Helpful to others/Self-indulgent of Saturday

[caressa]

It looks like I need to be a little of both today.

I stayed up late working on my new site and posting on a friend's site, therefore I woke up late. I had thought my friend would want to meet about eleven but when I called her I found out that she was thinking closer to noon. I had had thoughts of going early and then coming back to do what I needed to in the afternoon, yet the reality is, I am the one who stayed up late and didn't get the sleep. She is on schedule, I am not.

I went to the library about 10 days ago and got out five books by the same author. I had great plans and figured since my knee was hurting so much, I would be a good girl and sit with it up and read. No such luck. The computer got first dibs, along with TV and cooking shows (another passion), and the books got left closed. I did try a couple of times to read, but the books were each three inches thick and were so heavy, I had trouble holding them up to a place were I could read them. This would have been okay I think if the books had been easy reading, but for some reason I couldn't get into the first one of the series and was hesitant about trying another to see if it was different. Two were big print and I am sure I could have read those, but of course the first one had to be regular print.

How easy it is to delude myself into thinking great and grandiose ideas, and not be able to follow them up with action. I have to keep reminding myself, one day at a time, one moment at a time, focus on today and not project into tomorrow, let alone next week.

[Lin]

Helpful to othes. That is me. My best freind has some severe medical problems. She is either zombied out on pain meds or wired up and can't sleep. It seems the wired up has been the recent pattern. In the past 9 days she and I ahve made wal mart runs abotu 1 to 1:30 6 different days. (and keep in Mind Thanksgiving and black friday we did not go) So when she calls me in the middle of the night...I go get her.I help her find what she wants to shop for. I keep her entertained until closer for her husband ot wake up. Most of these ahve been "school days". Once I wake at 1 AM I am UP for the day. So during the school day I sometimes get tired.

I'm not complaining. I know I have the ability to say NO. I jsut choose to be ther for her because she needs me.

LIN

[caressa]

I had a dear friend who use to cut herself or OD on pain medication then phone me to rescue her. I had to detach from her. I didn't love her less, but for my own health and well being I had to do it although it caused me a lot of pain. It sure wasn't easy. In the last five years she has been sober, not always clean and we started to talk more often. She has been clean and sober now for 3 months and our relationship is stronger than it ever was because now she is herself and more real and not escaping life. It makes for much better communication.

She is my best friend. In today, she keeps me honest and calls me on my stuff, which is something I need. Often don't agree with her, but then we can agree to disagree.