Do You Have An Honest Desire To Recover

[Caressa2]

It doesn't really matter what you desire to achieve. The thing that truly makes a difference is what you're willing to do to reach that desired achievement. Your willingness to do what is necessary makes the critical difference between merely wishing and actually making it happen. The strength of your desire matters only to the degree that it motivates you to take action.
If every wish was immediately and completely fulfilled, with no effort whatsoever, imagine how tiresome that would soon become. Think of how completely unfulfilling such a life would be.

The real value of any achievement depends on the challenges that must be overcome to reach that achievement. To shortcut the process, even if it was possible, would leave you feeling empty and cheated.

What a blessing it is that achievement requires effort, and that significant achievement requires significant, dedicated effort. The necessity of making it happen is what brings the possibility of making it great, and valuable, and truly magnificent.

-- Ralph Marston

This was written by an "Earthling" as far as I know but he captures the spirit of the program very well.

Step One:

Powerless seems like such a negative word, yet on the whole, it is one of the most powerful and positive places we can be.

When we admit we are powerless over people, places and things, then we are empowered to make some changes in our lives.

When we can see that we can't control another person's thought, actions, feelings; a vehicles preformance, reliability, or its parts; a place where we always go to feel safe may not always be there, be available, because it can be shut down, shut up, closed, etc.

When I drank, I couldn't guarantee my actions, whether I would go home for supper let alone be able to cook it. A lot of it was about. who came into the Legion, if I found a dart partner, a cribbage game, or the pleasure of someone's company, especially if they were buying me drinks or I was playing for drinks. So even when it came to my alcoholism, I am powerless over people, places and things.

When I surrender and ask the God of my understanding for help, He empowers me to do what I need to do for myself. I no longer have to go to people, places and things to fulfill my need. He is the Great Supplier, and He in today, often utilizes people, places and things to show me a better way of living.

ARE YOU AN ALOCHOLIC?

The Five stages of drunkenness

Stage 1 - SMART- This is when you suddenly become an expert on every subject in the known Universe. You know you know everything and want to pass on your knowledge to anyone who will listen. At this stage you are always RIGHT. And of course the person you are talking to is very WRONG. This makes for an interesting argument when both parties are SMART.

Stage 2 - GOOD LOOKING- This is when you realize that you are the BEST LOOKING person in the entire bar and that people fancy you. You can go up to a perfect stranger knowing they fancy you and really want to talk to you. Bear in mind that you are still SMART, so you can talk to this person about any subject under the sun.


Stage 3 - RICH- This is when you suddenly become the richest person in the world. You can buy drinks for the entire bar because you have an armoured truck full of money parked behind the bar. You can also make bets at this stage, because of course, you are still SMART, so naturally you win all your bets. It doesn't matter how much you bet 'cos you are RICH. You will also buy drinks for everyone that you fancy, because now you are the BEST LOOKING person in the world.

Stage 4 - BULLET PROOF- You are now ready to pick fights with anyone and everyone especially those with whom you have been betting or arguing. This is because nothing can hurt you. At this point you can also go up to the partners of the people who you fancy and challenge to a battle of wits or money. You have no fear of losing this battle because you are SMART, you are RICH and hell, you're BETTER LOOKING than they are anyway!

Stage 5 - INVISIBLE- This is the Final Stage of Drunkenness.
At this point you can do anything because NO ONE CAN SEE YOU. You dance on a table to impress the people who you fancy because the rest of the people in the room cannot see you. You are also invisible to the person who wants to fight you. You can walk through the street singing at the top of your lungs because no one can see or hear you and because you're still SMART you know all the words.

[Caressa2]

I just finished reading Bill W's autobiography. My first 40 Years. Towards the very end in Towns Hospital Ebby gave him a book titled " The Varieties of Religious Experience " by William James. He was an intellectual, called by some the father of modern psychology. Bill began to see that all the experiences cited had certain common denominators, despite the ways they manifested themselves. The first common denominatoe was calamity. Nearly every recipient described had met utter defeat in some controlling area of life. Every resource of courage, understanding, and will had failed. the next condition was the admission from the very dpths of being that defeat was utter and absolute. the third condition was an appeal to a higher power for help. It did not matter what form or channel this higher power was, more importantly seemed the appeal. Utter defeat, the complete mission of helplessness and the appeal. These were the essential things. The bearer of this message was Ebby with whom Bill shared the common experience of alcoholism and who'd related this same form of transformation on a more gradual basis than Bill had just experienced himself.

Received from a good friend in NA.

[Caressa2]

The Spiritual Disease of Alcoholism
(Transcribed from a talk given by Wayne B.)

"Silkworth says I have a condition known as "alcoholism". I have a soul sickness, I have a sickness of my spirit"

"On page XXIV Silkworth says through Bill Wilson that I am "maladjusted to life, In full flight from reality and an outright mental defective." (That was my hope for the future.)"

Now you might wonder how that "ism" manifests in me as a child of God?
When I tell you I'm an alcoholic who suffers from alcoholism, according to Silkworth, Dr. Harry Tebou, Rev. Sam Shoemaker and Fr. Ed Dowling, here is what that means to me. When I tell you I'm an alcoholic, what I'm really suggesting is that I realize I look to you right now like a full grown mature adult man. In reality, I remain childish, grandiose and gravely, emotionally immature. As a going human concern my natural state is one of growing anxiety, depression and fear, coupled with an intense desire for EXCITEMENT. A condition of being which is complicated with and exacerbated by an obsessive, compulsive, impulsive, excessive, controlling, demanding need ..for attention, acceptance, and unqualified approval. A condition of being which renders me restless, irritable and discontent with life.

Now you might wonder how the restless, irritable discontented self affects my mental, emotional nature? Mentally my thought life is governed by 100 forms of fear, self delusion, self seeking and self pity, all of which drive me to live my life according to selfish, dishonest, self seeking, and considerate resentful and frightened motives in life. Motives if left unattended in me, arouse and engage dangerous and life threatening, and I said Life Threatening, levels of lust, pride, anger, envy, greed, sloth, gluttony, I turn into a pig, I WANT IT ALL. And that renders me ..emotionally a bit sensitive. Which means I have a strong tendency to take anything I see or hear, personal. I don't like criticism, and I can't stand praise simply because I don't believe you.

When it comes to suffering emotionally, I don't like to suffer emotionally, I don't suffer well, and I don't suffer ALONE.

Socially, I'm a bankrupt idealist, and brooding perfectionist who lives defensively and guarded in fear of being found out. As such I tend to rationalize, minimize, justify, and deny all my actions while casting blame upon innocent people in a vigorous attempt to avoid detection.

Regarding my fellow man and woman, I demand (and I said DEMAND) the absolute attention and control..of everybody. My response to you is I'm quick to anger, slow to virtue and I get a distinct, succinct delight and twisted pleasure out of criticizing and judging everybody I see. My outstanding characteristic is defiance, and rebellion dogs my every step.

Now as a child of God, that's a catalogue of my finer qualities. Anybody want a date? Oh my God...You might laugh at those symptoms, that means identification. They leave me with a condition known as "alcoholism" and here's how they appear in real life. I don't fit in, I don't belong, I'm not a part of and I always wonder what is wrong with me.

When I drink alcohol, ethyl hydroxide, that creates an abnormal illusionary effect in my mind of pending, seaming, normalcy. And if I ever drink again it's gonna be because I feel different, I don't fit in, I don't belong. So it's incredibly important that I stay here in the center of Alcoholics Anonymous and do that which I know will keep me in good stead with you."

Originally posted by Space on www.another-24-hours.com

[Caressa2]

AUTOBIOGRAPHY IN FIVE SHORT CHAPTERS
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CHAPTER 1

I walk down the street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I fall in. I am lost. I am hopeless. It isn't my fault. It takes forever to find a way out.

CHAPTER 2 I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I pretend I don't see it. I fall in again. I can't believe I am in the same place. But …it isn't my fault.

CHAPTER 3 I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I see it is there. I still fall in. It's a habit. My eyes are open. I know where I am. It is my fault. I get out immediately.

CHAPTER 4 I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I walk around it.

CHAPTER 5 I walk down another street.

By: Portia Nelson

This is priceless...isn't it exactly the process we go through when we learn lessons about life? We go from victim to enlightenment to removing ourselves as victims...awesome, isn't it?

Chris

Thanks my friend. I don't know about life lessons, but it certainly depicts Step Two very well, doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

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Together

STEP TWO: Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

"Step Two is the rallying point for all of us. Whether agnostic, atheist, or former believer, we can stand together on this Step. True humility and an open mind can lead us to faith, and every A.A. meeting is an assurance that God will restore us to sanity if we rightly relate ourselves to Him."

© 1952, Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, page 33

THOUGHT FOR TODAY:

A beautiful lady who is in recovery still today was speaking one morning at a meeting when I first came into recovery; and I heard her say something that was priceless to me. She had 23 years sober at the time, had met a gentleman in recovery and married him and they had a marriage which lasted over 30 years until he passed away about two years ago.

She said, "People ask me why I still go to meetings!" She replied, "I am making a deposit on my life insurance!" I never forgot those words, I was willing to go to any length to stay sober. Going back to where I came from wasn't an option, and yet I remember a man in my early recovery saying to me, "If I drank like you did, I would still be out there drinking!"

It isn't about how much I drink it is about what it does to me when I drink it! It isn't about how many times I do drugs in any form, it is about what happens to me when I take them. It isn't the substance that matters, they all lead to the same soul sickness. Alcohol is a drug!

They are all but a symptom of my disease, the problem is me!

[SaraLee]

It doesn't really matter what you desire to achieve. The thing that truly makes a difference is what you're willing to do to reach that desired achievement.

Getting honest sounds like an easy thing to do. Sounds easy, but I have found that the little voice in my head can often be very good at persuading me to put off what I originally intended to do today and make it sound like a very good idea indeed! That self talk can be very convincing and if I listen to it, I can justify hanging onto old habits and addictions for one more day, or put off changing character defects that I know need to be adjusted NOW. Tomorrow is always a better day to begin... it says to me.

Today when I hear that little voice of destruction, I try to identify it, and if I am being dishonest, I want to at least admit that I am, that I really didn't have a hold on the ideals or intentions I thought I did. Of course, I want to be totally honest with all I say so I can take appropriate action and stick to it, but when I don't, at the very least, I can fess up instead of covering up.
SaraLee

[caressa]

When things happen in your life, especially big changes, I always found it best to go back to basics. I can't, God can, just for today, I choose to let Him.

The common denominator between all fellowships is the 12 Steps.