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Post by Misty on Feb 9, 2005 23:08:40 GMT -5
I ran across a quote from Alice Roosevelt that says "If you haven't
got anything nice to say about any one come sit next to me" I can sure remember when I had nothing nice to say about anyone. I would tear them down to make myself feel
better. Now I try to praise God and other people to make myself feel better. Do you praise or do you criticize? Please let me know!
Thanks----Mistyeve
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Post by johnl on Feb 9, 2005 23:14:02 GMT -5
I praise God, as Misty says critizing others is just away to make myself feel better.
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Post by lildee on Feb 10, 2005 0:29:59 GMT -5
Good Morning Mistyeve,
Hope you're feeling better !
Praise /Criticize
Praise the God of my choice... daily !!!
Praise to others is like a pat on the back, or a great big hug. It makes both you and your recipient feel good. It is a self - esteem builder.
Critiscism is tricky. It has to be constructive in nature. There can be no underlying motivation for your Criticisim.
For example:- "You have a speck of dirt on your face ." is Ok but not
"My goodness aren't you wearing a ton of makeup."
Your criticism has to be helpful to the other person. Like the one I laid on my dentist. "Doc you need a little mouthwash." Gee a dentist with bad breath !!! Not to good for his business. LOL
Praise is always better but there are times when construtive criticism is benificial.
Love & God Bless,
Arlene
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Post by Misty on Feb 10, 2005 4:20:47 GMT -5
Dear John----In my opinion when you praise God you are building a conscious contact with him and that can really help you to work the 11th step a lot easier. Thanks for stopping by!-----Mistyeve
Dear Arlene---Wow! It is hard enough for me to force myself to go to the dentist but to go to a dentist with bad breath???? Ahhhh!
Thanks for stopping by!----Mistyeve
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Post by Lin on Feb 10, 2005 5:47:48 GMT -5
It's just as easy and as much effort to praise as it is to criticize. I had enough criticism aimed at me in my life for several folks. Misty made a good point..perhaps the ones doing the criticizing were trying to make themselves look good to be putting me down. I guess it was like a power thing. It doesnt make it hurt any less but it does help to understand a WHY. Years and years of loving folks who continually hurt me with their words and actions....makes you want to ask WHAT HAVE I DONE TO DESERVE THIS? I guess it's part of the disease.
Praise GOD, praise others...even for small things.
it makes me feel good and i am sure it does the recipient.
LIN
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Post by Misty on Feb 10, 2005 8:42:02 GMT -5
Dear Lin----Understanding why people do the things they do does help me to deal with them in a kinder way. I was told early on in
my program to not get into "whys"
just get into being "wise" The old
timers really came up with some easy to remember & understand stuff
Thanks for stopping by!---Mistyeve
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Post by Lin on Feb 10, 2005 17:18:18 GMT -5
Thanks so much for that idea Misty...not getting into the WHYS but into the WISE . i love it!
LIN
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Post by caressa on Feb 10, 2005 20:21:31 GMT -5
A firm believer in offering praise when it is due and a firm believer in not rewarding behavior that is not. I believe also that a bit of constructive criticism is good if done in the right way.
My response Lildee would have been: "Don't you ever wash your face? or "Do you always go around looking like that?," or some other equally nasty thing when I was using. I would probably say, "Excuse me, I hope you don't mind me saying this, "But you seem to have a mark on your face." I did this once, only to find out it was a birth mark, yet I know myself, that if I went around with something on my person, I would sure want to be told about it. I can remember times when people didn't, and I wish they had told me to save me the embarrassment. On Tuesday night, I had taken my sweater off when I came home from having dinner with a friend, put it back on to go to bridge. When I got there, the sweater was inside out. A fellow member told me it was inside out, but told me not to change it. I changed it, I figure that my God is bigger than a sweater turned inside out and my forgetfulness.
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Post by Misty on Feb 10, 2005 22:28:17 GMT -5
Hey There Lin----Glad ya liked that! It is an oldie but a goodie!
LOL thanks for letting me know ya
could use that. sincerely-Mistyeve
Dear Caressa---Its not what ya say but how ya say it!!! Thanks for stopping by----Mistyeve
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. I will be back looking for Lin and others.