trusting/suspicious?

[Lin]

Today I am in a bit of the SUSpicious mode. Perhaps it is just being cautionus not to get my expectations too high. Perhaps it is looking back to the past and expecting it to repeat itself. i TRY to be very trusting...but there are people and situations who have not earned their trust with me. With them I am CAUTOUS.

Today I work my second job from 7 to 11:30. Then We will leave from there to drive an hour to an afternoon staff meeting and I wont get home until 6 or 7. The last 2 staff meeting days I came home to an extremely drunk spouse. Last time I pulled up to him getting into a police car in front of my house. He had called them because he was suicidal and depressed and wanted a ride to the hospital. The time before he had gotten depressed and suicidal and called an ambulance and was already at the hospital. I came home to an empty house and his truck here. I called a neighbor and she told me she had seen him get into an ambulance a few hours before.

So...Perhaps I do have reason to be cautous today. ...non-trusting. I plan to PRAY that if it be GOD'S WILL for hubby to remain sober today, then so be it. If not..I'll take a book when I go to the hospital to entertain myself whiule he sleeps it off.

are you trusting or suspicious?

LIN

[lildee]

Dearest Lin,
I hope things go a lot better for you this time around.

For me as far as trusting / suspicious ... Honestly I will never be fully trusting again. Not that it is a prominent thing that I obsess about but there have just been too many relapses and too many lies. So I just don't go there ... it breaks MY serenity.

Love & God Bless
Arlene

[Lin]

Thanks for the reply Lildee.

Things went fine...I was gone 11 hours insted of 12...but he as totally sober when I returned.

I agree...the broken promises and the lies do get old. It takes quite a while...with LOTS of kept promises to even start to trust again.

LIN

[Gramm4]

Great news Lin, Glad it went well for you. I have always had a big trust problem. Because of my past, it has been hard to not be suspicious of other people's motives or actions. I'm now learning that not everyone is out to get me. Some people acually do care and are honest.

[Lin]

Thanks Theresa! I totally agree. I never knew I coudl meeting people who woudl be totally honest with me and not have a motive for their actions until I got in recovery. MOST of the people I meet in my groups are AWESOME. I can trust them more than many of my own family members.

Glad you stopped by!
LIN

[dg]

After reading Lildee's post, I am pretty much there myself, the trust issue is very hard for me to as well due to all the lies and relaspe my husband has been thru and of course the women he was involved while we were "seperated" due to his being out there in the left field. It takes time to regain some sort of trust again, even tho, you might have some slight hopes and give in to it but your foot is always in the door. (if you know what I mean)the program is suppose to teach us to be able to learn how to regain trust in a way for me it doesnt' make it any easier to just let it go and forget.

PS Lin sorry your hubby is back in the hospital and things aren't going well for you.. hang in there and hang on tight!

[Lin]

DG...the hospital was the last 2 staff meetign days. He's noit in th hospital right now. He had 15 days sober right now.

BUT TTHANKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LIN

[dg]

Good to hear. ODAT