GOOD TH0UGHTS FOR THE DAY

[majestyjo]

January 22

Fortuitous circumstances constitute the moulds that shape the majority of human lives.

~Augusta Evans

Being in the right place at the right time is how we generally explain our good fortune or the good fortune of a friend. But it's to our advantage to understand how we managed to be in the right place at just the right moment.

We have probably heard many times at meetings that God's timetable is not necessarily the same as our timetable. That events will happen as scheduled to fit a picture bigger than the picture encompassed by our egos. And frequently our patience wears thin because we aren't privy to God's timetable. But we can trust, today and always, that doors open on time. Opportunities are offered when we are ready for them. Nary a moment passes that doesn't invite us to both give and receive a special message--a particular lesson. We are always in God's care, and every circumstance of our lives is helping to mold the women we are meant to be.

I will take a long look at where I am today and be grateful for my place. It's right for me, now, and is preparing me for the adventure ahead.

Today's reading is from the book Each Day a New Beginning

[majestyjo]

January 23

A.A. Thought for the Day

One drink started a train of thought that became an obsession, and from then on, we couldn't stop drinking. We developed a mental compulsion to keep drinking until we got good and drunk. People generally make two mistakes about alcoholism. One mistake is that it can be cured by physical treatment only. The other mistake is that it can be cured by willpower only. Most alcoholics have tried both of these ways and have found that they don't work. But we members of A.A. have found a way to arrest alcoholism. Have I got over my obsession by following the A.A. program?
Meditation for the Day

I will try to be unruffled, no matter what happens. I will keep my emotions in check, although others about me are letting theirs go. I will keep calm in the face of disturbance, keep that deep, inner calm through all the experiences of the day. In the rush of work and worry, the deep, inner silence is necessary to keep me on an even keel. I must learn to take the calm with me into the most hurried days.
Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may be still and commune with God. I pray that I may learn patience, humility, and peace.

Today's reading is from the book Twenty-Four Hours a Day

[majestyjo]

January 24

Toughness is in the soul and spirit, not in muscles and an immature mind.

~Alex Karras

In our culture, being a man often means being tough, having sexual prowess, and not showing feelings. We realize in this life of recovery that those are silly and immature myths, even though we see them repeatedly on TV, on billboards, and in newspapers.

When we are told these things repeatedly, it makes an impact on us. So we need to hear from each other that this is not the way we wish to live. We don't admire these attitudes, and we don't believe the stories. Truly courageous men know themselves. They have been around enough to have depth to their souls, to let themselves love, and to feel the pain of life.

Today, I am grateful to know and share my feelings and to have genuine relationships with those I love.

Today's reading is from the book Touchstones

[majestyjo]

January 25

Setting Priorities

One of our slogans is "first things first." We cannot have or do everything; we must set our priorities and choose what means the most to us.

Each of us needs to spend quiet time searching the inner self to determine which people, which activities, which tasks are most important. The results may surprise us. We may find that we are spending too much time with someone we really do not enjoy, preparing complicated meals which no one needs, working at a job which we dislike in order to make more money to buy more things. Do we really need the things? Do they enrich our lives or are they merely impressive?

Because I am a compulsive overeater, abstinence is the most important thing in my life. Without it, I do not enjoy other people, I do not like myself, I do not work well. If abstinence does not come first, everything else suffers.

May I remember that abstinence is my number one priority.

Today's reading is from the book Food for Thought

[majestyjo]

January 26

I have often thought morality may perhaps consist solely in the courage of making a choice.

~Leon Blum

Sometimes, trying to do the right thing isn't easy because it isn't what we want to do. For instance, we may want to sneak a cookie to take to bed with us, or we may want to stay out late. But is that the right thing to do?

One way to tell is to think how we'll feel after we've done it. Will we be happy, or will we feel guilty because we know in our hearts it is wrong? On the other hand, how would we feel if we resisted the temptation? Perhaps we'd feel great because we'd know in our hearts we'd done the right thing. And don't we deserve to feel good about ourselves? Of course we do!

How wonderful it is that our feelings can help us do the right thing when we're in doubt.

Will I have the courage to follow my true feelings today?

Today's reading is from the book Today's Gift, Daily Meditations for Families

[majestyjo]

January 27

Setting Our Own Course

We are powerless over other people's expectations of us. We cannot control what others want, what they expect, or what they want us to do and be.

We can control how we respond to other people's expectations.

During the course of any day, people may make demands on our time, talents, energy, money, and emotions. We do not have to say yes to every request. We do not have to feel guilty if we say no. And we do not have to allow the barrage of demands to control the course of our life.

We do not have to spend our life reacting to others and to the course they would prefer we took with our life.

We can set boundaries, firm limits on how far we shall go with others. We can trust and listen to ourselves. We can set goals and direction for our life. We can place value on ourselves.

We can own our power with people.

Buy some time. Think about what you want. Consider how responding to another's needs will affect the course of your life. We live or own life by not letting other people, their expectations, and their demands control the course of our life. We can let them have their demands and expectations; we can allow them to have their feelings. We can own our power to choose the path that is right for us.

Today, God, help me own my power by detaching, and peacefully choosing the course of action that is right for me. Help me know I can detach from the expectations and wants of others. Help me stop pleasing other people and start pleasing myself.

Today's reading is from the book The Language of Letting Go

[majestyjo]

January 28

We can never go back again, that much is certain.

~Daphne DuMaurier

Yesterday is gone, but its experiences will be reflected in those of today. We learned from both the good and the bad situations of yesterday. Where we travel today, likewise, will influence our direction tomorrow. We can't do over what has gone before, but we can positively incorporate all that life is offering us from this moment forth.

We are moving toward greater understanding of life's mysteries with each experience. As today unfolds, we can be moved by the adventures. What we experience is ours alone and will contribute to the unfolding of our special destiny. We move forward, only forward. The doors behind us are closed forever.

Facing what comes to us, with strength, is a gift from this program we share. Letting go of the yesterdays and the last years is another gift offered by this program. And trust that what we face along with what we let go will weave the pattern of our rightful unfolding—that is the ultimate gift given to us by this program.

I will take a long look at where I am today and be grateful for my place. It's right for me, now, and is preparing me for the adventure ahead.

Today's reading is from the book Each Day a New Beginning

[majestyjo]

January 29

A.A. Thought for the Day

Now we can take an inventory of the good things that have come to us through A.A. To begin with, we're sober today. That's the biggest asset on any alcoholic's books. Sobriety to us is like goodwill in business. Everything else depends on that. Most of us have jobs which we owe to our sobriety. We know we couldn't hold these jobs if we were drinking, so our jobs depend on our sobriety. Most of us have wives or husbands and children, which we either had lost or might have lost, if we hadn't stopped drinking. We have friends in A.A., real friends who are always ready to help us. Do I realize that my job, my family, and my real friends are dependent upon my sobriety?
Meditation for the Day

I must trust God to the best of my ability. This lesson has to be learned. My doubts and fears continually drive me back into the wilderness. Doubts lead me astray, because I am not trusting God. I must trust God's love. It will never fail me, but I must learn not to fail it by my doubts and fears. We all have much to learn in turning out fear by faith. All our doubts arrest God's work through us. I must not doubt. I must believe in God and continually work at strengthening my faith.
Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may live the way God wants me to live. I pray that I may get into that stream of goodness in the world.

Today's reading is from the book Twenty-Four Hours a Day

[majestyjo]

January 30

A man who studieth revenge keeps his own wounds green.

~Francis Bacon

Where do we direct our energy? Are we spending time and thought on how we have been wronged? On the unfairness of life? Those who consume their resources in this way have few left for growth and development. Their wounds stay open for years, and they block the healing.

What will we need to set aside our resentments and hateful attitudes? Perhaps we have been passively waiting for the other guy to make amends. That only puts our enemies in charge of us. It would be better if we could say, "I am going to move on. The change that is needed for me to heal will come from within me. I will not put my happiness in another's hands." More than revenge, we want a life worth living—for ourselves and the ones we love. We can give our energies to that.

Lift from me the desire for revenge. Replace it with the fullness of a healed life.

Today's reading is from the book Touchstones

[majestyjo]

January 31

Values

What do I value most? What is number one in my life? What is at the center?

When I was overeating, I was the center. I was the biggest thing in my universe, and all else revolved around me. A frightening state of affairs, since egotism does not bring peace of mind or security. Self was most important to me, and that egotism was my downfall. When I fell off my high horse and hit bottom, I had nowhere to go except to something outside of myself.

As we compulsive overeaters take Step Two and come to believe that a Power greater than ourselves can restore us to sanity, then we begin to shift the center of our consciousness from ourselves to God. This is our only hope. As long as our weak selves are at the center, we cannot make real progress, either in controlling our addiction or in living useful lives.

When we hit bottom, we are humbled. When we are humbled, we are able to perceive and acknowledge that God is primary and that abstinence is our most important task. Values are sorted out and order brings inner peace and security.

You, Lord, are the center of my life.

Today's reading is from the book Food for Thought

[majestyjo]

February 1

The most useless day of all is that in which we have not laughed.

~Sebastian R. N. Champort

We are told that laughter is sunshine filling a room. And where there is laughter, there also is life. They say that people who laugh a lot live longer than do the sour-faced. When we laugh together, gratitude comes more easily, companionship thrives, and all praise is sincere. Laughter brings us joy that cannot be bought. Such joy is with us throughout each day. To hoard joy, to hide it away deep within us away from others, will make us lonely misers. We cannot buy or trade for joy, but we can give or receive it as a gift.

Laughter's joy celebrates the moment we are living right now. It is a gift we must share, or it will wither and die. Shared, it grows and thrives, and always returns to us when we need it most.

What can I find to laugh about right now?

Today's reading is from the book Today's Gift, Daily Meditations for Families

[majestyjo]

February 2

Twelve Step Programs

I was furious when I found myself at my first Al Anon meeting. It seemed so unfair that he had the problem and I had to go to a meeting. But by that time, I had nowhere left in the world to go with my pain. Now, I'm grateful for Al Anon and my codependency recovery. Al Anon keeps me on track; recovery has given me a life.

~Anonymous

There are many Twelve Step programs for codependents: Al Anon, Adult Children of Alcoholics, CoDa, Families Anonymous, Nar-Anon, and more. We have many choices about which kind of group is right for us and which particular group in that category meets our needs. Twelve Step groups for codependents are free, anonymous, and available in most communities. If there is not one that is right for us, we can start one.

Twelve Step groups for codependents are not about how we can help the other person; they're about how we can help ourselves grow and change. They can help us accept and deal with the ways codependency has affected us. They can help us get on track and stay there.

There is magic in Twelve Step programs. There is healing power in connecting with other recovering people. We access this healing power by working the Steps and by allowing them to work on us. The Twelve Steps are a formula for healing.

How long do we have to go to meetings? We go until we "get the program." We go until the program "gets us." Then we keep on going and growing.

Selecting a group and then attending regularly are important ways we can begin and continue to take care of ourselves. Actively participating in our recovery program by working the Steps is another.

I will be open to the healing power available to me from the Twelve Steps and a recovery program.

Today's reading is from the book The Language of Letting Go

[majestyjo]

February 3

Being alone and feeling vulnerable. Like two separate themes, these two parts of myself unite in my being and sow the seeds of my longing for unconditional love.

~Mary Casey

How easily we slip into self-doubt, fearing we're incapable or unlovable, perhaps both. How common for us to look into the faces of our friends and lovers in search of affirmation and love.

Our alienation from ourselves, from one another, from God's Spirit which exists everywhere causes our discontent. It is our discontent. When souls touch, love is born, love of self and love of the other. Our aloneness exists when we create barriers that keep us separate from our friends, our family. Only we can reach over or around the barriers to offer love, to receive love.

Recovery offers us the tools for loving, but we must dare to pick them up. Listening to others and sharing ourselves begins the process of loving. Risking to offer love before receiving it will free us from the continual search for love in the faces of others.

I won't wait to be loved today. I will love someone else, fully. I won't doubt that I, too, am loved. I will feel it. I will find unconditional love.

Today's reading is from the book Each Day a New Beginning

[majestyjo]

February 4

A.A. Thought for the Day

We should be free from alcohol for good. It's out of our hands and in the hands of God, so we don't need to worry about it or even think about it anymore. But if we haven't done this honestly and fully, the chances are that it will become our problem again. Since we don't trust God to take care of the problem for us, we reach out and take the problem back to ourselves. Then it's our problem again and we're in the same old mess we were in before. We're helpless again and we drink. Do I trust God to take care of the problem for me?
Meditation for the Day

No work is of value without preparation. Every spiritual work must have behind it much spiritual preparation. Cut short times of prayer and times of spiritual preparation and many hours of work may be profitless. From the point of view of God, one poor tool working all the time, but doing bad work because of lack of preparation, is of small value compared with the sharp, keen, perfect instrument working for only a short time, but that turns out perfect work because of long hours of spiritual preparation.
Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may spend more time alone with God. I pray that I may get more strength and joy from such times, so that they will add much to my work.

Today's reading is from the book Twenty-Four Hours a Day

[majestyjo]

February 5

As my fathers planted for me, so do I plant for my children.

~The Talmud

The first seeds of this spiritual program were planted years ago by men who also were desperately in need. Rather than restrict their attention to their own painful circumstances, they broke through to a new creative idea—it is in helping others that we help ourselves. They reached out eagerly to help fellow men and women in need. In the process, they carried the message to others and found new healing relationships for themselves. This program, which is saving our lives, is here because men before us were willing to reach out and pass it along.

We inherit countless resources and teachings from both our biological and our "foster" fathers in this program. The gift of a spiritually full life inspires and requires us to do as they did—pass it on. We keep the benefits of our recovery, not by holding on to them, but by planting new seeds from our harvest for those who come after us.

I will give freely of my time and resources because the giving enriches me.

Today's reading is from the book Touchstones

[majestyjo]

February 6

Changing

As we lose weight, we adjust to a new self. Part of the body we had is disappearing, and this can be frightening. As our physical appearance changes, others may react to us differently. Along with the physical changes come new attitudes and expectations. Though for years we may have wished to be rid of the fat, when it actually begins to go we may fear the change.

What is new and unknown is often frightening. We may have used food and fat to retreat from uncomfortable situations. We may have spent so much time eating that there was little left for anything else. We may have expected all our troubles to vanish with the excess pounds. Now we can no longer hide behind fat or kill time with food, and our troubles may very well still be with us. What do we do?

It takes courage to change, to become a new person. We may decide at age forty to learn to play tennis. That takes lots of courage. New activities, new attitudes, changes in relationships with others—all require courage.

Change is frightening, but it is also an adventure. We are not alone. We have Overeaters Anonymous. Others have gone through the same changes and can reassure us, one step at a time.

May I not be afraid to change.

Today's reading is from the book Food for Thought

[majestyjo]

February 7

Nothing is troublesome that we do willingly.

~Thomas Jefferson

Some of the necessary things we do are tiring and annoying. Many of these things we must do regardless of how we feel about them. Doing dishes day after day can be a tiresome job, but no matter how much we hate it, it must be done sooner or later. We might discover, if we look hard enough, how chores like this can actually be enjoyable, if we do them right. Perhaps dish washing is a time for listening to music and singing along, or an opportunity for conversation between family members as we help one another.

Our willingness to look for the hidden treasure and opportunities in tasks we might otherwise consider dreary will never fail to reward us.

What opportunity can I see in my next chore?

Today's reading is from the book Today's Gift, Daily Meditations for Families

[majestyjo]

February 8

Higher Power as a Source

I’ve learned I can take care of myself, and what I can’t do, God will do for me.

~Al Anon member

God, a Higher Power as we understand Him, is our source of guidance and positive change. This doesn’t mean we’re not responsible for ourselves. We are. But we aren’t in this alone.

Recovery is not a do it yourself project. We don’t have to become overly concerned about changing ourselves. We can do our part, relax, and trust that the changes we’ll experience will be right for us.

Recovery means we don’t have to look to other people as our source to meet our needs. They can help us, but they are not the source.

How long do we have to go to meetings? We go until we "get the program." We go until the program "gets us." Then we keep on going and growing.

As we learn to trust the recovery process, we start to understand that a relationship with our Higher Power is no substitute for relationships with people. We don’t need to hide behind religious beliefs or use our relationship with a Higher Power as an excuse to stop taking responsibility for ourselves and taking care of ourselves in relationships. But we can tap into and trust a Power greater than ourselves for the energy, wisdom, and guidance to do that.

Today, I will look to my Higher Power as a source for all my needs, including the changes I want to make in my recovery.

Today's reading is from the book The Language of Letting Go

[majestyjo]

February 9

Loving, like prayer, is a power as well as a process. It's curative. It is creative.

~Zona Gale

The expression of love softens us and the ones we love. It opens a channel between us. It invites an intimate response that closes the distance.

It feels good to express love, whether through a smile, a touch, or a prayer. It heightens our sense of being alive. Acknowledging another's presence means that we, too, are acknowledged. Each of us is familiar with feeling forgotten, unnoticed, or taken for granted, and recognition assures us all that we haven't been overlooked.

Knowing we are loved may be the key to our doing the things we fear. Love supports us to charge ahead, and we can support others to charge ahead. We know that if we fail, we have someone to turn to.

Love heals. It strengthens, making us courageous both when we receive it and when we give it. Knowing we are loved makes our existence special. It affirms that we count in another's life. We need to honor our friends by assuring them of their specialness, too.

I need others. I need to strengthen my supports, my connections to others for the security, even success, of each of us. I can express my love today, and assure my loved ones that they are needed. Then, they and I will surge ahead with new life.

Today's reading is from the book Each Day a New Beginning

[majestyjo]

February 10

A.A. Thought for the Day

In A.A. we must surrender, give up, admit that we're helpless. We surrender our lives to God and ask Him for help. When He knows that we're ready, He gives us by His grace the free gift of sobriety. And we can't take any credit for having stopped drinking, because we didn't do it by our own willpower. There's no place for pride or boasting. We can only be grateful to God for doing for us what we could never do for ourselves. Do I believe that God has made me a free gift of the strength to stay sober?
Meditation for the Day

I must work for God, with God, and through God's help. By helping to bring about a true fellowship of human beings, I am working for God. I am also working with God because this is the way God works, and He is with me when I am doing such work. I cannot do good work, however, without God's help. In the final analysis, it is through the grace of God that any real change in human personality takes place. I have to rely on God's power, and anything I accomplish is through His help.
Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may work for God and with God. I pray that I may be used to change human personalities through God's help.

Today's reading is from the book Twenty-Four Hours a Day