SUNDAY CHIP---REALISTIC/UNREALISTIC

[SunnyGirl]

SUNDAY CHIP---REALISTIC/UNREALISTIC

When I first started my journey to recovery, I had some
very unrealistic views. Namely, I would learn, how to
fix the addicted loved ones in my life. I had grandiose
visions of riding in, with answers to all life's problems
and cures for the human race. I had no clue that
it would never happen! I never dreamed I might be the
one that needed to be fixed.

Today, I have realistic expectations for myself and I try
desperately to keep my expectations of others to a bare
minimum. I always get myself in trouble when I begin
to EXPECT, certain actions or behaviors from other people.
I've learned to face facts and be practical, I can always
hope for a different outcome, but I put it in God's hands
and accept life on His terms. God answers all my prayers,
it's not always what I asked for, but it's just exactly what
I need. Thy will, not my will be done......

Peace on the journey, SunnyGirl

[caressa]

It always surprises me how unrealistic my life was prior to recovery. Everything was blown out of proportion. As you say, expectations can be killers. I realized that I was projecting on to others who were not capable of meeting them including myself.

Learning to live in the day and in the moment helps keep things in perspective. I was sitting trying to read my Bourne book by Robert Ludlum and watch figure skating at the same time, and I was just so tired and the book was just oh, so heavy. I told myself I can't be tired it is only 9 p.m. Here I am six hours later awake and now I can read my book and know what I am reading. I try to listen to my body. The old tapes can be killers telling me what I can or should do, when I find myself shoulding all over the place I know I am in the wrong space.

[Lin]

Living ODAT helps me stay realistic. Today I know my spouse may NEVER choose to stop drinking. It's not my fault and not my job to try to convinve him that he evenneeds to.

I am being realistic. I made choices and now I need to make the best of them. That's being realistic.

LIN