doing was putting one foot in front of the other. Meetings gave me a purpose and a place to be, instead of being isolated in my apartment. Me alone with me back then was bad company. I had to find 'something' to do iin between meetings, and friends and I went to plays, shopping, played yahtzee by the hours, read, watch TV and anything else we could think of doing to occupy our time.

I had to learn a new way of thinking, I needed to look for a sponsor, I needed to have that daily connection and reminder that "I am an alcoholic, it is not safe for me to pick up a dirnk, and just for today, I choose to stay clean!" I suffer from short-term memory and a disease that tells me I don't have it!

[MrDuck]

The odds of getting sober and staying sober is very slim no days. What is interesting is that AA had a better success rate years ago before all the easier softer ways came into play. I know I for one am grateful for the period of time and the people that where there when I did as I seriously doubt that I could get sober today.

I have looked at this post more then once and wondered why more didn't respond to it. I don't post much here anymore but decided to put my two cents in.

AA is not the only way to get sober but from what I have seen it has the best seccuss rate and track record of anything out there. I still tink 90 in 90 is the best insurance policy there. Is it asking to much. Not in my book. I know what it is like. It would be intersting to know how many meetings I went to the first 6-9 months I was sober. I think I can safely say I did more like 300 or better in the first 90 days. Back then I was working construction and drove 118 miles one way to work. Would 8-10 hours a day and come home and go to a meeting.

To meeting going to meetings is not asking to much of someone if they are serious about getting sober and changing their lifes. It is not about a social event. It was about changing my life. Actually it saved my life. Is 90 days to much to ask of some one to change their lives and maybe that of their family and others? I don't think so. Some people spend $$$$$$$$$$$$$ in a treatment center and does it work any better then 90 in 90? I don't think so. Reason is most of the time insurance pays for the treatment. 90 in 90 requires a comment on their part. It requires them to put their soberiety first. It has been a long time since I have seen any one willing to do the 90 in 90. And you know what? From what I have seen it shows.

This may not set well with some. But personally I don't for see AA to be around in 50 years. To many members are turning to the softer easier way. It is getting diluted with NA at AA meetings. And others are also popping in that really don't belong in AA. Like good whiskey. You water it down enough and all you have is cheap whiskey.

Have a great day and keep smiling.

Ron

[Caressa2]

Dear Mr. McDuck,

I have no problems with 90 in 90, in fact I did a whole lot more than that. I have problems with the wording. Sometimes it is a license to kill.

You only get out of recovery what you put into it.

[majestyjo]

How did I miss this gem? So many over the years have seen this and thought I only have to go to meetings for 3 months. Then I can back off do 3 meetings a week. Then it gets to be 3 in a month, then they wonder why they relapsed.

There were time, if I could get a ride, I went to3 meeting in a day. I called it filling up with the Spirit of the Fellowship.

It was important to build a foundation for my recovery. I needed a home group, if you don't have one, get one. I went to 3 Fellowships, had 3 sponsors, co-sponsored (a Native woman over the years I have had 3). I also had a service sponsor who I ended up sponsoring before she died sober.

EoR has been my online home group since 2003 even when they kicked me off for posting too much. They are gone, I am here. My primary purpose has been the same over the years The 3rd and 5h Traditions. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop USING. My primary purpose is to carry the message to the addict who still suffers. Sometimes, that addict is me.

I needed a sponsor.