Hopeful/Despondent

[caressa]

Today I have hope. My son has made it a habit the past three months to lose lose places he lives in and comes and flops on my couch until he can find another place. He has either been at the Mission or the YMCA or bumming a bed at a friends.

He is now working on weekends as well as he regular Monday to Friday job which will give him more money. In reality, more money to drink, yet there is still hope that he may be responsible.

He is moving into a house with two other guys. The house was made available by the man he works weekends for. There is hope thankfully. I have been very despondent because my place hasn't been my own. He says don't wait for me mom. I say I won't put my life on hold waiting for him. Yet, I don't seem to have the energy to just do. Have been very drained. Hopefully, now things will change for the good of all.

[Lin]

Hopeful is the way I try to be. Handling things ODAT helps with that.

Example...the Ky Derby is Saturday. In all the years we have been amrried..DERBY DAY has been an important day to drink and celebrate as you watch the race on TV. I also have my all day staff meeting in anotther town on Sat. That also has been an opportunity for him to get depressed and lonely and get plastered. Both are hitting this Saturday. I know it is a good possibility it may happen again. I will prepare for the worst and hope for the best. Taht's all I can do. If he wants to drink, he'll drink. I'm sure not gonna get worked up over it with WORRY. That only makes MY life more stressed.

LIN