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Post by majestyjo on Jun 8, 2017 22:16:47 GMT -5
June 8
We do not have to get caught in the middle of other people's issues.
-- Melody Beattie
Learning to respect boundaries, our own and other people's, eliminates much of the stress that hinders relationships. Accepting the behavior and the opinions of our friends as legitimate for them allows our relationships to teach us tolerance and patience and love. Our journey on this planet is not about "fixing" or controlling others, but about loving them wholly, just as we want to be loved.
We need other people. Our humanity is enhanced by our mutual experiences. But we also need to let others learn from their mistakes and their own experiences, rather than to help them avoid what they need for their growth. We hate to see our friends in pain. Our compassion is triggered when trouble trips them. But their journey must be inviolate. We'll only prolong their struggle by intervening where we aren't needed.
It's hard to back away when a friend is in trouble. But telling a friend you love and support him or her may give them the strength they need.
You are reading from the book:
A Woman's Spirit by Karen Casey
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Post by majestyjo on Jun 9, 2017 21:48:39 GMT -5
June 9
An intimate truth is also a universal truth.
--John Cournos
Truth is often associated primarily with the larger issues and set alongside such ideals as Justice, Freedom, and Democracy. We like the grand words - and properly so on the grand occasions.
But let's remember, too, that truth between us and someone we are close to is also of supreme value. An endearment, a tender emotion shared, an admission, an apology, a vow, an act of forgiveness - all these take on the meaning of truth in an intimate context. And that, for all of us, is a context that matters.
How we are with one another on the level of feeling and trust is of vital importance. In building a meaningful relationship, we are implicitly making a statement about what the world can be - one built on courage, tolerance, affection, honesty, and love. Such truths as these will ring out clearly until the end of time.
I am uncovering many truths in my life that are connected to my relationships with other people.
You are reading from the book:
Answers in the Heart by Anonymous
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Post by majestyjo on Jun 10, 2017 10:01:48 GMT -5
June 10
There is an end to grief if we have the courage to accept our personal goodness and our ongoing right to happiness.
-- Justin Langley
Making peace with our losses takes time and trust. In the past, we may have acted in ways that were heartbreaking to ourselves and others. But now we have a new choice; we can walk the road of self-forgiveness and stop punishing ourselves for past deeds, or we can decide that we don't deserve to feel good, that clinging to our pain, guilt, and self-loathing will somehow make up for some of the damage.
Believing our wrongs are too great to be righted leaves us in a perpetual state of mourning. It's a risk, but we can choose to believe that change is possible, not all at once but slowly, one day at a time.
Believing that God loves us and wants us to be happy gives us the courage to make amends and face our past head on. When we take the leap of faith necessary to grieve and let go of the past, we take back our best selves, and the lives we were meant to live.
Today give me the strength and the courage to grieve my losses.
You are reading from the book:
Body, Mind, and Spirit by Anonymous
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Post by majestyjo on Jun 11, 2017 5:40:54 GMT -5
June 11
At first, I resented it when my friends in the program told me to be God or let God.
-- Myrna K.
Who consciously decided to play God? Not me. Not you. But many of us have a terrible time letting God run the world. No matter how much we resolve not to, we take responsibility for things we can't control. That's what playing God is, and that's what a lot of us have practiced for a long, long time. Playing God is not only hard work, it's also a good way to ruin relationships. People just don't like to be around would-be mortal "gods" whose clay feet are all too visible. Our good intentions don't make people feel less defensive about us.
Letting go isn't easy. Especially if we confuse letting go with not caring. Of course we care. But that does not and must not mean we are responsible. Can we care enough to let others make their own mistakes, earn their own victories, and take responsibility for their own lives? Not to do so, no matter how we may feel about it, breeds dependency in both them and us.
We must care enough to let them be.
Today, I will be aware that "doing for" someone else is also "doing to" him or her.
You are reading from the book:
Days of Healing, Days of Joy by Earnie Larsen and Carol Larsen Hegarty
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Post by majestyjo on Jun 12, 2017 7:12:31 GMT -5
une 12
Love doesn't just sit there like a stone, it has to be made, like bread - re-made all the time, made new.
--Ursula K. Le Guin
We love to be loved; we love to be held; we love to be caressed. A show of appreciation we love too. And we love to know we've been heard. The friends, the spouses, the children in our lives want the same from us. Like a garden that needs water, sun, weeding to nurture the growth, so does love need attending to. To become whole and healthy people, we need tender nurturing. And we also need to give away what we get. Those we nurture will bless our growth.
Love is dynamic, not static. It is always changing, and it always changes those it enfolds. Since coming into this program where the sharing of oneself, the open expression of love, is profoundly evident, we each have changed. And our presence has changed others. We have learned to accept love and give it. But better yet, we have learned that we deserve love.
I will look around me today at others, and I will remember my growth and theirs depends on loving and being loved. I will reach out. I can make love new.
You are reading from the book:
Each Day a New Beginning by Karen Casey
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Post by majestyjo on Jun 13, 2017 13:07:36 GMT -5
June 13
The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.
--E. E. Cummings
One of the true gifts of recovery is that we learn to laugh again. No matter how beat up our spirits have been by our addiction, no matter how heavy or hard our hearts have become, one day we find ourselves laughing. The lightness in our hearts lets us know life is good.
It may happen in a meeting as we suddenly stop taking ourselves so seriously. It may happen as we learn to socialize again and share a joke or score a goal in a group of our new friends. It may happen as we look into the eyes of someone who loves us and our hearts bubble over with joy.
Laughter heals us. It is one of our heart's songs. There is always some in our life, somewhere - and we need only look in order to find it.
Prayer for the Day
Higher Power, please give me something today that will tickle me with joy or humor. Help me give in to the urge to laugh. I know my laughter is music to your ears.
Today's Action
When I notice something to laugh or smile about today, I will share it with others. Humor and joy are meant to be shared.
You are reading from the book:
God Grant Me... by Anonymous
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Post by majestyjo on Jun 14, 2017 7:10:19 GMT -5
June 14
Change in all things is sweet.
-- Aristotle
Newcomer
I don't know why I'm still going through such emotional ups and downs at this point. I'm not in withdrawal, my body chemistry is no longer in chaos, and I know how to take better care of myself. I'm open to many new things, and I'm growing and changing faster than I ever expected. Why should I feel bad?
Sponsor
Each time I reach a new awareness, I have to go through a grieving process for the old me. Suddenly it feels as if I'm someone else, somewhere else. I'm not the person I was yesterday. Even if that person was less conscious and closer to active addiction, still, that person was the me I knew. Sometimes I miss that old familiar self. We'd spent a lot of time together.
Recovery awakens us to new possibilities. We have to change, experiment, take risks - even though we may think we detest change! Being alive and having joy sustains us. We may not have all the answers, but we want to ask the questions. Taking time for daily meditations helps us to find the peace and calm at our center. As recovery continues, the sense that everything is moving too quickly will slow down.
Today, though things may not be different, I am different.
You are reading from the book:
If You Want What We Have by Joan Larkin
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Post by majestyjo on Jun 15, 2017 19:26:02 GMT -5
June 15
It takes about ten years to get used to how old you are.
--Unknown
If it is hard to adjust to our age, how much harder it must be to realize we can't even run our own life with any degree of competence. Until we get used to that idea, we will keep having living troubles. Accepting our incompetence doesn't have to take forever, though. The Third Step is a shortcut that requires no action, only a decision.
Once the decision is made to turn our will and our life over to the care of God, things begin to happen. We are likely to find ourselves being drawn to spiritual people. Maybe we'll read a book or hear something as simple as the lyrics of a song that speak to us in a special way. God is acting on our decision. And we find ourselves a great deal happier in God's care than our own.
I'm getting used to the idea that God does a better job of running my life than I do.
You are reading from the book:
In God's Care by Karen Casey
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Post by majestyjo on Jun 16, 2017 22:50:40 GMT -5
June 16
I am responsible for myself, my recovery, my well-being, my happiness. All these things are, ultimately, my own responsibility.
--Anonymous
Our Higher Power does not lay claim to our free will. We can choose not to be responsible and make ourselves more miserable by going to new levels of despair and depression. Or we can seize every opportunity for a better life. We are responsible.
When we were newcomers and just getting started, we were generally very confused. We welcomed the support. Many of us were fed up with our lives and would have freely turned them in for a different model. But we learned to put into action what we were learning. We are responsible.
Our sponsors give us good advice and sound instructions. We can choose to listen to the advice or not. We are responsible.
Although we will always be dependent on God for our strength, it is up to us to ask God for that strength and do the necessary work to receive it. We are responsible.
Today, I'll remember my Higher Power has given me free will to accept or reject responsibility. My life is better when I act responsibly.
You are reading from the book:
Easy Does It by Anonymous
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Post by majestyjo on Jun 17, 2017 17:04:53 GMT -5
une 17
Love is selfless, yet it exhilarates the self.
--Sue Atchley Ebaugh
With a quickened step we hurry toward a challenge when empowered by love. Conversely, even the simplest of experiences have the power to fill us with dread when love is absent.
Expressed to a friend, a lover, even a stranger, love promises us unanticipated gifts. We're openly appreciated, the glow of warmth enfolds us, and we find even our courage is magically bolstered when we've shared ourselves in a loving way with someone.
With ease we may express love to children, touched by their vulnerability, certain we'll not be bruised by rejection. If only we'd continue our free expression of love to all the child adults on our paths, we'd discover both exhilaration and the courage to face any event life passes our way.
You are reading from the book:
Worthy of Love by Karen Casey
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Post by majestyjo on Jun 18, 2017 9:36:48 GMT -5
June 18
Love at first sight is easy to understand. It's when two people have been looking at each other for years that it becomes a miracle.
--Sam Levenson
True intimacy introduces us to ourselves. A loving relationship is the greatest therapy. When we first fall in love, we are filled with optimism and the greatest hopes for fulfillment of our dreams. We cling to all the best qualities of the person we fall in love with and we look past those things we don't like. But living in an intimate partnership takes us beyond the edge of what we have learned. It is truly an adult developmental challenge.
Most of us fall in love and soon find ourselves in over our heads. We haven't had experience as adults in sustaining the openness and vulnerability we have walked into. We may gradually begin to feel too vulnerable and exposed. The relationship tests our ability to trust someone who has this much access to our inner self. We are tempted to become cranky, edgy, or overly sensitive. We may test our partner's love by asking, If you love me, will you do such and such? We begin to try to control our partner so we don't feel so vulnerable. All these temptations are holdover behaviors from our less mature selves. So we must reach for our more mature selves, breathe deeply, and trust that we can survive while being so close and vulnerable.
Today I will turn to my Higher Power for guidance in going forward, in trust while being vulnerable.
You are reading from the book:
Wisdom to Know by Anonymous
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Post by majestyjo on Jun 19, 2017 16:00:26 GMT -5
June 19
A spiritual life is natural
Conscious Contact. Coming into what is clearly a spiritual program, we may have been fearful that our own unworthiness would hold us back. We may have believed that a spiritual life and a "conscious contact" with God are reserved for a few people with saintly qualities.
What we must know is that the spiritual life is every person's right. It includes the human qualities that have brought our greatest progress. "The spirit of the thing" is an ordinary phrase, but it expresses the presence of a Higher Power in our lives.
What's most useful to know is that we can contact our Higher Power at any time, in any place. This can be extremely important when we are in very bad situations. We always have a Higher Power to pull us through and to set things right in our lives. That's our birthright as human beings.
I'll turn to my Higher Power frequently throughout the day, if only for a few moments each time. This will keep me on the right path.
You are reading from the book:
Walk in Dry Places by Mel B.
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Post by majestyjo on Jun 20, 2017 19:33:33 GMT -5
June 20
A.A. Thought for the Day
Sometimes we can't help thinking, Why can't we ever drink again? The answer is that at some time in our drinking careers, we passed what is called our "tolerance point." We passed from a condition in which we could tolerate alcohol to a condition in which we could not tolerate it at all. After that, if we took one drink, we would sooner or later end up drunk. When I think of liquor now, do I think of it as something that I can never tolerate again?
Meditation for the Day
The goal of the spiritual life is in sight. All I need is the final effort. The saddest records are made by people who ran well, with brave, stout hearts, until the sight of the goal, and then some weakness or self-indulgence held them back. They never knew how near they were to victory.
Prayer for the Day
I pray that I may press on until the goal is reached. I pray that I will not give up in the final stretch.
You are reading from the book:
Twenty-four Hours a Day for Teens by Anonymous
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Post by majestyjo on Jun 21, 2017 16:06:26 GMT -5
June 21
Real friends are those who, when you've made a fool of yourself, don't feel that you've done a permanent job.
--Erwin T. Randall
What kind of friends do we have? Are they people who complain a lot? Are they people who laugh at us or put others down?
The kind of people we want to be will decide what kind of friends we have. If we want to feel sorry for ourselves, we will choose friends who will tell us how rotten their lives are. If we want to think we're better than others, we will hang around people who laugh at others' mistakes.
But if we want to be the best we can be, we will pick friends who see the good in life, people who will encourage us to be ourselves and who will help us try harder at things that are difficult for us.
How can I be a better friend today?
You are reading from the book:
Today's Gift by Anonymous
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Post by majestyjo on Jun 22, 2017 14:23:24 GMT -5
June 22
A house is no home unless it contains food and fire for the mind as well as for the body.
-- Margaret Fuller
No matter how full our social and professional lives are we all need a base, a place where we are at home. Whether it's a studio apartment furnished from secondhand stores and garage sales or a luxurious country retreat, one of our basic human urges is the need to make a home. And our spiritual fulfillment asks that our home nourish us.
Look around: in our choices for our home we reveal what nourishes and inspires us. Perhaps we opt for the comfortable and well-used: old books, chairs that speak more to the back and bottom than to the eye. Perhaps we are restless and change the way our homes look frequently. We all use our homes to express our desires.
Are we neglecting "food and fire for the mind"? Sometimes we misinterpret inertia as comfort. Are we giving our minds a wholesome environment?
Fuel for my spirit is never wholly consumed. Today, I will look to my supply.
You are reading from the book:
The Promise of a New Day by Karen Casey and Martha Vanceburg
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Post by majestyjo on Jun 23, 2017 20:36:21 GMT -5
June 23
You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years of trying to get other people interested in you.
--Dale Carnegie
We wanted friends, but our addiction wanted all our attention. We had no time to be close to others.
Well, stand aside addiction! The program has taught us that others are important. Our purpose is to help others. People have become what's important to us.
Now we listen to others. We help them do what they want to do, not what we want them to do. We help people instead of use them. Friendship is now a way of life. And another promise of the program becomes a part of us.
Prayer for the Day
Higher Power, help me to know that I'm here to help others, not just myself. Through others, I find myself.
Today's Action
Today I'll help someone in the way he or she wants to be helped.
You are reading from the book:
Keep It Simple by Anonymous
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Post by majestyjo on Jun 24, 2017 22:08:31 GMT -5
June 24
Practice being spontaneous. Practice having fun.
The joy of recovery is that we finally get to experiment. We get to learn new behaviors, and we don't have to do them perfectly. We only need to find a way that works for us. We even have fun experimenting, learning what we like, and how to do what we like.
Many of us have gotten into a rut with rigidity, martyrdom, and deprivation. We may hold ourselves in check so tightly that we wouldn't allow ourselves to try something fun anyway.
We can let ourselves go a little now and then. We can loosen up a bit. We don't have to be so stiff and rigid, so frightened about being who we are. Take some risks. Then, take another risk. Pick out a movie and then call a friend and invite him or her to go along. If that person says no, try someone else, or try again another time.
Decide to try something, and then go through with it. Go once. Go twice. Practice having fun until fun becomes fun.
Today, I will do something just for fun. I will practice having fun until I actually enjoy it.
You are reading from the book:
The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie
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Post by majestyjo on Jun 25, 2017 11:52:44 GMT -5
June 25
The cost of a thing is the amount of what I will call life, which is required to be exchanged for it, immediately or in the long run.
--Henry David Thoreau
Consider the young man who was doing great in his high school studies, then suddenly started to fall behind. One day, a teacher pulled the young man aside and asked him what happened. The student told him that he had asked his father for a car, and the father told him that if he earned the money, he could have one. The student, being industrious and hard working, went out, got a job, saved the money, and bought the car. But then the car needed insurance, gas, and maintenance, so the student kept the job to keep up the car. The job took up more and more of his time, until finally he began to fall behind in his studies.
"Why don't you just get rid of the car?" asked the teacher.
"Get rid of the car?" came the reply. "How would I get to my job?"
How often we feel that if we just get that new car, that new boyfriend or girlfriend, that promotion, or the condo in the good neighborhood, we will find happiness and contentment - only to discover that the thing just brings with it more pain, more costs, and more bother than it's worth. The new sports car runs only half the time, the new partner needs more care than your dog, the promotion eats up your weekends, and the new condo won't allow pets.
Things don't bring true happiness. Instead, they often sap your strength and leave you emptier than you were before. Think about the true cost of a thing before you pursue it in time, lifestyle changes, energy, maintenance and money. Can you really afford the amount of life that the thing will take from you in return for the happiness it brings? Are you willing to pay the price?
God, help me be aware of the true cost of the things in my life.
You are reading from the book:
More Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie
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Post by majestyjo on Jun 26, 2017 20:14:34 GMT -5
June 26
Whatever you can do or dream you can do, begin it.
--Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe
Newcomer
I signed up to take a course in something I'm kind of interested in. I'm pretty anxious about it. I don't have the skills and experience that the other students have. I don't know if I can keep up with the work and still go to enough meetings. And even if I get through it, I doubt that I can afford to go further.
Sponsor
First, let me congratulate you for the courage and self-esteem it took for you to begin something new in recovery. Recovery is not an end in itself; as we frequently hear in meetings, it's a bridge back to life. Education is a path that beckons many recovering people. Taking just one step, like signing up for a course, furthers you on your journey.
At the same time, you'll want to take care to protect your recovery as you engage in new pursuits. Staying close to the program by going to regular and frequent meetings is still the top priority for anyone who doesn't want to relapse. The work we do to maintain our recovery is what makes everything else possible.
As for your doubts and fears, it's natural for them to come up. Instead of giving them too much attention, you can use this opportunity to calm and center yourself with meditation and to ask in prayer for help and courage in carrying out your Higher Power's will for you.
Today, I take a small step forward on my journey, without judging myself or my rate of progress.
You are reading from the book:
If You Want What We Have by Joan Larkin
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Post by majestyjo on Jun 27, 2017 20:14:26 GMT -5
June 27
Of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these, "It might have been."
--John Greenleaf Whittier
Unless we live in the now, we are in danger of suffering the agony of regret. We can't spend all our time thinking "life's not fair." We cannot afford to excuse everything with "what ifs?" We used those words constantly during the years we wasted on obeying compulsions we knew could destroy us.
We remember the years before recovery and accept them as object lessons of what it could be like again if we become careless or complacent. But we don't regret them. Regret only leads to depression and perhaps a return to active addiction.
We must stop dwelling on the impossibility of undoing the wrongs of yesterday. Instead, we must begin enjoying the "right things" that are now possible in recovery.
It is impossible to relive my past. I can only create a good past now by living this day the best way I can, so that tomorrow I can look back without having to say "It might have been."
You are reading from the book:
Easy Does It by Anonymous
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. I will be back looking for Lin and others.