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Post by ~graced~ on Aug 19, 2005 7:50:32 GMT -5
I'd LIKE to think I'm that darn good..LOL I just know I'm not.
Was a time it was ALL about MEMEME and what was in it for MEMEME. If there wasn't a payoff and I wasn't the recipient--you could count that as not going to happen. Even sober I was a pretty self centered, self serving kinda gal. I knew how to make my motives LOOK good to the outside world. I also knew what was driving my boat.
Today I'm going out there with practice of turning it back to the other person. Give me a kind word and I'm gonna double it and give it back two fold. Don't give me a kind word and I'm gonna give it to you anyway--and double it. It's good practice to reverse it back to others and to remind them what they're doing well, what they're excelling in, what they're giving to me without them even recognizing it. I was also good at reversing all the blame to them--about time they (and G-d) get all the glory!
Should prove to be an interesting Friday! And wooooohooooo for Friday!
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Post by lildee on Aug 19, 2005 9:29:24 GMT -5
Self Importance/ Humility
Well to be honest right now I am into self. Self preservation. Trying too detach big time. Not listen to the continuing lies and the arrogant ,self centered nonsense. Now I focus solely only on myself and my kids. It is not done with meanness but more of sorry but it has to be this way, my boundaries are back up. We tried it your way and it failed miserably. Now someone with half a brain has to manage the money, the insurance, write the checks, it's too much of a temptation for the "A". This turns it up a notch. If he wants to steal money now he is gonna have to do it from his job and risk loosing his employment. What little is left in my piggy bank is off limits. Time for me to become a person in my own right.
Frankly life was just too darn easy for the "A". Everything has been handed to him on a silver platter. Money , cars, home. All of it paid by me. Cars that's really ironic ... I don't even drive. Yes angry, resentful hurt, wounded ,victimized, lied to and probably a whole bunch more stuff. Time to get real humble and get back to the books and work another 4th. Got to release all of this garbage. Humble ... I guess so. At least I can admit all the negative things that I am harboring inside right now. Hopefully God will help me with all these negative defects which are surfacing.
Forgive me for letting a chip turn into a vent.
Love & God Bless
lildee
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Post by Lin on Aug 19, 2005 15:27:39 GMT -5
interesting chip graced..THANKS!
I loved what you said about the MEMEME. I have seen that so often. I do try not to let it be ABOUT me.
And lildee...sometimes a chip can turn into a vent. I've read many here. LOL We share what is one our hearts and minds right now. And since your situation fits this chip...WHY NOT VENT???
For me..I try to be humble when it comes to my awe and respect for my HP....when it comes to allo9wing HIM to take my day and be in charge.
But I do see that a bit of "braggginess" comes from me at times when it comes to my weightloss or my famous DOGS. I'm trying really hard to work on that. recognizing it is step one in changing it.
LIN
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Post by ~graced~ on Aug 20, 2005 12:03:09 GMT -5
((((((((((((lildee)))))))))))))))))
I've no doubt G-d can and will help you with those things--and I'm pretty sure you'll let Him.
*hugs*
The only way I know to get past that stuff is to work the steps and walk through 'em.
Sounds to me like that fourth step is a darn good plan.
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Post by majestyjo on Aug 20, 2016 17:54:57 GMT -5
Self-Importance/Humility Love this chip and the previous shares. I like how you write G-d graced. It reminds me that my God can be all things, and He is as He reveals Himself to me in today. Prior to recovery, it was "I am a leading authority on anything, just ask me." Heaven forbid that I didn't know, and I would go all out to find an answer. As the song say, "Oh Lord it is hard to be humble when you are perfect in every way." What an illusion!!! In recovery, I learned the humility didn't mean humiliation. Humility, to become teachable and admitting that I didn't know it all and open to other people's experience, strength, and hope. When things come up, especially stuff that goes back to my past, it is important to work Steps 4-9 to deal with my part. Humbly ask Him to remove my shortcomings. Looking to find a way to change the things that stands between me and who my God would have me be. Just putting a plug in the jug or popping a pill, isn't sobriety. It was important not to continue acting out in my disease. We can do what I can't do for myself. My way didn't work.  |
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Post by bunnypie on Sept 2, 2016 4:19:49 GMT -5
Interesting post! The actual chip is Pride/Humility but this works too!!! Good comments!------Bunnypie  |
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Post by majestyjo on Sept 2, 2016 22:55:39 GMT -5
You started them, and it is appreciated. We all don't think alike and some people see differently. It is good that you are back doing them again. That doesn't mean I won't be bringing old ones forward. They have good reminders and thoughts that are good for me in today. They show me how far I have come and yet in some areas I have grown lax. They have always been a learning tool for me since you started them.
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Post by bunnypie on Sept 3, 2016 2:33:03 GMT -5
Thanks again and again!!!! It is so good to know that this tool of the chips is helping someone! I just am concerned about confusing people!!! When I get confused it makes me frantic and say WTF is going on??? I am trying to do catch up and get us into the present. The program does say that we are suppose to stay in the day (which is now) All we really have is today!!!!!
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Post by majestyjo on Sept 3, 2016 8:51:12 GMT -5
Yes, but the message never grows old for me. I could have started a new one, but why when no one else is responding. For me, it is good to see the posts of past members, or members who don't come any more. When I came back, I couldn't remember my password for Caressa. Wasn't sure if I would get beaten up again using the name. Looks like I should have kept it. I still couldn't reformat or correct old posts, which bothers me when I see old typing errors and pictures that have expired.
I feel I can look at the past and learn from it. I don't stay there, when I bring an old post forward, I respond, telling where I am in today. I may copy a quote, but they too are just as good in today as they where back when.
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Post by bunnypie on Sept 3, 2016 22:30:40 GMT -5
One of the promises on page 83-84 in the Big Book is "we do not regret the past or wish to shut the door on it" I understand what you are saying!!! One of my first sponsors use to tell me "you can look at the past just don't stare at it"----Bunnypie |
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Post by majestyjo on Sept 4, 2016 7:47:31 GMT -5
Yes that is a good one. I was told to learn the lesson from my past, but they say leave the past in the past, and that is true about my disease, but can't see it applying to recovery. We read the Big Book over and over, and for some people, it is old news an they want to change it. For me it was the 12 & 12, which showed me how to learn to live my program.
Self-importance for me is always having to have the last word, thinking our way is the only way, wanting to take a part in a meeting and not allowing those behind us to get involved in service, the way it worked for us.
I have noticed a lot of spelling and typing errors. My keys are sticking and I touch a key and it doesn't go down. Because I type about 70 words a minute, my fingers get ahead of my thoughts. What is the song, "Slow down you are moving too fast?"
I love the promises as I have said many times. They kept me coming back even when I was in my denial.
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Post by bunnypie on Sept 4, 2016 21:28:36 GMT -5
Oh Jo!---that line you mentioned "slow down ya move to fast" is from a Simon & Garfunkel song called "Feeling Groovy" I am having a flash back of the songs of the 60's. A lot of them had great advice & lyrics. Wow! 70 wpm is great!!! I do about 40wpm on a good day!!! The promises are the rewards we get for being "pain staking at this phase of our development" I love how it says "they will always materialize if we work for them" Very happy and encouraging stuff!!!!------Bunnypie |
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Post by majestyjo on Sept 5, 2016 1:56:06 GMT -5
Humility is not humiliation. Either to ourselves or to another, I have a big issue with people who are condescending.
Humility is to become teachable. Admitting we don't know and are willing to look for an alternative way of thinking from my past, that doesn't just mean prior to walking through the doors of recovery, but growing in the program by continually applying the Steps to our life. As I like to say, "Each day I need to do the 1, 2, 3 Waltz. I can't, my God can, just for today, I choose to let Him/Her.
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Post by bunnypie on Sept 5, 2016 3:59:04 GMT -5
Another good definition of Humility is "submissive respect" Every night I have a "humble heart & bended knees" and say Thank You to God for letting me stay sober for another day.......Bunnypie |
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Post by majestyjo on Sept 5, 2016 6:19:45 GMT -5
Don't like the word submissive, respect yes. I submit to His Will for my life. To me submissive is the same as humiliation. I submitted to my ex-husbands because they were both physically and mentally abusive. That is not who my God is in today. I don't live in fear of God like I did prior to recovery. Old tapes made me feel like I was going to be struck down by the wrath of God if I opened my mouth and said the wrong thing and feared taking the wrong step forward in case I wasn't always capable and willing to follow the rules of old tapes.
I live in faith today not fear. If I should die today or tomorrow, I have made my peace with my God and do not live in fear. As my sister said when she was in the hospital, "I am ready."
"Humbly asked to have my short comings removed" means I can't do this God, I need your help. It isn't about being humiliated about the errors of my ways, but asking for forgiveness of them and finding a better way of living by removing them and not slipping back into old patterns, behaviours, and habits. Just like my alcoholism and addictions, I do not have the power. To think that I do, means I am full of ego and Self. As my service sponsor use to say, "I don't care who your Higher Power is as long as it isn't you."
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Post by bunnypie on Sept 5, 2016 22:08:39 GMT -5
what ever.......
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. I will be back looking for Lin and others.