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Post by caressa on Dec 30, 2008 14:43:29 GMT -5
A good thing for me to remember at the close of the year 2008 and a hope for 2009.
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Post by caressa on Feb 18, 2009 16:33:23 GMT -5
My true partnership is with my Higher Power. It is my hope that if I am to get into another relationship (sigh), it is with some one who is his own person, who isn't threatened by me and doesn't have to put me down to make himself feel better), who respects who I am, and we can share and communicate with each other. Communication is something I had very little of. I was told to shut up and listen and wasn't allowed to share who I was, my thoughts, etc. For many years, I always spoke what I thought others wanted to hear, because I wanted to belong, to be a part of, and through you, I found my self-acceptance. That is not how recovery works. I thought I found that once in sobriety but it ended up he was sitting on his brain more often than not. That may sound judgmental but when someone only calls with one interest in mind, that isn't communicating the message I always want to hear. Maybe I am just getting old.
Just for today, I choose not to be used or abused. I choose not to abuse or misuse others.
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Post by caressa222 on Feb 24, 2018 20:36:24 GMT -5
My favourite piece of prose. I am being Canadian in the moment.  |
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Post by majestyjo on Aug 28, 2019 22:31:48 GMT -5
August 28, 2019
The light of exposure
Page 250
"These defects grow in the dark and die in the light of exposure."
Basic Text, p.32
The Fifth Step asks us to share our true nature with God, with ourselves, and with another human being. It doesn't encourage us to tell everyone every little secret about ourselves. It doesn't ask us to disclose to the whole world every shameful or frightening thought we've ever had. Step Five simply suggests that our secrets cause us more harm than good when we keep them completely to ourselves.
If we give in to our reluctance to reveal our true nature to even one human being, the secret side of our lives becomes more powerful. And when the secrets are in control, they drive a wedge between ourselves, our Higher Power, and the things we value most about our recovery.
When we share our secret selves in confidence with at least one human being-our sponsor, perhaps, or a close friend-this person usually doesn't reject us. We disclose ourselves to someone else and are rewarded with their acceptance. When this happens, we realize that honest sharing is not life-threatening; the secrets have lost their power over us.
Just for Today: I can disarm the secrets in my life by sharing them with one human being.
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Post by majestyjo on Aug 30, 2019 0:42:53 GMT -5
August 29, 2019
Don't look back
Page 251
"The steps offer "a big change from a life dominated by guilt and remorse. Our futures are changed because we don't have to avoid those who we have harmed. As a result... we receive a new freedom that can end isolation.""
Basic Text, p.39
Many of us come to Narcotics Anonymous full of regrets about our past. Our steps help us begin to resolve those regrets. We examine our lives, admit our wrongs, make amends for them, and sincerely try to change our behavior. In doing so, we find a joyous sense of freedom.
No longer must we deny or regret our past. Once we've made our amends, what's done is truly over and gone. From that point on, where we come from ceases to be the most important thing about us. It's where we are going that counts.
In NA, we begin to look forward. True, we live and stay clean just for today. But we find that we can begin to set goals, dream dreams, and look ahead to the joys a life in recovery has to offer. Looking forward keeps us centered in where we are going, not remorseful or regretful about our past. After all, it is hard to move forward if we are looking back.
Just for Today: The steps have freed me from regrets over my past. Today, I look forward to my new life in recovery.
Copyright (c) 2007-2019, NA World Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved
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Post by majestyjo on Aug 30, 2019 3:11:03 GMT -5
August 30, 2019
Doing good, feeling good
Page 252
"We examine our actions, reactions, and motives. We often find that we've been doing better than we've been feeling."
Basic Text, p.43
The way we treat others often reveals our own state of being. When we are at peace, we're most likely to treat others with respect and compassion. However, when we're feeling off center; we're likely to respond to others with intolerance and impatience. When we take regular inventory, we'll probably notice a pattern: We treat others badly when we feel bad about ourselves.
What might not be revealed in an inventory, however, is the other side of the coin: When we treat others well, we feel good about ourselves. When we add this positive truth to the negative facts we find about ourselves in our inventory, we begin to behave differently.
When we feel badly, we can pause to pray for guidance and strength. Then, we make a decision to treat those around us with kindness, gentleness, and the same concern we'd like to be shown. A decision to be kind may nurture and sustain the happiness and peace of mind we all wish for. And the joy we inspire may lift the spirits of those around us, in turn fostering our own spiritual well-being.
Just for Today: I will remember that if I change my actions, my thoughts will follow.
Copyright (c) 2007-2019, NA World Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved
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Post by majestyjo on Aug 31, 2019 12:48:42 GMT -5
August 31, 2019
Gratitude
Page 253
"Hopeless living problems have become joyously changed. Our disease has been arrested, and now anything is possible."
Basic Text, p.106
The NA program has given us more freedom than we ever dreamed possible. Sometimes, though, in the daily routine, we lose track of how much we've been given. How, exactly, have our lives changed in Narcotics Anonymous?
The bottom line of recovery, of course, is freedom from the compulsion to use. No longer must we devote all our resources to feeding our addiction. No longer must we endanger, humiliate, or abuse ourselves or others just to get the next "fix." Abstinence itself has brought great freedom to our lives.
Narcotics Anonymous has given us much more than simple abstinence-we've been given a whole new life. We've taken our inventory and have identified the defects of character that bound us for so long, keeping us from living and enjoying life. We've surrendered those shortcomings, taken responsibility for them, and sought the direction and power we need to live differently. Our home group has given us the personal warmth and support that helps us continue living in recovery. And topping all this off, we have the love, care, and guidance of the God we've come to understand in NA.
In the course of day-to-day recovery, we sometimes forget how much our lives have changed in Narcotics Anonymous. Do we fully appreciate what our program has given us?
Just for Today: Recovery has given me freedom. I will greet the day with hope, grateful that anything is possible today.
Copyright (c) 2007-2019, NA World Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved
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Post by majestyjo on Sept 2, 2019 1:44:07 GMT -5
September 01, 2019
Real values
Page 255
"We become able to make wise and loving decisions based on principles and ideals that have real value in our lives."
Basic Text, p.105
Addiction gave us a certain set of values, principles we applied in our lives. "You pushed me" one of those values told us, "so I pushed back, hard." "It's mine" was another value generated by our disease. "Well, okay, maybe it wasn't mine to start with, but I liked it, so I made it mine." Those values were hardly values at all-more like rationalizations-and they certainly didn't help us make wise and loving decisions. In fact, they served primarily to dig us deeper and deeper into the grave we'd already dug for ourselves.
The Twelve Steps give us a strong dose of real values, the kind that help us live in harmony with ourselves and those around us. We place our faith not in ourselves, our families, or our communities, but in a Higher Power-and in doing so, we grow secure enough to be able to trust our communities, our families, and even ourselves. We learn to be honest, no matter what-and we learn to refrain from doing things we might want to hide. We learn to accept responsibility for our actions. "It's mine" is replaced with a spirit of selflessness. These are the kind of values that help us become a responsible, productive part of the life around us. Rather than digging us deeper into a grave, these values restore us to the world of the living.
Just for Today: I am grateful for the values I've developed. I am thankful for the ability they give me to make wise, loving decisions as a responsible, productive member of my community.
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Post by majestyjo on Sept 4, 2019 20:36:02 GMT -5
September 04, 2019
Cluttered spirits
Page 258
"We try to remember that when we make amends we are doing it for ourselves. "
Basic Text, p.41
As long as we still owe amends, our spirits are cluttered with things we don't need. We're carrying the extra load of an apology owed, a resentment held, or unexpressed remorse. It's like having a messy house. We could leave so we don't have to see the mess, or maybe just step over the piles of debris and pretend they aren't there. But ignoring the disorder won't make it disappear. In the end, the dirty dishes, the crumb-filled carpet, and the overflowing wastebaskets are still there, waiting to be cleaned up.
A cluttered spirit is just as hard to live with as a messy home. We always seem to be tripping over yesterday's leavings. Every time we turn around and try to go somewhere, there is something blocking our path. The more we neglect our responsibility to make amends, the more cluttered our spirits become. And we can't even hire someone to clean up. We have to do the work ourselves.
We gain a deep sense of satisfaction from making our own amends. Just as we would feel after we've cleaned our homes and have time to enjoy a bit of sunshine through sparkling windows, so will our spirits rejoice at our freedom to truly enjoy our recovery. And once the big mess is cleaned up, all we have to do is pick up after ourselves as we go along.
Just for Today: I will clear away what's cluttering my spirit by making the amends I owe.
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Post by majestyjo on Sept 5, 2019 12:25:20 GMT -5
September 05, 2019
Not hopelessly bad
Page 259
"We find that we suffer from a disease, not a moral dilemma. We were critically ill, not hopelessly bad."
Basic Text, p.16
For many of us, Narcotics Anonymous was the answer to a personal puzzle of long standing. Why did we always feel alone, even in a crowd, we wondered? Why did we do so many crazy, self-destructive things? Why did we feel so badly about ourselves so much of the time? And how had our lives gotten so messed up? We thought we were hopelessly bad, or perhaps hopelessly insane.
Given that, it was a great relief to learn we suffered from a disease. Addiction-that was the source of our problems. A disease, we realized, could be treated. And when we treat our disease, we can begin to recover.
Today, when we see symptoms of our disease resurfacing in our lives, we need not despair. After all, it's a treatable disease we have, not a moral dilemma. We can be grateful we can recover from the disease of addiction through the application of the Twelve Steps of NA.
Just for Today: I am grateful that I have a treatable disease, not a moral dilemma. I will continue applying the treatment for the disease of addiction by practicing the NA program.
Copyright (c) 2007-2019, NA World Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved
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Post by majestyjo on Sept 7, 2019 6:10:24 GMT -5
September 8
Resentment and forgiveness
Page 261
"Where there has been wrong, the program teaches us the spirit of forgiveness. "
Basic Text, p.12
In NA, we begin to interact with the world around us. We no longer live in isolation. But freedom from isolation has its price: The more we interact with people, the more often we'll find someone stepping on our toes. And such are the circumstances in which resentments are often born.
Resentments, justified or not, are dangerous to our ongoing recovery. The longer we harbor resentments, the more bitter they become, eventually poisoning us. To stay clean, we must find the capacity to let go of our resentments, the capacity to forgive. We first develop this capacity in working Steps Eight and Nine, and we keep it alive by regularly taking the Tenth Step.
Sometimes when we are unwilling to forgive, it helps to remember that we, too, may someday require another person's forgiveness. Haven't we all, at one time or another, done something that we deeply regretted? And aren't we healed in some measure when others accept our sincere amends?
An attitude of forgiveness is a little easier to develop when we remember that we are all doing the very best we can. And someday we, too, will need forgiveness.
Just for Today: I will let go of my resentments. Today, if I am wronged, I will practice forgiveness, knowing that I need forgiveness myself.
Copyright (c) 2007-2019, NA World Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved
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Post by majestyjo on Sept 8, 2019 6:07:29 GMT -5
September 08, 2019
Rebellion
Page 262
"We need not lose faith when we become rebellious."
Basic Text, p.35
Many of us have lived our entire lives in revolt. Our initial response to any type of direction is often negative. Automatic rejection of authority seems to be a troubling character defect for many addicts.
A thorough self-examination can show us how we react to the world around us. We can ask ourselves if our rebellion against people, places, and institutions is justified. If we keep writing long enough, we can usually get past what others did and uncover our own part in our affairs. We find that what others did to us was not as important as how we responded to the situations we found ourselves in.
Regular inventory allows us to examine the patterns in our reactions to life and see if we are prone to chronic rebelliousness. Sometimes we will find that, while we may usually go along with what is suggested to us rather than risk rejection, we secretly harbor resentments against authority. If left to themselves, these resentments can lead us away from our program of recovery.
The inventory process allows us to uncover, evaluate, and alter our rebellious patterns. We can't change the world by taking an inventory, but we can change the way we react to it.
Just for Today: I want freedom from the you turmoil of rebelliousness. Before I act, I will inventory myself and think about my true values.
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Post by caressa222 on Sept 10, 2019 21:51:31 GMT -5
September 10, 2019
More powerful than words
Page 264
"We learn that a simple, loving hug can make all the difference in the world."
Basic Text, p.91
Perhaps there have been times in our recovery when we were close to someone who was in great pain. We struggled with the question, "What can I do to make them feel better?" We felt anxious and inadequate to relieve their suffering. We wished we had more experience to share. We didn't know what to say.
But sometimes life deals wounds that can't be eased by even the most heartfelt words. Words can never express all we mean when our deepest feelings of compassion are involved. Language is inadequate to reach a wounded soul, as only the touch of a loving Higher Power can heal an injury to the spirit.
When those we love are grieving, simply being present is perhaps the most compassionate contribution we can offer. We can rest assured that a loving Higher Power is working hard at healing the spirit; our only responsibility is to be there. Our presence, a loving hug, and a sympathetic ear will surely express the depth of our feelings, and do more to reach the heart of a human being in pain than mere words ever could.
Just for Today: I will offer my presence, a hug, and a sympathetic ear to someone I love.
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Post by majestyjo on Sept 11, 2019 3:28:13 GMT -5
September 11, 2019
Bend with the wind
Page 265
"We learn to become flexible.. As new things are revealed, we feel renewed."
Basic Text, p.102
"Flexibility" was not a part of the vocabulary we used in our using days. We'd become obsessed with the raw pleasure of our drugs and hardened to all the softer, subtler, more infinitely varied pleasures of the world around us. Our disease had turned life itself into a constant threat of jails, institutions, and death, a threat against which we hardened ourselves all the more. In the end we became brittle. With the merest breath of life's wind we crumbled at last, broken, defeated, with no choice but to surrender.
But the beautiful irony of recovery is that, in our surrender, we found the flexibility we had lost in our addiction, the very lack of which had defeated us. We regained the ability to bend in life's breeze without breaking. When the wind blew, we felt its loving caress against our skin, where once we would have hardened ourselves as if against the onrush of a storm.
The winds of life blow new airs our way each moment, and with them new fragrances, new pleasures, varied, subtly different. As we bend with life's wind, we feel and hear and touch and smell and taste all it has to offer us. And as new winds blow, we feel renewed.
Just for Today: Higher Power, help me bend with life's wind and glory in its passing. Free me from rigidity.
Copyright (c) 2007-2019, NA World Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved
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Post by caressa222 on Sept 12, 2019 2:30:33 GMT -5
September 12, 2019
New horizons
Page 266
"My life is well-rounded and I am becoming a more comfortable version of myself, not the neurotic, boring person that I thought I'd be without drugs."
Is there really life without drugs? Newcomers are sure that they are destined to lead a humdrum existence once they quit using. That fear is far from reality.
Narcotics Anonymous opens the door to a new way of life for our members. The only thing we lose in NA is our slavery to drugs. We gain a host of new friends, time to pursue hobbies, the ability to be stably employed, even the capacity to pursue an education if we so desire. We are able to start projects and see them through to completion. We can go to a dance and feel comfortable, even if we have two left feet. We start to budget money to travel, even if it's only with a tent to a nearby campsite. In recovery, we find out what interests us and pursue new pastimes. We dare to dream.
Life is certainly different when we have the rooms of Narcotics Anonymous to return to. Through the love we find in NA, we begin to believe in ourselves. Equipped with this belief, we venture forth into the world to discover new horizons. Many times, the world is a better place because an NA member has been there.
Just for Today: I can live a well-rounded, comfortable life-a life I never dreamed existed. Recovery has opened new horizons to me and equipped me to explore them.
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Post by caressa222 on Sept 13, 2019 14:34:19 GMT -5
September 13, 2019
Something different
Page 267
"We had to have something different, and we thought we had found it in drugs. "
Basic Text, p.13
Many of us have always felt different from other people. We know we're not unique in feeling that way; we hear many addicts share the same thing. We searched all our lives for something to make us all right, to fix that "different" place inside us, to make us whole and acceptable. Drugs seemed to fill that need.
When we were high, at least we no longer felt the emptiness or the need. There was one drawback: The drugs, which were our solution, quickly became our problem.
Once we gave up the drugs, the sense of emptiness returned. At first we felt despair because we didn't have any solution of our own to that miserable longing. But we were willing to take direction and began to work the steps. As we did, we found what we'd been looking for, that "something different" Today, we believe that our lifelong yearning was primarily for knowledge of a Higher Power; the "something different" we needed was a relationship with a loving God. The steps tell us how to begin that relationship.
Just for Today: My Higher Power is the "something different" that's always been missing in my life I will use the steps to restore that missing ingredient to my spirit.
Copyright (c) 2007-2019, NA World Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved
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Post by majestyjo on Sept 14, 2019 11:36:31 GMT -5
September 14, 2019
Secrets are reservations
Page 268
"Eventually we are shown that we must get honest, or we will use again."
Basic Text, p.85
Everyone has secrets, right? Some of us have little secrets, items that would cause only minor embarrassment if found out. Some of us have big secrets, whole areas of our lives cloaked in thick, murky darkness. Big secrets may represent a more obvious, immediate danger to our recovery. But the little secrets do their own kind of damage, the more insidious perhaps because we think they're "harmless."
Big or little, our secrets represent spiritual territory we are unwilling to surrender to the principles of recovery. The longer we reserve pieces of our lives to be ruled by self-will and the more vigorously we defend our "right" to hold onto them, the more damage we do. Gradually, the unsurrendered territories of our lives tend to expand, taking more and more ground.
Whether the secrets in our lives are big or little, sooner or later they bring us to the same place. We must choose-either we surrender everything to our program, or we will lose our recovery.
Just for Today: I want the kind of recovery that comes from total surrender to the program. Today I will talk with my sponsor and disclose my secrets, big or small.
Copyright (c) 2007-2019, NA World Services, Inc. All Rights
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Post by majestyjo on Sept 15, 2019 13:35:36 GMT -5
September 15, 2019
Filling the emptiness
Page 269
"...we think that if we can just get enough food, enough sex, or enough money, we'll be satisfied and everything will be alright."
Basic Text, p.80
In our addiction, we could never get enough drugs, or money, or sex, or anything else. Even too much was never enough! There was a spiritual emptiness inside us. Though we tried as hard as we could to fill that emptiness ourselves, we never succeeded. In the end, we realized that we lacked the power to fill it; it would take a Power greater than ourselves to do that.
So we stopped using, and we stopped trying to fill the emptiness in our gut with things. We turned to our Higher Power, asking for its care, strength, and direction. We surrendered and made way for that Power to begin the process of filling our inner void. We stopped grabbing things and started receiving the free gift of love our Higher Power had for us. Slowly, our inner emptiness was being filled.
Now that we've been given our Higher Power's gift of love, what do we do with it? If we clasp that gift tightly to ourselves, we will smother it. We must remember that love grows only when it is shared. We can only keep this gift by freely giving it away. The world of addiction is a world of taking and being taken; the world of recovery is a world of giving and being given. In which world do we choose to live?
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Post by majestyjo on Sept 18, 2019 0:53:51 GMT -5
September 17, 2019
Going beyond Step Five
Page 271
"We may think that we have done enough by writing about our past. We cannot afford this mistake."
Basic Text, p.32
Some of us aren't too keen on writing out our Fourth Step; others take it to an obsessive extreme. To our sponsor's growing dismay, we inventory ourselves again and again. We discover everything there is to know about why we were the way we were. We have the idea that thinking, writing, and talking about our past is enough. We hear none of our sponsor's suggestions to become entirely ready to have our defects removed or make amends for the harm we've caused. We simply write more about those defects and delightedly share our fresh insights. Finally, our worn-out sponsor withdraws from us in self-defense.
Extreme as this scenario may seem, many of us have found ourselves in just such a situation. Thinking, writing, and talking about what was wrong with us made us feel like we had it all under control. Sooner or later, however, we realized we were stuck in our problems, the solutions nowhere in sight. We knew that, if we wanted to live differently, we would have to move on beyond Step Five in our program. We began to seek the willingness to have a Higher Power remove the character defects of which we'd become so intensely aware. We made amends for the destruction we had caused others in acting out on those defects. Only then did we begin to experience the freedom of an awakening spirit. Today, we're no longer victims; we are free to move on in our recovery.
Just for Today: Although necessary, Steps Four and Five alone will not bring about emotional and spiritual recovery. I will take them, and then I will act on them.
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Post by majestyjo on Sept 18, 2019 0:54:18 GMT -5
September 17, 2019
Going beyond Step Five
Page 271
"We may think that we have done enough by writing about our past. We cannot afford this mistake."
Basic Text, p.32
Some of us aren't too keen on writing out our Fourth Step; others take it to an obsessive extreme. To our sponsor's growing dismay, we inventory ourselves again and again. We discover everything there is to know about why we were the way we were. We have the idea that thinking, writing, and talking about our past is enough. We hear none of our sponsor's suggestions to become entirely ready to have our defects removed or make amends for the harm we've caused. We simply write more about those defects and delightedly share our fresh insights. Finally, our worn-out sponsor withdraws from us in self-defense.
Extreme as this scenario may seem, many of us have found ourselves in just such a situation. Thinking, writing, and talking about what was wrong with us made us feel like we had it all under control. Sooner or later, however, we realized we were stuck in our problems, the solutions nowhere in sight. We knew that, if we wanted to live differently, we would have to move on beyond Step Five in our program. We began to seek the willingness to have a Higher Power remove the character defects of which we'd become so intensely aware. We made amends for the destruction we had caused others in acting out on those defects. Only then did we begin to experience the freedom of an awakening spirit. Today, we're no longer victims; we are free to move on in our recovery.
Just for Today: Although necessary, Steps Four and Five alone will not bring about emotional and spiritual recovery. I will take them, and then I will act on them.
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. I will be back looking for Lin and others.