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Post by majestyjo on May 19, 2017 22:04:05 GMT -5
May 19
Expectations of Others
It is our job to identify our needs, and then determine a balanced way of getting those needs met. We ultimately expect our Higher Power and the Universe - not one particular person - to be our source.
It is unreasonable to expect anyone to be able or willing to meet our every request. We are responsible for asking for what we want and need. It's the other person's responsibility to freely choose whether or not to respond to our request. If we try to coerce or force another to be there for us, that's controlling. There's a difference between asking and demanding. We want love that is freely given. It is reasonable to have certain and well defined expectations of our spouse, children, and friends.
It is reasonable to sprinkle our wants and needs around and to be realistic about how much we ask or expect of any particular person. We can trust ourselves to know what's reasonable.
The issue of expectations goes back to knowing that we are responsible for identifying our needs, believing they deserve to get met, and discovering an appropriate, satisfactory way to do that in our life.
Today, I will strive for reasonable expectations about getting my needs met in relationships.
You are reading from the book:
The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie
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Post by majestyjo on May 20, 2017 22:57:53 GMT -5
May 20
Children begin by loving their parents; as they grow older they judge them; sometimes they forgive them.
--Oscar Wilde
The mature person eventually forgives his parents. Any adult can look back and see childhood wrongs and unfairness. Many of us were disappointed by our parents, even neglected or hurt by them. We certainly didn't get all we wanted or needed. Yet, upon joining the ranks of adults, we become responsible for ourselves. Every situation has limited choices, and we work with what we've got. As adults, we realize this is exactly where our parents were when we were children. They, too, were born into an imperfect world and had to do the best they could.
When we can forgive our parents, we are free to accept them as they are, as we might a friend. We can accept them, enjoy the relationship, and forget about collecting old debts. Making peace with them imparts to us the strengths of previous generations and helps us be more at peace with ourselves.
I pray for the maturity and the wisdom to be more forgiving of my parents.
You are reading from the book:
Touchstones by Anonymous
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Post by majestyjo on May 23, 2017 17:57:32 GMT -5
May 21
Home wasn't build in a day.
--Jane Ace
Newcomer
I'm a lot better than when I was active in my addiction. But parts of my life still feel beyond my control. I don't mean earthquakes or floods. I mean getting to the dentist, repairing the car, doing the laundry, eating well. There are a lot of things I'm not taking care of the way I think I should.
Sponsor
Part of applying Steps Six and Seven to our lives is to take a look at simple behaviors that are keeping us uncomfortable and unbalanced in our recovery. Though we're not using addictive substances or behaviors, we may still be putting off the dentist, living on fast food, neglecting personal appearance, having no time for home or car maintenance, or letting bills pile up. The problems may seem minor – such things as always arriving ten minutes late to work, routinely losing keys or eyeglasses, never finding time for exercise – but they point to where we're stuck in our process of recovery. Over time, they pose risks to, rather than support of, our health and serenity.
We don't expect overnight cures, and we don't demand perfection of ourselves. We begin with awareness of what isn't working well for us. Then, each day, we take a small step toward change.
Today, I acknowledge a habit that stands between me and my serenity. I'm willing to take one small step toward changing it.
You are reading from the book:
If You Want What We Have by Joan Larkin
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Post by majestyjo on May 23, 2017 17:58:02 GMT -5
May 22
If one is going to be truthful, one has to be very tender.
--Florida Scott-Maxwell
Honesty is always the best policy, right? We glibly recite that saying, but it's important to reevaluate its meaning when we are eager to correct or direct the actions of the other people. If being honest will unnecessarily harm them, perhaps being silent is better.
The program is helping us restructure our lives. We discover that many former, automatic responses no longer fit who we desire to be. That means we have to try new, less-practiced behaviors, such as being honest without being harsh or critical.
Learning tenderness is possible. With the help of this program and one another, we are learning to express the acceptance and love that have been given to us by our Higher Power. Giving away what we have been given is sharing the truth absolutely.
I will not hurt anyone today by any comment. I will truthfully share the love and acceptance I have been given.
You are reading from the book:
A Woman's Spirit by Karen Casey
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Post by majestyjo on May 23, 2017 17:58:28 GMT -5
May 23
The price of wisdom is above rubies.
--Job 28:18
Our program is founded on wisdom, and the wisdom of the program is the light of our lives. It shines into the dark comers of the spirit where the myths lurk that would degrade rather than create, entrap rather than set free. Wisdom lets us see what and whose game is being played. Is it my game or yours? Not to know the difference is to dangle like a puppet from a set of strings hooked to head and limbs.
It may be a game of guilt, of taking responsibility for someone else's life, of accepting peace at any price - or any number of enslaving games. Without the wisdom of the program, how could we know? Without wisdom, how could we learn to give ourselves credit for how far we have come rather than berate ourselves for how slow we are moving? What a relief and a comfort to be able to rely on our wise Steps and Traditions for fail-safe guidance.
Today, I am grateful for the program's teachings.
You are reading from the book:
Days of Healing, Days of Joy by Earnie Larsen and Carol Larsen Hegarty
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Post by majestyjo on May 24, 2017 22:56:39 GMT -5
May 24
Trying to pray is praying.
--Anonymous
"Oh, God, help me! If you get me out of this mess, I'll never screw up again." This was our favorite prayer before we entered the Program. We were always bargaining with God.
We have learned new prayers and a new way to talk and listen to our Higher Power. We are seeking God's will for us. Many of us had to learn how to pray. We began with very simple prayers: "Thank you, God, for helping me today."
We learn that prayer helps us with our faulty dependence on people, places, and things by giving us the insight and strength to rearrange our priorities. Prayer doesn't change God, but it changes those who pray.
Today in my prayers, I will seek my Higher Power's will for me. I no longer bargain with God.
You are reading from the book:
Easy Does It by Anonymous
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Post by majestyjo on May 25, 2017 22:57:18 GMT -5
May 25
I feel at this age I can go overboard and be as ridiculous as I want.
--Miriam Hofmeier
A real blessing of growing old is the freedom it gives us to be who we really are. Of course, we could have been our real selves our whole lives. No doubt some of us were. However, far too many of us struggled to impress others with the person we thought we ought to be, and in the process, we lost a lot of real living. Fortunately, it's never too late to project the real us.
Do we know for certain who we really are? Age is no guarantee that we do. Living through others is not so uncommon, unfortunately, and if that describes us, then we still have the task of discovering who we really are. But let's think of it as an adventure rather than a task. It's a journey, one that promises to be full of surprises.
We have earned the right to speak our minds. We have earned the right to whatever beliefs appeal to us. Most particularly, we have earned the right to spend our days fulfilling whatever dreams we want. We're lucky.
Being as silly as I want to be today feels good. I have it coming!
You are reading from the book:
Keepers of the Wisdom by Karen Casey
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Post by majestyjo on May 26, 2017 20:50:15 GMT -5
May 26
Impulsive reactions never benefit us.
Immediate responses to every situation aren't necessary. But sometimes we make snap decisions because we fear looking inadequate or stupid. Unfortunately, because we don't pause long enough to think through a response or to ask God for guidance, we often do look ignorant -just what we had hoped to avoid.
Our recovery program gives us permission to slow down, to wait for guidance from our Higher Power. It also helps us assess our strengths along with our weaknesses. Understanding that each of us is a worthwhile human being with a unique purpose is a gift of this program.
My contribution to every experience today can be according to God's will, if I ask for knowledge of it.
You are reading from the book:
A Life of My Own by Karen Casey
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Post by majestyjo on May 28, 2017 1:25:51 GMT -5
May 27
Accepting our limitations
Helen Keller said, "Life is a banquet and most of us are starving to death." Drinking and using sure kept us from seeing the beauty, the bounty in our lives. Since we recognized that we can't use or drink – and got clean and sober - most of us today can get higher than ever before on the important things like justice, peace, and love.
Those of us who seem successful in relationships have at some point learned to accept our shortcomings more than most.
Am I learning to accept my limitations?
Higher Power, help me accept myself today, with all my defects, knowing that in your time I will gradually change for the better.
You are reading from the book:
Day by Day - Second Edition by Anonymous
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Post by majestyjo on May 28, 2017 16:13:48 GMT -5
May 28
Inertia is a powerful force. So is compulsive behavior.
"Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results," writer Earnie Larsen has said for years. I think it goes one step further. Insanity is doing the same thing over and over because we can't find the button that says, "Stop."
"My mom was dying," a woman said. "I went to live with her, take care of her. We had our issues, like most mothers and daughters. But I love my mom, and this was the end of her life.
"She had a studio apartment. We both lived in that one room. I had to get out of there once in a while. Whenever I returned from being out, I knew what to expect. My mom would slam me with sarcastic remarks. She'd say things like, "It's nice to know that I'm not as important to you as your friends."
"My mom had used sarcasm to cover her emotions all my life. I had tried to explain this to her, and how I felt when she was sarcastic with me. I had told her it was okay for her to be vulnerable with me and just say how she really feels. She either didn't get it, or she didn't want to change.
"I had to keep taking breaks. I couldn't be there 24 hours a day. But I'd cringe when I came home, dreading her caustic remarks. One night, I tiptoed in. I was praying to God that Mom would be asleep. She wasn't She was lying there waiting for me to walk through the door.
"I took off my coat. Asked her how she was doing. Said I had a nice night.
"'I'm glad you had a good time,' Mom said. 'But I feel really sad and scared when I'm alone. And I feel better now that you're here.'
"I couldn't believe what I heard. Don't tell me it's too late to do things differently. My mom made a choice and took the action to change in the last week of her life."
Putting values into action in our lives takes courage and hard work. Sometimes the little steps we take mean a lot.
Change the things we can.
You are reading from the book:
52 Weeks of Conscious Contact by Melody Beattie
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Post by majestyjo on May 29, 2017 19:57:41 GMT -5
May 29
Information is of two kinds. We know a subject ourselves, or we know where we can find information upon it.
--Samuel Johnson
Knowledge is power. The more information we have, the more empowered we feel. The unknown can be scary. We don't know what we're getting into so we don't act at all. When we know our legal rights and obligations, we start making decisions we feel good about. We can confront difficult situations with confidence instead of fear.
We can get information about our legal rights concerning debt and divorce or debt and collection agencies by visiting the library, a lawyer, Debtors Anonymous meetings, financial advisers, and nonprofit consumer credit agencies.
Today I will make it my responsibility to learn as much as I can about my debt and related legal issues.
You are reading from the book:
Letting Go of Debt by Karen Casanova
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Post by majestyjo on May 30, 2017 21:26:24 GMT -5
May 30
You have three choices: keep on fighting, ignore each other, or make up and be friends.
--John Knoblauch
Once there were four sixth-graders - two boys and two girls - who started to fight even though they'd been friends for years. One morning at the bus stop, the boys started playing keep-away with the girls' shoes and wouldn't give them back. One of the mothers called the school.
Later that day, the counselor called them in and asked them what the fight was all about. They said they didn't really know.
"Well," said the counselor, "it doesn't really matter why you started fighting. Right now, you've got three choices: keep on fighting, ignore each other, or make up."
The group chose to ignore each other after discussing it among themselves. They were happy to be able to stop fighting. About the time of winter vacation, they decided to be friends again.
What conflicts can I resolve by letting them be?
You are reading from the book:
Today's Gift by Anonymous
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Post by majestyjo on Jun 1, 2017 20:34:55 GMT -5
May 31
Noble deeds and hot baths are the best cures for depression.
--Dodie Smith
When we change our lives, we give up old patterns. Some of these old patterns, as harmful as they may have been, were like our best friends. We could turn to them for comfort and escape. After giving them up, and after the first elated feelings of liberation, we may also have to deal with depression and grief of loss.
What should we remember at these times? First of all, depression has a beginning, and it has an end. In the midst of it, we may feel that nothing will ever look good again. That is not so. The loss of energy, the dark mood, the hopelessness – all will pass and we will regain our vitality and joy of life. Second, it helps to stay active. Physical activity is one of the best medicines for a depressed mood: vigorous walks, physical labor, or a good workout at the gym. Another kind of activity is helping others, reaching out to those in need of companionship and a helping hand. It is surprising how good it feels to make a difference in another person’s life. The third thing we can do is stop our negative thoughts. We can simply interrupt a train of thought in the same way we might interrupt a conversation and change the subject. Finally, we can take comfort in the faith that our Higher Power will provide what we need in the long run.
Today I will take good care of my mental well-being.
You are reading from the book:
Wisdom to Know by Anonymous
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Post by majestyjo on Jun 1, 2017 20:35:57 GMT -5
June 1
Seize the opportunity by the beard, for it is bald behind.
--Bulgarian proverb
Through laziness or inattention, we often miss opportunities to grow. Maybe we don't play our hunches or listen to our intuition. Maybe we see an opportunity but fail to act because we're not sure it's what we ought to do. An opportunity to fulfill a lifelong dream has appeared, but we don't trust our good fortune. A chance has come to use our talent to help someone, but we don't know how the person will handle it, so we do nothing.
And we rationalize. We decide it's a frivolous impulse, a whim that's not worth our attention. We decide it couldn't be our Inner Guide.
God seldom takes us by the scruff of the neck and pulls us to our next destination. God provides the opportunities; it's up to us to seize them. God talks to us; it's up to us to listen.
Today I'll be on the lookout or God's opportunities.
You are reading from the book:
In God's Care by Karen Casey
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Post by majestyjo on Jun 2, 2017 23:22:35 GMT -5
June 2
The ego is a self-justifying historian, which seeks only that information that agrees with it, rewrites history when it needs to, and does not even see the evidence that threatens it.
--Anthony G. Greenwald
One of the larger struggles facing us is relinquishing, the need to be right always. Only when we've given up the struggle do we understand that the battle is finally won. We come to see nonresistance as the quintessence of the power play. However, our need to be right is the point of real concern, and in order to let go of this need, clarity regarding the human condition is in order.
Few of us are sure of our worth, our necessity to the better functioning of the human universe. We falter and fear our mistakes, certain that they will enlighten our fellow travelers about our inadequacies. And so we bully others, covertly or with great poise, into accepting our viewpoints. We believe that ideas shared by others are more valuable, and thus our own value is assured. No one is served by the exercises in truth.
Might the time finally come when I will understand that my individual existence is all the proof I need that I am right - without the struggle? I can practice this belief today.
You are reading from the book:
The Promise of a New Day by Karen Casey and Martha Vanceburg
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Post by majestyjo on Jun 3, 2017 17:59:58 GMT -5
June 3
Depression and Despair
Do we go about our daily work dutifully but joylessly? Have we settled for less in our jobs, homes, or relationships than we want? Have we substituted financial security or physical comfort for the freedom to pursue our heart's desires?
Very few of us give ourselves the opportunities to explore our real interests and potentials. We "lock" ourselves into rigid ways of regarding the world and our options. We often settle for less than our highest aspirations because we have conditioned ourselves into thinking life is joyless endurance or survival at best.
In order to change the empty circumstances in our lives we need to change our limited thinking patterns. Instead of looking at life as a prison, we can view it as a smorgasbord of opportunities that are well within our reach. By exploring and sampling the choices before us we can discover which choices bring us inner satisfaction and increase our sense of purpose.
TODAY I will remind myself of what Roman philosopher Seneca said hundreds of years ago, "The great blessings of mankind are within us, and within our reach..."
You are reading from the book:
The Reflecting Pond by Liane Cordes
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Post by majestyjo on Jun 4, 2017 22:33:29 GMT -5
June 4
Without discipline, there's no life at all.
--Katharine Hepburn
We all have deadlines we must meet. We have bills to pay, responsibilities at work, children with school projects - all the innumerable small markers that push life forward.
When we realize we're procrastinating, we need to be committed to not shaming ourselves. Procrastination is not an indication that we have failed. How realistic would it be if we looked forward to doing unpleasant things? It's human to avoid what we'd rather not do.
As we free ourselves from the burden of perfectionism, we're free to better accept our responsibilities. Meeting deadlines as well as we can, one at a time, pays off in serenity and a manageable life. When we are crisis ridden, we are forced to live by other peoples' demands, rather than by our choices. In the face of procrastination, resentment, or perfectionism, we can turn to Step Ten for an inventory. We can forgive ourselves, try to laugh at ourselves, live in the present, and keep going. Today can be better than yesterday.
I may as well admit it - there's probably something I'm avoiding. Is today the day to do it?
You are reading from the book:
Answers in the Heart by Anonymous
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Post by majestyjo on Jun 5, 2017 19:59:40 GMT -5
June 5
Don't miss out on today's learning experiences.
They won't come again. We will never have another day exactly like today, so let's take advantage of the lessons we're offered.
We don't like to make mistakes, and we don't like to be in situations that are fraught with stress, but mistakes and distress seem to go along with being human and alive. Both can be turned into sound learning experiences.
We don't learn if we try to deny or ignore the situation we don't like or don't handle well. How much better if we can accept the difficulty, see how we have contributed to it, and arrive at a positive course of action. And how often it helps to talk about the problem with someone else instead of pridefully insisting on muddling through alone. Very likely, we will discover that today's richest learning experiences are those we share with others.
I will accept the lessons today offers and share them with someone else so that we both can grow.
You are reading from the book:
Inner Harvest by Elisabeth L.
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Post by majestyjo on Jun 6, 2017 19:46:11 GMT -5
June 6
Reflection for the Day
One of the best ways to get out of the self-pity trap is to do some "instant bookkeeping." For every entry of misery on the debit side of our ledger, we can surely find a blessing to mark on the credit side: the health we enjoy, the illnesses we don't have, the friends who love us and who allow us to love them, a clean and sober 24 hours, a good day's work. If we but try, we can easily list a whole string of credits that will far outweigh the debit entries which cause self-pity. Is my emotional balance on the credit side today?
Today I Pray
May I learn to sort out my debits and credits and add it all up. May I list my several blessings on the credit side. May my ledger show me, when all is totaled, a fat fund of good things to draw on.
Today I Will Remember
I have blessings in my savings.
You are reading from the book:
A Day at a Time (Softcover) by Anonymous
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Post by majestyjo on Jun 7, 2017 18:52:13 GMT -5
June 7
Problems are opportunities for stretching our minds.
Wringing our hands over circumstances gone awry wastes our energy. In any twenty-four hours we will experience many situations that will evolve according to God's plan, rather than our own. We'd feel our spirits being lifted if we could assume that any ripple in a day's activities is simply God's way of reminding us that outcomes are not ours to orchestrate.
As we grow accustomed to a broader range of perspectives than just our own, we become more aware of the multiplicity of views. This stretches our minds, teaching us to see in new and valuable ways. It is no accident that each of us brings a unique contribution and personal viewpoint to the table. God's design has gathered us together to learn from one another.
I will appreciate other people's viewpoints today. It is part of God's plan for my growth.
You are reading from the book:
A Life of My Own by Karen Casey
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. I will be back looking for Lin and others.