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Post by majestyjo on Feb 12, 2019 13:58:25 GMT -5
February 11
A controller doesn't trust his/her ability to live through the pain and chaos of life.
~Rita Mae Brown
It is very hard for most of us to see how controlling we are. We may feel uptight or careful, but we haven't seen it as controlling ourselves or controlling how people respond to us. We may be worried about a loved one's behavior or safety, but not realize our hovering over that person is a controlling activity. We may be keenly aware of other people's controlling behavior with us, but unaware we have equaled their control by monitoring them and trying to change their behavior.
What a moment of spiritual adventure it is to risk living through the pain! When we do not seek an escape or a quick fix but have patience with the process, new possibilities often do develop. We can only let go of our control—or turn it over to our Higher Power. And we will do it and forget, taking control back within minutes or within an hour. Then we let go again.
Today, I will submit to the insecurity of a changing universe and have faith that I can live through the process and grow.
Today's reading is from the book Touchstones
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Post by majestyjo on Feb 12, 2019 13:59:30 GMT -5
February 12
"Normal" Eating
The idea that we will one day be able to eat spontaneously, like normal people, is a delusion. We compulsive overeaters tend to think that once we lose our excess pounds, we can go back to "normal" eating. Not so.
It is our experience that once a compulsive overeater, always a compulsive overeater. There is no way we will ever be able to eat spontaneously without eventually getting into trouble. When we reach our desired weight, we continue to eat three measured meals a day with nothing in between, and we continue to avoid entirely our personal binge foods.
When we accept our permanent need to abstain, when we accept the fact that we can never return to what we thought was normal eating, then we can stop making irrational attempts at experimentation which always fail. By accepting our disease and learning to live with it, we become sane and free. We see that our new eating plan is really very normal. It was the old compulsive overeating habit which was abnormal in the extreme.
Thank you, Lord, for sanity.
Today's reading is from the book Food for Thought
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Post by caressa222 on Feb 15, 2019 20:31:08 GMT -5
February 13
There is no such thing as a long piece of work, except one that you dare not start.
~Charles Baudelaire
A big assignment can be scary to face. We may start to think that how we do on the assignment will determine if we're good or bad people. The more we think about it, the harder that task seems. The key to overcoming our negative feelings is to say to ourselves that we are capable of finishing our projects. We must say it over and over until we start believing it's true. Then we can attack the assignment with vitality and positive energy we didn't know we had.
We can make up our minds to do our best and accept that from ourselves. We say Edison was a genius, but our light bulbs still burn out regularly. Even Einstein was wrong once in a while, and he knew it, but that didn't stop him from trying.
When we feel afraid to start something because it seems too big a job, let's stop and think what the first step would be, and do each small step in its own time.
What can I start that I've been putting off?
Today's reading is from the book Today's Gift, Daily Meditations for Families
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Post by caressa222 on Feb 15, 2019 20:33:06 GMT -5
February 14
Valentine's Day
For children, Valentine's Day means candy hearts, silly cards, and excitement in the air.
How different Valentine's Day can be for us as adults. The Love Day can be a symbol that we have not yet gotten love to work for us as we would like.
Or it can be a symbol of something different, something better. We are in recovery now. We have begun the healing process. Our most painful relationships, we have learned, have assisted us on the journey to healing, even if they did little more than point out our own issues or show us what we don't want in our life.
We have started the journey of learning to love ourselves. We have started the process of opening our heart to love, real love that flows from us, to others, and back again. Do something loving for yourself. Do something loving and fun for your friends, for your children, or for anyone you choose.
It is the Love Day. Wherever we are in our healing process, we can have as much fun with it as we choose. Whatever our circumstances, we can be grateful that our heart is opening to love.
I will open myself to the love available to me from people, the Universe, and my Higher Power today. I will allow myself to give and receive the love I want today. I am grateful that my heart is healing, that I am learning to love.
Today's reading is from the book The Language of Letting Go
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Post by caressa222 on Feb 15, 2019 20:33:51 GMT -5
February 15
It is healthier to see the good points of others than to analyze our own bad ones.
~Francoise Sagan
Looking for the good in others is good for one's soul. Self-respect, self-love grows each time we openly acknowledge another's admirable qualities. Comparisons we make of ourselves with others, focusing on how we fail to measure up (another woman is prettier, thinner, more intelligent, has a better sense of humor, attracts people, and on and on) is a common experience. And we come away from the comparison feeling generally inadequate and unloving toward the other woman.
It is a spiritual truth that our love for and praise of others will improve our own self-image. It will rub off on us, so-to-speak. An improved self-image diminishes whatever bad qualities one has imagined.
Praise softens. Criticism hardens. We can become all that we want to become. We can draw the love of others to us as we more willingly offer love and praise. We have an opportunity to help one another as we help ourselves grow in the self-love that is so necessary to the successful living of each day.
I will see the good points in others today. And I will give praise.
Today's reading is from the book Each Day a New Beginning
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Post by majestyjo on Feb 16, 2019 11:25:25 GMT -5
February 16
A.A. Thought for the Day
By having quiet times each morning, we come to depend on God's help during the day, especially if we should be tempted to take a drink. And we can honestly thank Him each night for the strength He has given us. So our faith is strengthened by these quiet times of prayer. By listening to other members, by working with other alcoholics, by times of quiet meditation, our faith in God gradually becomes strong. Have I turned my drink problem entirely over to God, without reservations?
Meditation for the Day
It seems as though, when God wants to express to men what He is like, He makes a very beautiful character. Think of a personality as God's expression of character attributes. Be as fit an expression of Godlike character as you can. When the beauty of a person's character is impressed upon us, it leaves an image which in turn reflects through our own actions. So look for beauty of character in those around you.
Prayer for the Day
I pray that I may look at great souls until their beauty of character becomes a part of my soul. I pray that I may reflect this character in my own life.
Today's reading is from the book Twenty-Four Hours a Day
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Post by majestyjo on Feb 17, 2019 12:13:48 GMT -5
February 17
No sooner do we think we have assembled a comfortable life than we find a piece of ourselves that has no place to fit in.
~Gail Sheehy
We usually think of children going through stages. If we talk about a man going through a stage, there is usually a tone of a put down in it. But adults go through stages in their lives too. We have different drives and needs at 22 than we had at 16. Age 40 brings a different experience than 30. It would be sad to reach age 60 or 70 and have no more wisdom than we had twenty years earlier. An adult life crisis can come anytime. We may have grown out of a formerly comfortable job. Perhaps we feel new urgings for a more satisfactory relationship than we have settled for. >From our recovery experience we know that crisis can bring growth.
Courage is required of us from the cradle to the grave. Change continues throughout life With courage, we can face our crises and the changes that come, and eventually we find the gift of new growth.
Help me find courage enough to live this day and meet the challenges it brings.
Today's reading is from the book Touchstones
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Post by majestyjo on Feb 18, 2019 20:40:50 GMT -5
February 18
Each man with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.
~Mark Twain
What does it mean to be different? How does it feel? Is it okay to act or look or be different from everyone else at times? Sometimes, maybe even most of the time, it feels safer to blend into the crowd. We don't want to stick out like a sore thumb. But sometimes it's when we are different that we discover new things no one has ever thought of or done before.
We don't want to spend our whole lives doing only what others do. And there are times when we must take a stand if what others are doing is wrong. Perhaps it's good practice to try to do some little thing differently once in a while, to stand out from the crowd, just to get used to it. We might even like it. After all, if no one ever dares to be different, how would our world ever change for the better?
What little thing can I do to stand out from the crowd today?
Today's reading is from the book Today's Gift, Daily Meditations for Families
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Post by majestyjo on Feb 19, 2019 19:58:07 GMT -5
February 19
Removing the Victim
Don’t others see how much I’m hurting? Can’t they see I need help? Don’t they care?
The issue is not whether others see or care. The issue is whether we see and care about ourselves. Often, when we are pointing a finger at others, waiting for them to have compassion for us, it’s because we have not fully accepted our pain. We have not yet reached that point of caring about ourselves. We are hoping for awareness in another that we have not yet had.
It is our job to have compassion for ourselves. When we do, we have taken the first step toward removing ourselves as victims. We are on the way to self-responsibility, self-care, and change.
Today, I will not wait for others to see and care; I will take responsibility for being aware of my pain and problems, and caring about myself.
Today's reading is from the book The Language of Letting Go
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Post by majestyjo on Feb 20, 2019 14:23:13 GMT -5
February 20
True intimacy with another human being can only be experienced when you have found true peace within yourself.
~Angela L. Wozniak
Intimacy means disclosure—full expression of ourselves to another person. Nothing held back. All bared. There are risks, of course: rejection, criticism, perhaps ridicule. But the comfort we feel within is directly proportional to the peace we've come to know.
Each day we commit ourselves to recovery, we find a little more peace. Each conversation we have with our higher power brings us a little more security. Each time we turn our full attention to another person's needs, we feel our own burdens lightened.
Peace comes in stages. As we continue to accept our powerlessness, the depth of our peace increases. Turning more often to a power greater than ourselves eases our resistance to whatever condition prevails. Forgiving ourselves and others, daily, heightens our appreciation of all life and enhances our humility. Therein lies peace.
We each are a necessary part of the creative spirit prevailing in this world. The details of our lives are well in hand. We can be at peace. Who we are is who we need to be.
Intimacy lets me help someone else also live a full and peace-filled life. I will reach out to someone today.
Today's reading is from the book Each Day a New Beginning
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Post by majestyjo on Feb 21, 2019 18:10:29 GMT -5
February 21
A.A. Thought for the Day
A.A. also helps us to hang onto sobriety. By having regular meetings so that we can associate with other alcoholics who have come through that same door in the wall, by encouraging us to tell the story of our own sad experiences with alcohol, and by showing us how to help other alcoholics, A.A. keeps us sober. Our attitude toward life changes from one of pride and selfishness to one of humility and gratitude. Am I going to step back through that door in the wall to my old helpless, hopeless, drunken life?
Meditation for the Day
Withdraw into the calm of communion with God. Rest in that calm and peace. When the soul finds its home of rest in God, then it is that real life begins. Only when you are calm and serene can you do good work. Emotional upsets make you useless. The eternal life is calmness and when you enter into that, then you live as an eternal being. Calmness is based on complete trust in God. Nothing in this world can separate you from the love of God.
Prayer for the Day
I pray that I may wear the world like a loose garment. I pray that I may keep serene at the center of my being.
Today's reading is from the book Twenty-Four Hours a Day
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Post by majestyjo on Feb 22, 2019 22:14:31 GMT -5
February 22
Oh, that one could learn to learn in time!
~Enrique Solari
A mark of genuine change, after the pleasure of newfound growth, may be the regret a man feels that he didn't learn sooner. When we learn something new, we see how it could have made our life better at an earlier time. We regret being stubborn, immature, or impulsive. Now we see our mistakes in a new light and it hurts. This is one of the pains of change. Some people turn away from growth because they refuse to tolerate the pain of honest hindsight.
We need to face these regrets, but not indulge in them. We take a bow to the past and move on to live in the only place we can—the present. We can acknowledge our guilt and remorse and then turn them over to the care of God. We can't change the past, but we can learn from it. Healthy recovery means an everlighter load of regrets. Getting stuck in guilt over past deeds only repeats our mistakes by failing to use our learning today.
May I acknowledge and let go of my griefs and regrets so I can attend to life here and now.
Today's reading is from the book Touchstones
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Post by majestyjo on Feb 24, 2019 16:48:27 GMT -5
February 23
I want, by understanding myself, to understand others.
~Katherine Mansfield
Growing up to be the best people we can be is a lifelong process. As teenagers, we may have thought that twenty-one would be a magic year for us because then we would become adults. We'd be grown up and able to handle any problems that came along, if any did.
But the older we get, the more we realize that growing up is a process that never ends. We are always becoming the people we are capable of being. We're always learning new things about ourselves, and in that process, we're always coming to new understandings about other people and how we can get along with them.
How wonderful that life always offers us room to grow! It makes new discoveries possible all through our lives, and ensures us that we will always have something to offer.
What discovery have I made just today?
Today's reading is from the book Today's Gift, Daily Meditations for Families
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Post by majestyjo on Feb 24, 2019 16:49:18 GMT -5
February 24
Considering Commitment
Pay attention to your commitments.
While many of us fear committing, it’s good to weigh the cost of any commitment we are considering. We need to feel consistently positive that it’s an appropriate commitment for us.
Many of us have a history of jumping—leaping headfirst—into commitments without weighing the cost and the possible consequences of that particular commitment. When we get in, we find that we do not really want to commit, and feel trapped.
Some of us may become afraid of losing out on a particular opportunity if we don’t commit. It is true that we will lose out on certain opportunities if we are unwilling to commit. We still need to weigh the commitment. We still need to become clear about whether that commitment seems right for us. If it isn’t, we need to be direct and honest with others and ourselves.
Be patient. Do some soul searching. Wait for a clear answer. We need to make our commitments not in urgency or panic but in quiet confidence that what we are committing to is right for us.
If something within says no, find the courage to trust that voice.
This is not our last chance. It is not the only opportunity we’ll ever have. Don’t panic. We don’t have to commit to what isn’t right for us, even if we try to tell ourselves it should be right for us and we should commit.
Often, we can trust our intuitive sense more than we can trust our intellect about commitments.
In the excitement of making a commitment and beginning, we may overlook the realities of the middle. That is what we need to consider.
We don’t have to commit out of urgency, impulsivity, or fear. We are entitled to ask, Will this be good for me? We are entitled to ask if this commitment feels right.
Today, God, guide me in making my commitments. Help me say yes to what is in my highest good, and no to what isn’t. I will give serious consideration before I commit myself to any activity or person. I will take the time to consider if the commitment is really what I want.
Today's reading is from the book The Language of Letting Go
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Post by caressa222 on Mar 1, 2019 23:34:06 GMT -5
February 25
Reared as we were in a youth and beauty oriented society, we measured ourselves by our ornamental value. ~Janet Harris
Rare is the woman who doesn't long for a svelte body, firm breasts, pretty teeth, a smooth complexion. Rare is the woman who feels content, truly satisfied with her total person. We are often torn between wanting to be noticed and yet not wanting eyes to gaze upon us.
We are all that we need to be today, at this moment. And we have an inner beauty, each of us, that is our real blessing in the lives of others. Our inner beauty will shine forth if we invite it to do so. Whatever our outer appearance, it doesn't gently touch or bring relief where suffering is—like our words which come from the heart, the home of our inner beauty.
Perhaps a better mirror for reflecting our true beauty is the presence or absence of friends in our lives. We each have known stunning women who seemed to cast only cold glances our way and handsome men who arrogantly belittled others. It's our inner beauty that is valued by others. The surprise in store for each of us is discovering that the glow of our inner beauty transforms our outer appearance too.
My beauty today will be enhanced by my gentle attention to the other people sharing my experiences.
Today's reading is from the book Each Day a New Beginning
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Post by caressa222 on Mar 1, 2019 23:35:08 GMT -5
February 26
A.A. Thought for the Day
Strength comes from the fellowship you find when you come into A.A. Just being with men and women who have found the way out gives you a feeling of security. You listen to the speakers, you talk with other members, and you absorb the atmosphere of confidence and hope that you find in the place. Am I receiving strength from the fellowship with other A.A. members?
Meditation for the Day
God is with you, to bless and help you. His spirit is all around you. Waver not in your faith or in your prayers. All power is the Lord's. Say that to yourself often and steadily. Say it until your heart sings with joy for the safety and personal power that it means to you. Say it until the very force of the utterance drives back and puts to naught all the evils against you. Use it as a battle cry. All power is the Lord's. Then you will pass on to victory over all your sins and temptations, and you will begin to live a victorious life.
Prayer for the Day
I pray that with strength from God I may lead an abundant life. I pray that I may lead a life of victory.
Today's reading is from the book Twenty-Four Hours a Day
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Post by caressa222 on Mar 1, 2019 23:35:59 GMT -5
February 27
Let no one be deluded that a knowledge of the path can substitute for putting one foot in front of the other.
~M. C. Richards
Recovering men know this path is not always easy. We usually talk about the benefits of recovery and the many promises of the program. Today, in our fellowship, we talk of the challenges we must face in order to recover. Honesty may be the greatest challenge. It is frightening to be honest with ourselves about things we have never really admitted or faced before.
Sometimes we have new and confusing feelings and think something must be wrong with us. But we may be just experiencing the logical outcome of our earlier commitment to be honest. No one recovers by thinking about it. We must actively take each Step and meet the challenges presented. We are not alone with our difficulties. We are part of a large movement of men committed to recovery, and this quiet moment is one way in which we are simply putting one foot in front of the other.
Today, I pray for the courage to remain faithful when the fears and pains of my transformation are overwhelming.
Today's reading is from the book Touchstones
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Post by caressa222 on Mar 1, 2019 23:36:45 GMT -5
February 28
It feels so good to cry…
~Susan Cygnet
Some of us were taught that it's bad to express our feelings directly—crying, wailing, jumping up and down for joy—that it's good manners to talk softly, slowly, and politely and to sit still.
But what happens to our feelings when we sit still? If they don't get expressed, they must be caught inside our bodies. Trapped feelings are like birds in a cage, or a rabbit in a trap—they try to get out any way they can. They peck on our heads and give us headaches. They scratch at our stomachs and make us hurt.
We must let them out. We must laugh and cry. Then our bodies will be happy, and our feelings will curl up in our laps like happy puppies.
Am I ignoring the physical symptoms of trapped feelings?
Today's reading is from the book Today's Gift, Daily Meditations for Families
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Post by caressa222 on Mar 1, 2019 23:38:06 GMT -5
March 1
Appreciating Ourselves
We are the greatest things that will ever happen to us. Believe it. It makes life much easier.
~Codependent No More
It is time to stop this nonsense of running around picking on ourselves.
We may have walked through much of our life apologizing for ourselves either directly or indirectly—feeling less valuable than others, believing that they know better than we do, and believing that somehow others are meant to be here and we are not.
We have a right to be here.
We have a right to be ourselves.
We are here. There is a purpose, a reason, and an intention for our life. We do not have to apologize for being here or being who we are.
We are good enough, and deserving.
Others do not have our magic. We have our magic. It is in us.
It doesn’t matter what we’ve done in our past. We all have a past, woven with mistakes, successes, and learning experiences. We have a right to our past. It is ours. It has worked to shape and form us. As we progress on this journey, we shall see how each of our experiences will be turned around and used for good.
We have already spent too much time being ashamed, being apologetic, and doubting the beauty of ourselves. Be done with it. Let it go. It is an unnecessary burden. Others have rights, but so do we. We are neither less than nor more than. We are equal. We are who we are. That is whom we were created and intended to be.
That, my friend, is a wonderful gift.
God, help me own my power to love and appreciate myself. Help me give myself validity instead of looking to others to do that.
Today's reading is from the book The Language of Letting Go
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Post by majestyjo on Mar 2, 2019 7:30:19 GMT -5
March 2
When I slow down long enough to smell the roses, I usually see the beauty and all else that is ours to share.
~Morgan Jennings
We overlook so many joys, so many hidden treasures, when we hurry from place to place, person to person, experience to experience, with little attention anywhere. All that matters passes before us now, at this moment. And assuredly, we will not pass this way again.
It has been said the greatest gift we can give one another is rapt attention; additionally, living life fully attentive to the breezes, the colors, the sorrows and the thrills as well, is the most prayerful response any of us can make in this life. Nothing more is asked of us. Nothing less is expected.
We have just this one life to live, and each day is a blessing. Even the trials we shall understand as blessings in the months, the years ahead, as we can see now how the painful moments of the past played their part. Our attitude toward the lessons life has offered makes all the difference in the world.
I will look closely at everything in my path today. The women and children, the trees and squirrels, the silent neighbors. I will never see them again as I see them today. I will be at attention.
Today's reading is from the book Each Day a New Beginning
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. I will be back looking for Lin and others.