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STEP 4
Feb 14, 2005 14:57:37 GMT -5
Post by vagabond on Feb 14, 2005 14:57:37 GMT -5
I have just started working Step 4 - wow what an eye opener. I am remembering things I have not thought of in years. Why? Because they cause pain. But, in all the pain, I see a strong woman emerging. I am using a journal writing down all my steps. It feels good to let go of all that crap as I write it. Finding someone that can bear to listen to it may be the trick.
I have been in therapy for 3 years for Major Depressive Disorder. I thing the 12 Steps, my Al-Anon group and this board may be what cures that darkness within me.
Please continue to give me directions and encouragement on working the steps. It really helps to see how someone else has done it before me. Today, I feel in control of myself and I am happy to be alive.
Jan
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STEP 4
Feb 15, 2005 2:38:20 GMT -5
Post by caressa on Feb 15, 2005 2:38:20 GMT -5
Received this from a friend a long time ago, maybe this can help you with your Step Four.
FOURTH STEP PREPARATION SOME MORE QUESTIONS ON THE HERE AND NOW
#1. IN ADDITION TO YOUR COMPULSIVE BEHAVIOR, WHAT CHARACTER DEFECTS CONTRIBUTE TO YOUR FINANCIAL INSTABILITY? DO YOU TEND TO BE IMPULSIVE ABOUT SPENDING MONEY? DO YOU SPEND BEYOND YOUR MEANS?
#2. DID FEAR AND INFERIORITY ABOUT FITNESS FOR YOUR JOB DESTROY YOUR CONFIDENCE AND FILL YOU WITH CONFLICT? DID YOU TRY TO COVER UP FEELINGS OF INADEQUACY BY BLUFFING, CHEATING, LYING, OR EVADING RESPONSIBILITY? OR BY GRIPPING THAT OTHERS FAILED TO RECOGNIZE YOUR TRULY EXCEPTIONAL ABILITIES?
#3. ARE YOUR STANDARDS FOR YOURSELF UNDULY HIGH?
#4. DID YOU OVERVALUE YOURSELF AND PLAY THE "BIG SHOT" ? DID YOU HAVE SUCH UNPRINCIPLED AMBITION THAT YOU DOUBLE-CROSSED AND UNDERCUT YOUR ASSOCIATES?
#5. ARE YOU EXTRAVAGANT? DO YOU RECKLESSLY BORROW MONEY, CARING LITTLE WHETHER IT IS REPAID OR NOT?
#6. ARE YOU A PENNY-PINCHER, REFUSING TO SUPPORT YOUR FAMILY PROPERLY? DID YOU TRY TO CUT CORNERS FINANCIALLY? WHAT ABOUT THE "QUICK MONEY" DEALS?
QUESTIONS FROM THE LAST FOUR PARAGRAPHS.
#1. LOOKING AT BOTH PAST AND PRESENT, WHAT SEX SITUATIONS CAUSED YOU ANXIETY, BITTERNESS, FRUSTRATION, OR DEPRESSION? APPRAISING EACH SITUATION FAIRLY, CAN YOU SEE WHERE YOU HAVE BEEN AT FAULT?
#2. DID PERPLEXITIES BESET YOU BECAUSE OF SELFISHNESS OR UNREASONABLE DEMANDS? OR, IF YOUR DISTURBANCE WAS SEEMINGLY CAUSED BY THE BEHAVIOR OF OTHERS, WHY DO YOU LACK THE ABILITY TO ACCEPT CONDITIONS YOU CANNOT CHANGE?
#3. DO YOU FEEL THAT FAITH AND DEPENDENCY UPON A HIGHER POWER IS SOMEWHAT WEAK, EVEN COWARDLY?
#4. HAS YOUR INABILITY TO ACCEPT MUCH UNFAITH BEEN HANDICAPPED BY OBSTINACY, SENSITIVENESS, AND UNREASONABLE PREJUDICE?
#5. DO YOU DISSECT SPIRITUAL BELIEFS AND PRACTICES OF SPIRITUALLY MINDED PERSONS AS A BASIS OF WHOLESALE CONDEMNATION?
#6. WHAT WOULD YOUR CHOICE BE IF YOU FEARLESSLY ASKED IF GOD IS OR ISN'T ( EXISTS)?
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STEP 4
Feb 15, 2005 5:19:02 GMT -5
Post by lildee on Feb 15, 2005 5:19:02 GMT -5
Dearest Vagabond,
There is a small book from Alanon called Blueprint for Progress (Alanon's Fourth Step Inventory).
It is specifically meant for doing your fourth step. You can get it from your Alanon group or on the website. Get the new version.
Are you working with a sponsor? She should have directed you to this book. You can't do your fourth step alone.
Love & God Bless Arlene
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STEP 4
Feb 15, 2005 9:40:47 GMT -5
Post by caressa on Feb 15, 2005 9:40:47 GMT -5
Blueprints to Progress is one of the best Fourth Step Guides I have seen. This was confirmed by a woman in AA for twenty-five years.
I keep meaning to get the new workbook but haven't rmembered when I had extra money.
Thanks for the reminder Lildee. I have some issues that could stand to be looked at by doing another Fourth Step.
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STEP 4
Feb 20, 2005 1:35:10 GMT -5
Post by caressa on Feb 20, 2005 1:35:10 GMT -5
FOURTH STEP PREPARATION ADOLESCENCE
OFTEN AN ADOLESCENT RELIES ON THE MISGUIDED SEX INFORMATION OBTAINED FROM HIS PEERS. THIS CAN PRODUCE A NUMBER OF SEVERE PROBLEMS ( I.E. NEVER OUTGROWING THE DESIRE TO HAVE SEX WITH THE OPPOSITE PARENT, BROTHER, SISTER OR PARENT OF THE SAME SEX ). ALTHOUGH THESE ARE UNCONSCIOUS DESIRES, THEY BRING ON CONSCIOUS GUILT’S THAT HAVE TO BE DEALT WITH. DISTORTION MAY COME WHEN A PERSON IS TOO YOUNG EMOTIONALLY TO HANDLE ADULT SEX. THERE IS INVOLVEMENT BECAUSE OF PEER PRESSURE, OR PRETENSE SETS IN, WHICH LEADS TO ANGER, DISAPPOINTMENT, GUILT. THESE FEELINGS, IN TURN, CAN HAVE A TENDENCY TO PREVENT NORMAL SEXUAL AND EMOTIONAL GROWTH. THE GUILT PREVENTS THE PERSON FROM TALKING ABOUT THE FEELINGS WITH A MATURE ADULT, WHICH MAY RESULT IN THE NEED TO REPEAT THE SAME PATTERN OVER AND OVER AGAIN.
#1. WRITE DOWN YOUR EXPERIENCES CONCERNING THE ABOVE, BOTH HETEROSEXUAL AND HOMOSEXUAL.
#2. SOME GIRLS ARE TAUGHT THAT MEN ARE INTERESTED IN SEX ONLY. SOME BOYS ARE TAUGHT THAT THEY MUST BE " GODS GIFT TO WOMEN AND THE GREATEST OF ALL TIME ". THESE ATTITUDES ARE DESTRUCTIVE AND DAMAGING TO THE TOTAL PERSON. HAVE YOU EXPERIENCED ANY OF THESE ATTITUDES? IS THERE A PATTERN? HOW HAS IT AFFECTED YOU?
#3. DID YOU HAVE FRIENDS WHEN YOU WERE AN ADOLESCENT?
#4. DID YOU CONSIDER FRIENDLY OVERTURES A POSSIBLE TRICK?
#5. DID YOU HAVE FEELINGS OF COMPLETE WORTHLESSNESS?
#6. WHAT KIND OF FRIEND WERE YOU?
#7. WHAT INTEREST OR LACK OF INTEREST DID YOU HAVE IN SCHOOL?
#8. HOW WAS YOUR SOCIAL LIFE?
#9. DID YOU PARTICIPATE IN SPORTS OR CREATIVE ACTIVITIES SUCH AS MUSIC, ART ETC.?
#10. WHAT WERE THE REASONS FOR YOUR PARTICIPATION, OR LACK OF IT, IN THESE ACTIVITIES?
#11. WERE YOU A TROUBLE MAKER? IF SO, IN WHAT WAY? DID YOU DESTROY PROPERTY? DID YOU RESENT PHYSICAL, MENTAL OR EMOTIONAL LEADERS? DID WHAT SEEMED TO SATISFY OTHERS PROVIDE NO SATISFACTION FOR YOU? DID YOU TEND TO DRIFT, LACK DRIVE OR BE SHORT ON PERSISTENCE? DID YOU FEEL A PASSIVE DISCONTENT? DID YOU RESENT NOT BEING THE MOST HANDSOME OR BEAUTIFUL PERSON AT SCHOOL?
#12. DID YOU FEEL YOU WERE A COWARD BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T WANT TO FIGHT? DID YOU LIKE TO FIGHT? WERE YOU A BULLY? DID YOU FEEL EMBARRASSED BECAUSE BOYS/GIRLS MADE FUN OF YOU OR BOYS/GIRLS AVOIDED YOU? WERE YOU VERY SENSITIVE TO REBUFF OR REAL OR IMAGINED SLIGHT AND AUTOMATICALLY HOSTILE? DID YOU FEEL YOU FIT IN?
#13. DID YOU HAVE A DIFFICULT TIME PLEASING YOURSELF? DID IT BOTHER YOU IF YOU MADE MISTAKES? WERE YOU OVERLY CONCERNED WITH EVERY DETAIL?
#14. SOME PEOPLE FEEL INADEQUATE AS ADULTS BECAUSE THEY WERE AT ONE TIME EXPOSED TO OTHER YOUNGSTERS WHO WERE MORE PHYSICALLY DEVELOPED THAN THEY WERE AT THE TIME. WERE YOU EXPOSED TO OTHER CHILDREN IN GYM CLASS OR THE REST ROOMS, WHO WERE OLDER THAN YOU AND MORE DEVELOPED PHYSICALLY? HOW DID YOU FEEL THEN? HOW DO YOU FEEL NOW?
#15. DID YOU DRIFT IN AND OUT OF RELATIONSHIPS?
#16. DID YOU SUFFER INTENSELY FROM INSECURITIES AND TEND TO KEEP PEOPLE AT A DISTANCE?
#17. DID YOU FEEL THAT DEEP DOWN YOU LACKED AN IDENTITY OF YOUR 0WN?
#18. DID YOU RESENT NOT BEING PART OF A CROWD? OR NOT BEING A LEADER OR NOT BEING " IN " ?
#19. WERE YOU SHY OR OUTGOING? HOW ARE YOU NOW?
#20. DOES ANY PARTICULAR TYPE OF PERSON MAKE YOU SHY?
#21. IF YOU DROPPED OUT OF SCHOOL EXPLAIN YOUR FEELINGS AND REASONS.
#22. DID ANYTHING HAPPEN IN HIGH SCHOOL THAT WAS A CONTINUING SOURCE OF SHAME?
#23. DID YOUR PARENTS COMPARE YOU TO OTHER FAMILY MEMBERS OR FRIENDS? DID YOU RESENT THEM FOR WANTING YOU TO BE LIKE SOMEONE ELSE?
#24. DID YOU LONG FOR SOMEONE TO CARE FOR YOU? DID YOU MAKE AN EFFORT TO APPEAR SELF SUFFICIENT, INDEPENDENT OF OTHERS, DETACHED, ALOOF? DID YOU POUT, SULK, BE A GOOD CHILD, HAVE TEMPER TANTRUMS, ACT LIKE A DUMMY?
#25. HOW DID YOU GET THE ATTENTION OF YOUR FAMILY?
#26. DO YOU REMEMBER THE TYPE OF LIES YOU TOLD? HOW DID YOU FEEL WHEN YOU GOT CAUGHT LYING?
#27. WHAT WAS THE MOST EMBARRASSING INCIDENT OF ADOLESCENCE? ARE THERE ANY OTHERS THAT YOU REMEMBER?
#28. WERE YOU JEALOUS OR ENVIOUS OF OTHERS?
#29. DID YOU HAVE DIFFICULTY WITH GIVING OR RECEIVING LOVE AND AFFECTION?
#30. WHEN SEXUAL FEELINGS ARE DISCOUNTED AND " PUT DOWN " WITHIN A FAMILY THERE IS A STRONG POSSIBILITY THAT YOU WILL FEEL GUILTY ABOUT THEM. WE " CATCH " ATTITUDES. A BOY WHO'S PUSHED TO ALWAYS DO BETTER, OR IS CRITICIZED NO MATTER WHAT HE DOES, MAY FIND HIMSELF HAVING TROUBLE IN HIS SEXUAL PERFORMANCE AS AN ADULT. A GIRL WHO HAS BEEN TOLD THAT IS WRONG TO FEEL SEXY MAY GROW UP TO DISLIKE HER OWN BODY AND DISTRUST HER FEELINGS. THESE ATTITUDES CREATE UNNATURAL OR UNCOMFORTABLE SEXUAL BEHAVIOR. DID YOU CATCH ANY OF THESE ATTITUDES? CAN YOU SEE SUCH ATTITUDES CROPPING UP IN YOUR LIFE NOW? FIRST SEXUAL INTERCOURSE: WHAT WERE YOUR FEELINGS? DID YOU FEEL GUILTY? DID YOU FEEL DISAPPOINTED? BE AS EXPLICIT ABOUT THE FEELINGS AS YOU CAN.
#31. LIST IN DETAIL ANY HOMOSEXUAL EXPERIENCE, MASTURBATION FANTASY, OR OTHER SEXUAL ACTIVITY THAT YOU REMEMBER FROM THIS TIME. KEEP IN MIND THAT YOU SHOULD NOT BE CONCERNED ABOUT " WITH WHOM ", OR " ON WHAT DATE ", OR " HOW OFTEN", BUT RATHER ABOUT HOW YOU FELT ABOUT THE EXPERIENCE.
#32. DID YOU GET SOMEONE PREGNANT? OR BECOME PREGNANT? WHAT DID YOU DO AND HOW DID YOU FEEL ABOUT YOUR ACTIONS?
#33. WERE YOU ASHAMED OF YOUR PARENTS WERE THEY TOO OLD, TOO FAT, TOO SLOPPY, TOO DRUNK? WHAT ABOUT YOUR PARENTS SHAMED YOU?
#34. DID YOU WEAR THE KIND OF CLOTHES OTHER KIDS WORE?
#35. DID YOU GIVE THE SPIRITUAL SIDE OF LIFE A FAIR HEARING? DID YOU CHOOSE TO BELIEVE THAT YOUR HUMAN INTELLIGENCE IS THE LAST WORD?
#36. WAS THERE ENOUGH MONEY FOR THE THINGS YOU NEEDED? IF NOT, WERE YOU RESENTFUL THAT THERE WASN'T? IF THERE WAS, DID YOU TAKE IT TOO MUCH FOR GRANTED? DID YOU FEEL THAT BROTHERS OR SISTERS GOT MORE THAN YOU DID? WRITE OUT YOUR FEELINGS ABOUT MONEY AS AN ADOLESCENT. DID YOU TEND TO BE IMPULSIVE?
#37. DID YOU TEND TO DOMINATE IN ANY ASPECTS OF YOUR LIFE?
#38. WERE YOU THE KIND OF CHILD YOU'D WANT TO HAVE?
#39. WERE YOU A THIEF? INVENTORY THEFTS.
#40. WERE YOU EVER DOUBLE PROMOTED ( SKIPPED A GRADE )? IF SO, DID YOU HAVE TROUBLE CATCHING UP EMOTIONALLY? WERE YOU HELD BACK? HOW DID YOU ACT? HOW DID YOU FEEL? DID YOU FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE BECAUSE YOU WERE YOUNGER OR OLDER THAN THE OTHER STUDENTS? WRITE ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS.
#41. WERE YOU UNDEPENDABLE OR UNRELIABLE AS A FRIEND? DID YOU BREAK OFF RELATIONSHIPS WITHOUT ANY EXPLANATION WHEN SOMEONE OR SOMETHING THAT SEEMED BETTER CAME ALONG?
#42. DID YOU PIT ONE MEMBER OF YOUR FAMILY AGAINST ANOTHER?
#43. WHAT WAS THE BEST EXPERIENCE YOU HAD DURING THIS PERIOD OF YOUR LIFE?
#44. WHAT WAS THE WORST EXPERIENCE YOU HAD DURING THIS PERIOD OF YOUR LIFE?
#45. YOU'VE COVERED A LOT OF GROUND WITH THESE QUESTIONS. IS THERE ANYTHING THAT MADE YOU PARTICULARLY UNCOMFORTABLE WHEN WRITING ABOUT IT? MAKE SURE THAT YOU WRITE DOWN EVERYTHING THAT YOU CAN REMEMBER ABOUT WHAT BUGGED YOU THEN. THE SIMPLEST, MOST NIT-PICKING THINGS ARE IMPORTANT IF THEY TROUBLED YOU. WRITE ABOUT THEM NOW.
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STEP 4
Feb 20, 2005 1:56:28 GMT -5
Post by caressa on Feb 20, 2005 1:56:28 GMT -5
FOURTH STEP PREPARATION CHILDHOOD
#1. WHAT KIND OF RELATIONSHIP DID YOUR MOTHER HAVE WITH HER PARENTS?
#2. WHAT KIND OF RELATIONSHIP DID YOUR FATHER HAVE WITH HIS PARENTS?
#3. WRITE THE CIRCUMSTANCES OF YOUR FAMILY AT THE TIME OF YOUR BIRTH. INCLUDE SUCH THINGS AS, FAMILY SIZE, AGE DIFFERENCES, FINANCIAL STATUS. WAS THERE LAUGHTER? ARGUING? DEPRESSION? WERE OTHER RELATIVES OR PEOPLE LIVING WITH YOU?
#4. WERE YOU WANTED AT BIRTH?
#5. GENERALLY DESCRIBE WHAT YOU THINK YOUR FAMILY THOUGHT OF YOU. DID YOU FEEL YOUR PARENTS ATTITUDE TOWARD YOU WAS DIFFERENT FROM OTHER PARENTS TOWARD THEIR CHILDREN? HOW OLD WERE YOU AT THE BIRTH OF ANY BROTHERS AND SISTERS? HOW DID YOU FEEL ABOUT THE NEW ARRIVALS? WERE EITHER OF YOUR PARENTS SICK ENOUGH TO NEED HOSPITALIZATION? WERE YOU SEPARATED FROM ANY IMPORTANT FAMILY MEMBERS? WAS THERE ANY FEAR OR GUILT ABOUT THIS SEPARATION? DID YOU IN ANY WAY FEEL RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS SEPARATION? WRITE DOWN ANY THOUGHTS OR FEELINGS YOU HAD OR MAY HAVE.
#6. WERE YOU THREATENED BY THE BOGEYMAN OR THE DEVIL IF YOU MISBEHAVED? IF SO, WHAT WERE YOUR FEARS IN THIS REGARD?
#7. A CHILD IS MADE TO FEEL GUILTY ABOUT HIS OR HER NORMAL SEXUAL CURIOSITY. THIS COMES ABOUT BY HIS OR HER BEING CAUGHT AND PUNISHED FOR TOUCHING HIM OR HERSELF, OR BEING CAUGHT MASTURBATING OR PLAYING " DOCTOR ", MAYBE PARTICIPATING IN GROUP MASTURBATION. MANY PARENTS TELL CHILDREN THAT SEXUAL FEELINGS ARE EVIL AND MUST BE PUNISHED. WITH THE LACK OF SEX EDUCATION AND GIVEN THIS TYPE OF TEACHING A CHILD MAY BEGIN TO FEEL INADEQUATE WHEN EXPOSED TO FULLY DEVELOPED NUDE PERSONS ( FOR EXAMPLE, IN THE BATHROOM AT HOME OR IN PUBLIC ). THESE ATTITUDES AND FEELINGS OF INADEQUACY MAY BE CARRIED INTO ONES ADULT LIFE. WRITE DOWN ANY OF THE ABOVE EXPERIENCES THAT MADE YOU FEEL UNEASY.
#8. DID YOU HAVE A DIFFICULTY IN PLEASING ONE OR BOTH OF YOUR PARENTS? WERE YOU CONSTANTLY DIRECTED AND REDIRECTED BY YOUR PARENTS? DID YOU OBEY DECIDEDLY? HAVE FEELINGS OF DISTRESS OR BOREDOM? WERE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK? WERE YOU AFRAID TO FIGHT? WERE YOU AFRAID NOT TO FIGHT BECAUSE OF PRESSURE FROM YOUR FATHER OR OLDER BROTHERS OR OTHERS?
#9. DID YOUR PARENTS SUBMIT TO YOUR WHIMS AND IMMATURE DEMANDS MOST OF THE TIME? DID YOU HAVE TEMPER TANTRUMS? HOW DID YOUR PARENTS PUNISH YOU? DID THEY TRY TO REASON WITH YOU OR WAS IT A PHYSICAL PUNISHMENT? HOW DID YOU REACT TO PUNISHMENT?
#10. WHAT KIND OF MARRIAGE DO YOU THINK YOUR PARENTS HAD? IF THEY FOUGHT, DID YOU RESENT IT? DID IT SCARE YOU? WERE YOU USED TO BREAK UP THEIR FIGHTS? DID YOU TAKE ONE SIDE OR THE OTHER? WERE YOUR PARENTS PRE-OCCUPIED WITH THEMSELVES? DID THEY LACK AWARENESS OF YOUR NEEDS? WAS THERE AN ABSENCE OF AFFECTION, CONCERN OR LOVING ATTENTION IN YOUR HOME?
#11. IF YOUR PARENTS WERE FROM DIFFERENT RELIGIONS, DID YOU FEEL CONFUSED ABOUT IT? WHAT PARTICULAR IDEA OF " GOD " WAS IMPRESSED UPON YOU? DID YOU REJECT THIS CONCEPT BECAUSE IT SEEMED ADEQUATE? IF YOU DID REJECT THIS IDEA, DID YOU IMAGINE YOU HAD ABANDONED THE GOD IDEA ENTIRELY?
#12. WERE YOU AFRAID OF STORMS?
#13. LIST ALL THE FEELINGS OF GUILT FEAR, RESENTMENT YOU HAD TOWARDS EACH PERSON IN YOUR LIFE AS A CHILD. ( NOT YOUR FEELINGS NOW ).
#14. DID YOU FEEL YOU WERE " BAD "? DID YOU PUT YOURSELF INTO SITUATIONS THAT CAUSED OTHERS TO PUNISH YOU?
#15. LIST THE FIRST TIME YOU EVER STOLE ANYTHING. INVENTORY ALL YOUR THEFTS.
#16. HOW OLD WERE YOU WHEN YOU FIRST MASTURBATED? WERE YOU EVER CAUGHT AND MADE TO FEEL GUILTY? DID YOU FEEL GUILTY EVEN THOUGH YOU WEREN'T CAUGHT? WHAT OTHER KINDS OF SEXUAL CURIOSITY WERE YOU INVOLVED IN ( HOMOSEXUAL, ANIMAL, OR ANYTHING ELSE. WERE YOU INVOLVED SEXUALLY WITH ANY MEMBERS OF YOUR FAMILY )?
#17. IF YOU WERE NAMED AFTER SOMEONE, WHAT WAS THAT PERSON LIKE?
#18. DID YOUR FAMILY MOVE OFTEN? IF SO, DID YOU MAKE FRIENDS AND THEN HAVE TO BREAK OFF THE RELATIONSHIPS SO OFTEN THAT YOU BECAME AFRAID TO GET TOO CLOSE?
#19. DO YOU REMEMBER STARTING SCHOOL? WHAT WERE YOUR FEELINGS? TRY TO REMEMBER EACH SUCCESSIVE GRADE IN SCHOOL AND AS YOU DO, WRITE OUT THE RESENTMENTS YOU FELT TOWARD TEACHERS, PUPILS OR ANYONE ELSE. ANY FIGHTS? SLIGHTS? HURTS EMBARRASSMENTS? WRITE THEM DOWN ON PAPER.
#20. DID YOU RESENT YOUR RELATIVES, FRIENDS OR PARENTS? IF SO, LIST THEM. NO RESENTMENT IS TOO SMALL TO MENTION. THE BIG BOOK STATES "RESENTMENT IS THE NUMBER ONE OFFENDER ". ( PAGE 64 )
#21. WHAT KIND OF LANGUAGE DID YOUR PARENTS USE? WERE YOU ASHAMED OF THEM FOR THIS OR ANYTHING ELSE? DID YOU EVER SEE YOUR PARENTS IN THE NUDE? WHAT WERE YOUR FEELINGS? DID YOU EVER SEE OR HEAR YOUR PARENTS HAVING SEX? WHAT WERE YOUR FEELINGS?
#22. IN EVERY FAMILY A CHILD USUALLY HAS CERTAIN " CHORES " ASSIGNED. WHAT WERE YOURS? WERE THEY FAIR? COULD YOU DO THEM IN WAYS THAT WOULD PLEASE YOUR PARENTS? DO YOU REMEMBER LONGING FOR A CAREFREE CHILDHOOD BECAUSE OF THE ABSENCE OF PLAY?
#23. DID YOUR PARENTS SEEM TO LIKE YOUR FRIENDS BETTER THAN THEY DID YOU? DID YOUR FRIENDS SEEM TO LIKE YOUR PARENTS BETTER THAN THEY DID YOU? IF SO, DID YOU RESENT THIS?
#24. ANY BAD EXPERIENCES AT SUNDAY SCHOOL OR SUMMER CAMP?
#25. WERE YOU AN ONLY CHILD? DID YOU RESENT THIS OR ENJOY IT?
#26. DID YOUR PARENTS WANT A CHILD OF THE OPPOSITE SEX WHEN THEY HAD YOU? DID THEY NAME YOU, OR DRESS YOU TO MATCH THEIR SEX CHOICE? DID YOUR APPEARANCE ( LOOKS, DRESS ETC.) EMBARRASS YOU? DID YOU FEEL YOU WERE " DIFFERENT " FROM YOUR CLASSMATES?
#27. WERE YOU TREATED AS A NUISANCE OR A BURDEN?
#28. DID YOU TEST POSSIBLE FRIENDS WITH HOSTILITY OR OBNOXIOUS BEHAVIOR. DID YOU FORCE FRIENDS TO ABANDON FRIENDLY BEHAVIOR?
#29. DID YOU FEEL YOUR PARENTS ATTITUDE TOWARD YOU WAS DIFFERENT THAN OTHER PARENTS TOWARD THEIR CHILDREN? WRITE DOWN ANY OTHER CHILDHOOD MEMORIES THAT WERE OR ARE PAINFUL.
#30. WHICH OF THE ABOVE QUESTIONS ABOUT CHILDHOOD WAS THE ROUGHEST FOR YOU TO ANSWER? DO YOU KNOW WHY?
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STEP 4
Oct 2, 2019 11:43:24 GMT -5
via mobile
Post by majestyjo on Oct 2, 2019 11:43:24 GMT -5
A long time since I have seen these. I think I will stick with the revised copy of Blueprints to Progress. If that doesn't do the job, I will come back to these.
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STEP 4
Oct 17, 2020 22:13:15 GMT -5
via mobile
Post by caressa222 on Oct 17, 2020 22:13:15 GMT -5
If you haven't done a 4th do one. A longtime in zzaa said she thought Al-Anon's Blueprint to Progress the best 4th Step guide in existance . It dealt with emotions.
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