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Post by Misty on Jul 16, 2005 22:58:04 GMT -5
I am having a hard time accepting
the fact that I am gonna be totally alone and on my own real soon. It is exciting and very scarey too. Are you accepting or do you feel defiant??
Please let me know! Thanks!!!
Mistyeve
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Post by Lin on Jul 17, 2005 4:30:01 GMT -5
Nothing wrogn with totally alone and on your own. taht's called INDEPENDENCE! That's called SEFL RELIANT! You will be fine. I love my hubby of 37 years, but there are times, when I think to myself, how nice it woudl be to not have to answer to anyboeyw where I am giong or to get "permission" to do things. I'm alot more independent when it come to that now. But last fall when he was overdosing all the time and I bought my dres for his funeral, I thougth to myself. After he's killed himself I will be able to be all alone. no more men for ME! But luckily he got help and stopped the pills.
acceptance/defiance? I always thogth acceptance meant i had to approve of somethig or liek it, condone it. Not so. To accept just means I let it happen that way and not try to change soemthing that's not mine to change. I jsut accept that this is how this situation or person is. I dont have to like it, but I also dont have to let it make me CRAZY anymore.
Accept the facts as they are, do what I can change as far as MY PART in it, which is usually my attitude toward it all, and then MOVE ON.
Acceptance has been very freeing to me. It has helped me see my situation and my life as not as bad as I thought. It has allowed me to stay married even when I was ready to throw inthe towel on it all. It has allowed me to find peace and happiness.
LINDA
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Post by Misty on Jul 17, 2005 5:10:25 GMT -5
Dear Lin----Thanks for those words of wisdom. I find them to be very soothing and calming. I am so glad
you could stop by today! Thanks so much!----Mistyeve
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Post by lildee on Jul 17, 2005 7:28:31 GMT -5
Dearest Mistyeve,
Hate to use a trite old slogan but "been there, done that." For me leaving my ex was the best thing that could ever happen .... I wasn't a punching bag anymore. I was able to move on to new and better things. New hubby, new career, new life.
Acceptance/Defiance
Acceptance is easy when things are rolling along smoothly. You don't have to think about it . You just go with the flow. When there are bumps in the road learning to accept them makes life a lot easier. Acceptance doesn't mean that I agree with the situation it just means that it is not in my control. Accepting the fact that I am the wife of an addict has changed my life. He is what he is and it is out out my control what he does. The defiance arises when I try to control or manipulate a situation. The I want to be in charge syndrome, or I know better. Defiance for me only leads to anger, guilt, and resentments. Not a good place to be. Accepting things as they come gives me the calmness and peace I need in my world.
Love & God Bless
Arlene
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Post by Misty on Jul 17, 2005 21:25:19 GMT -5
My Very Dear Arlene---I know with my head that your talking sensible logical stuff. My heart is breaking about 25 years being flushed down the toilet. I know I will go on to bigger and better things but right now I am very sad
and find this whole thing freaking
unacceptable. Oh well thanks for stopping by-----Mistyeve
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Post by dg on Jul 18, 2005 16:18:07 GMT -5
Hey Misty, Maybe the HP has a better plan for you than what you have had over the years with this hubby? hmm?  ___*********************** Day late... Acceptance in knowing that my life is still going to be having to get used to the fact that I HAVE to live one day at a time with my A in my life. Its all for good because as long as we both work at our "daily" steps and remind our self that it isn't easy to do and it doesn't come without the ups and down of all the emotions that goes with it. |
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Post by Misty on Jul 18, 2005 22:05:37 GMT -5
My Very Dear DG----Thanks so much for stopping by! I sure hope the Higher Power has some good plans for me. I could really use them about now!!! Mistyeve
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~With Peace & Love, dg~ 8*)[/b][/size]
. I will be back looking for Lin and others.