Saturday Chip 1/15 Trust vs Distrust

[lildee]

Filling in for Misty here.

Today I chose trust vs distrust.

Something that is praying on my mind I guess. Maybe feeling a little guilty about it.

Hubby has been clean now for almost a year and a half. The other night he called and said that he would be home late. He was stuck in traffic. (Near where he used to score.) The hours passed. The ugly head of distrust reared itself. Why should I doubt his sobriety? That is his choice. Nevertheless those awful pangs of distrust were there. Maybe because I knew where he was, maybe because I know he is going through a stressful period at work right now. Maybe because I haven't fully developed complete trust in him yet. Possibly a combonation of all of them. Progress for me in this area is slow in coming. On most days I trust him without a second thought, but it seems like when given the opportunity God reminds me that my trust isn't 100%. Something to work on.

Are you trusting or distrustful ?

[dg]

Good chip Lildee.
Trusting is hard to rebuild. I have been thinking alot about trust lately. My hubby will be home next month and its going to be hard to know where to start. He has been sending me "letting go" stuff from his booklets he has been reading. He wants me to try hard at "letting go" and moving on to a new level.Trying to trust him again is one of that level. All I can say is that Trust is basically a ODAT thing and you have to just learn to live for the here and now not the tomorrows and future.

[lildee]

Dg- How true trust can be an ODAT thing but even more so it can be a specific event thing. Thanks for the reply and the wisdom.

Love Arlene

[jimmy62]

Hi Lildee

I remember when I first came in to AA I didn't trust anybody including myself most of all!! I still do it too I think I WILL NOT DO what ever but then 2 seconds later I do it anyway. I honestly thought I had a handle on that but I guess I still have to work on it one day at a time like the rest of my program.

Have another good 24 hours everybody!!

LOve&HUgs

Jimmy6

[Lin]

Thanks for pulling a chip today Lildee,

Trust really does have to be rebuilt. I used to trust way too many people and the wrong ones. I got burned so many times.

Today i an cautious who I trust. I trust myself and my recovery freinds..most of them. I trust my Higher Power and msot of my "regular" freinds. I trust most of my co-workers. The MOST has to do with peole who have stabbed my back a few tiems. those peole i watch what I say and do around them now and don't extent myself to the point of vulnerability.

DG...since he wants you to reamember the LETTING GO...he MIGHt be assuming all will be forgiven when he returns. I waited and waited for an apology when mind first came home form 93 day rehab. I nevr got it. So i asked hi8m one day when he thougth he
d be getting to the AMENDS step and he said he had already done that one. So he assumed that by treating me differently his actions were all he needed to make his amends. I let it go. If I had not, I'd ahve been waiting for that apology forever. An apology does nto have to ba a part of an amends.

THANKS for the replies!

LIN

[lildee]

Dear Jimmy - All 12 Step program are a daily investment. When we work at it , we can reap the rewards with interest. Thanks for stopping by.

Dearest Lin- Caution is a protective mechanism that we all use when we have been hurt or are afraid. Turning it over to God and offering forgiveness has worked wonders for me. People who I never thought I would speak to again have become faithful friends once again.
Thanks for stopping by.

Love and God Bless
Arlene

[caressa]

Trust is a something that I had to earn. For the most part, I am quite trusitng of others until they prove themselves as untrustworthy. When that happens, I have trouble with the forgiveness and the letting go of the disappointment and dillusionment of having been betrayed.

Trust in my Higher Power has grown over the years. Sometimes I think he has more trust in me than I have in myself.

[SaraLee]

Trusting myself feels more comfortable every day and I thank God for giving me the wisdom of the program to learn how to trust and grace in the form of opportunity to do so without judgement or fear.
SaraLee

[preciouschihua]

Wow a tough one
Trust/Distrust
I have a lot of trouble with this one these days
more distrusting than trust
the only one I seem to be able to trust is myself, and
my dog.
suzanne

[Tiger]

Lin writes:

I waited and waited for an apology when mind first came home form 93 day rehab. I nevr got it. So i asked hi8m one day when he thougth he
d be getting to the AMENDS step and he said he had already done that one. So he assumed that by treating me differently his actions were all he needed to make his amends. I let it go. If I had not, I'd ahve been waiting for that apology forever. An apology does nto have to ba a part of an amends.

Lin, your right in that we can apologize more by our "actions" than by our mouth. However the *real* ammends are in steps 8 and 9....perhaps he's not there yet?

I don't know how long he is sober but be patient......when he reaches those steps the *real* ammends should begin.

Tiger

[Misty]

I am sooooo glad I could trust lildee aka Arlene to do the chip of
the day for me. I am so glad to see all the variety of comments on this chip. My chip says trust and suspicious. I get suspicious of the people I don't trust so that is how it works for me! Thanks everyone for stopping by and talking about the chip of the day.
Grateful Hugs---Mistyeve