Post by caressa on Jul 6, 2007 20:23:05 GMT -5
Not sure this is a defect, but certain a characteristic which makes up a part of me.
I was very outgoing and social when I was using, then I became this walking it, withdrawn into myself. Every time I picked up, I gave a piece of me away, and there wasn't much of me left.
Isolation is a part of addiction, not of recovery, yet in a lot of ways I find myself there these days. Much more than what I like, but due to health reasons, I am not always able to go out when I want to.
I went to my doctor's today and the bus ride was like being on a roller coaster and when you have bruised ribs, pains in your chest, and aching all over, it was not easy to get there and back.
I ended up going to the market while I was out so I could do everything at once so I wouldn't have to go out again tomorrow. My sponsor is coming over tomorrow and I want to focus on her visit. When I called her yesterday, she apologized for keeping me on the phone because she knew the pain I was in. I replied, "It is good for me to get out of myself and help someone else. If it was too much for me to sit and talk to you on the phone, I would tell you."
I look at it as "the mind is willing, but the flesh is weak." Yet I also know, that the mind often plays tricks and tells me things I want to here, lies and tells me I am just fine, and it is self-honesty that keeps me healthy. As they say, "Me alone with me can often be in bad company."
When I am in pain, I tend to withdraw. Noise and smells of any kind can be a big trigger of fibromyalgia.
Thanks for letting me share.
I was very outgoing and social when I was using, then I became this walking it, withdrawn into myself. Every time I picked up, I gave a piece of me away, and there wasn't much of me left.
Isolation is a part of addiction, not of recovery, yet in a lot of ways I find myself there these days. Much more than what I like, but due to health reasons, I am not always able to go out when I want to.
I went to my doctor's today and the bus ride was like being on a roller coaster and when you have bruised ribs, pains in your chest, and aching all over, it was not easy to get there and back.
I ended up going to the market while I was out so I could do everything at once so I wouldn't have to go out again tomorrow. My sponsor is coming over tomorrow and I want to focus on her visit. When I called her yesterday, she apologized for keeping me on the phone because she knew the pain I was in. I replied, "It is good for me to get out of myself and help someone else. If it was too much for me to sit and talk to you on the phone, I would tell you."
I look at it as "the mind is willing, but the flesh is weak." Yet I also know, that the mind often plays tricks and tells me things I want to here, lies and tells me I am just fine, and it is self-honesty that keeps me healthy. As they say, "Me alone with me can often be in bad company."
When I am in pain, I tend to withdraw. Noise and smells of any kind can be a big trigger of fibromyalgia.
Thanks for letting me share.
. I will be back looking for Lin and others.