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Post by Misty on Jun 20, 2005 20:30:32 GMT -5
I am an honest person most of the time. I am dishonest by NOT saying anything. I have heard that called truth by omission. I was pissed off that a man I was dating
would rather go fishing then be with me. I said nothing except enjoy your trip. I wanted to cuss him out but instead I said nothing so that would be an example of truth by omission. Are you honest
or dishonest? Please let me know!
Thanks---Mistyeve
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Post by Lin on Jun 21, 2005 3:12:38 GMT -5
being pisssed off because somebody wants to go fishing? I'd love it if mine woudl want to go fishing! He spends way too much time jsut sitting at home watching TV. We each need some space. We need some time to ourselves to explore hobbies and interests. And if I am mad because he wants to go fishing, then I am being selfish and wanting to smother him. Not me. Not at all. If i was honest with MYSELF, I'd se that I was being selfish.
Honesty is not jsut with others. its with myself and with my HP. It is with the IRS, with my doctors, with my freinds and family. If i dont believe somethig to be ther truth, i dont say it. When I lead a meeting at WW, I sing the praises of how it worked for ME. I could sell Tupperware or pampered Chef because I'm sold on them. I could be honest in sharing how much I enjoy those produces. But I'm not sold on some of the other products they sell door to door from catalogs or at parties, so I would not be able to sell them. I'd have to be honest.. "this makeup give me allergic reactions..etc"
If my reply to somebody is to keep from hurting their feelings, I do so very tactfully and carefully. If a heavy freind asks me if a certain outfit looks good on them and I dont think it does, I say something like..I like the blue one better. Or the color is great on you, but I'm not so sure about the style. So i will be honest, but not so brutally honest it will hurt somebody's feelings.
LIN
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Post by Misty on Jun 21, 2005 6:15:59 GMT -5
Dear Lin----I think when you are married and see your mate 24/7 then you are extremely happy when they get a hobby instead of laying
around watching tv. I think it is a lot different when ya only get to see the person once a week on a weekend and you have a lot of stuff that ya want to do together and they choose fishing over being
with you. I don't want to feel like I am 2nd best or a chore to be with. I guess that would be my
pride but that is a whole other chip!!! LOL Thanks for stopping
by to honestly share----Mistyeve
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Post by caressa on Jun 21, 2005 9:07:14 GMT -5
Self-honesty was something that was difficult for me because I stuffed feeling from a very early age.
It helped me to see what they meant in the Big Book (p. 62) about being selfish and self-centered and all the other thing alcoholics can lay claim too. For me it was more justification and reationalizaiton than honesty, and I learned that I had to be honest with me before I could be truly honest with someone else.
I have also learned that omission if it is going to hurt someone's feelings is best. I don't have to tell everything I know, sometimes it is best not to. It is my perspective and that too can differ from how others see things. Again, for me, it is all about motive and intent. What is for the good of the whole.
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Post by lildee on Jun 21, 2005 13:45:50 GMT -5
Afternoon Mistyeve,
Honest /dishonest
I would have to say honest, which I have learned to curb as not to hurt anyone. Being overly honest can do more damage than good. Like telling someone that they are fat , or their face is full of pimples. It would only do more harm than good. It is a matter of being tactful and considerate of another's feelings. How would I feel if someone said these things to me? "Do unto other's as you would have done unto you."
Love & God Bless
Arlene
PS as for your fishing "incident" looking within yourself will give you the answers you seek. What is your part in the situation?
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Post by Misty on Jun 21, 2005 22:13:41 GMT -5
Dear Arlene----Good to hear from ya Honey!!! My honest view of the fishing incident is that the man in question is too much of a coward to tell me he wants to end the relationship so he blows me off and goes fishing knowing that it will piss me off to where I don't want to ever see him again.
It is the lazy man's way to break off the relationship. He was only in heat and I thought he was in love. I honestly need to learn the differce between the 2!!! Was that too much information??? Thanks for stopping by!---Mistyeve
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Post by Misty on Jun 21, 2005 22:17:29 GMT -5
Dear Caressa----Motive and Intent are 2 real good things to keep in mind when I am trying to decide just how honest I should be in a
situation. Thanks for stopping by! Something to think about----
Mistyeve
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. I will be back looking for Lin and others.