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Post by lowdown1 on Jun 30, 2007 19:43:13 GMT -5
My wife (of 28 years) threw me out of the house last night because I stopped the family movie (2 teenage girls and wife) when the characters said " men are all Bastards" - not what I want my girls to hear.  I had 4 beers while mowing the lawn and tending the garden after a bike ride with my 17 YO Daughter. I drank 3 more late in the evening while they were watching a girl movie that I could not stand. My wife has an issue with anorexia and it has been becoming very intense. She has used laxatives for years, had her entire colon removed 2 years ago because her colon stopped working, and is still using laxatives and over- exercising (6- 10 miles a day after knee surgery). When I confronted her with the facts and tried to set up an intervention she almost kicked me out then. Maybe I'm taking to much on myself but I love my wife and I want things to get better, but I feel so very all alone right now I just checked into a motel after sleeping on a couch (at a friends) and I'm tired. How many beers is to many? |
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Post by jeanne1 on Jun 30, 2007 21:28:59 GMT -5
Welcome lowdown. There was a time in my life I drank beer to get a buzz and to not have to face my situation. So it definitly interferred with my thinking and how I felt about things, thus interfered with my relationships. I wasn't sure if I was alcoholic (or at least admit to it), but I knew I was sick and my life was a mess. I went to AA and got a sponser and started working the steps. After many attempts, I began to want something more, then it was pretty amazing how I began to see my life more clearly and also I began to see that my teenage daughter was in trouble as well. AA and Alanon became a way of life for me. That was 15 years ago. I know I wouldn't be who I am today, and would have missed out on many wonderful things in life had I not taken that step to find out. My daughter and I are close and she had to go through a lot before she saw another way of life as well. In fact, she will be graduating from college next year. She got her act together and completely (including financially) did this on her own. I wouldn't have been able to be the mom I needed to be for her had I continued drinking. I have a teenage son now as well. He is a good kid, and he deserves a sober mom as well. My husband died 3 years ago. We only had a short time together, but I am thankful I was able to live the precious time with him sober. Besides my kids, he was the ultimate goodness that came into to my life and had I been drinking he and I may not have gotten together. So, how many beers are too many? For me, one. Thanks, Jeanne
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Post by caressa on Jul 2, 2007 1:37:06 GMT -5
I was told it wasn't how many you drank, it was what it did to you when you drank it. I had a friend who was drunk on two beers and was still walking around at 20, as obnoxious and controlling at 2 as at 20. For me, it was whether I had over 20 or under 20. I was only governed by the amount that was available. When I drank, it changed me. It got to a stage were I did and said things I would never have done without the drink in me.
I didn't want to wear a label I put on my dad and husband, so I was in denial about having a problem for a long time. In today, I know they were drunks, I was the alcoholic. They had a drinking problem. I had a thinking problem that went along with the drinking.
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Post by carolsongs on Jul 2, 2007 6:54:28 GMT -5
you have come to the right place for support and the truth,you sound like a good dad,you mentioned you had more than a few beers,been there,I know what it is to have to have a drink to fuction and feel calm,ad i also know the pain of living with someoe who is destroyig themselves, i can say, Ive learned to take care of me first, then everything seems to fall into place,driking and medicatig ourselves is temporary fix, in the long run , drikig destroys us.when i stopped drinkig and gave my life over to God,all the reasons why i drank seemed to heal, if we make one small step in the right direction, like living in the solutio,n and n ot in the problem, God does the rest, and we become who we are born to be,minus the issues,i told my son Joey,,,AA has the best people on the face of the earth,we all have heart, so great that we cant take it,, Go to a meeting, place yourself, where you belong in AA, we are here for you. god bless ill be praying for you.
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Post by manfreddy1 on Jul 15, 2007 20:17:56 GMT -5
I don't know what determines who is an alcoholic but i do remember my husband had to start drinking every night for 17 years of our marriage at 5 pm. He drank a six pac. On weekends, same thing, except he usually sent me out to get him more. So, every night of my married life, he was drunk. Yes, it created a great deal of turmoil. We finally ended in divorce. Your wife sounds like she is very sick and in pain also. I don't know why she is anorexic, but I have heard it is a form of one trying to control their life in some irrational way. Does your drinking get her mad?
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Post by caressa on Oct 21, 2010 9:35:10 GMT -5
A good question This topic was started by lowdown1 and it is his birthday today. He hasn't been here for a long time.
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. I will be back looking for Lin and others.