Finding Joy in Meaningless Tasks

[caressa]

DAILY OM

What's Fun Got To Do With It
Finding Joy in Meaningless Tasks

Spending an afternoon working on the car, gardening, or even cleaning the house can be fun when we have an interest in the project. Yet, we can also find joy in the chores and tasks we don't especially like. All we need is a change of attitude, a different approach, a little music, or some help from friends, and the tasks or responsibilities that we perceive as tedious can become a source of pleasure.

Most of us tend to put off what it is that we don’t want to do. Yet, one of the best approaches to an unpleasant task or dull chore is to dive right in and be fully mindful of what it is that you are doing. You may not perceive washing the kitchen floor as enjoyable, but it can be if you view it as a loving act for both yourself and your family. Lose yourself in paying your bills, and thank the universe that you are able to receive the service you are writing that check for. Mending can become a treasure hunt to find the right button and matching thread. And, each morning, see how neatly you can make your bed and take pride in your results.

Playing your favorite music, dancing while you work, or creating a mental list of everything you are grateful for are just a few ways to turn an unexciting activity into a fun event. Ask a friend to help you clean out the basement or paint a room; provide some yummy snacks as an incentive. Look for joy in doing your mundane activities, and they’ll become a source of enjoyment rather than a tolerable duty.

What do you think?

I once heard that doing dishes can be an act of meditation. I believe it could be true, but for me, who hates doing dishes, I am highly suspect. I do believe in doing your best in what ever situation you find yourself in. You might as well enjoy it it is better to have fun doing something than going about it with anger and resentment. As they say, the failure is in the not trying. The negative is looking at life with gloom and doom, why not think positively?

[caressa]

For many years, I didn't find much joy in living. It seemed like the days would never pass and time was never ending. When I got clean and sober, and I found my feeling or should I say my true feelings, not those imposed on me or feelings that I never allowed myself to feel; either from fear of rebuttal or reaction, fear of rejection and disapproval; fear of lack of acceptance and validation; for what ever reason, they were surpressed and I used to help do the suppression. Then they came bubbling up and I didn't know what to do with them, how to control them or if I needed to, how to express them in a healthy way, and more importantly how to identify them.

Joy is a choice. It is something I try to put in my day. I don't choose to be sad, but when I do, that is okay. It is an emotion too. Today was an especially joyful day because I came first in the individual bridge tournament. I have played before and the highest I had come was fourth. I find joy just in playing. But when I found I won, I think joy was too mild of a word to use. I was ecstatic. I found happiness when I got home, my son cooked me a chicken dinner with mashed potatoes and creamed corn. Two of my favorite comfort foods that brought more joy into my day. I even found joy in making the gravy. Food always tastes better when someone else cooks it. I was so comforted that I started to yawn and made the decision to go to bed. I had been up since 6 a.m. Here I am again awake at 5 a.m. but that is okay. I had a good sleep.

Joy and comfort is where we choose to find it. What may be a joy to me may be a chore to someone else. The nice thing is, that is okay!

[mr sluggo]

chicken dinner with mashed potatoes and creamed corn

I hope it was the brown gravy. Mmmmmmmm gravy.

I do most of the cooking in my house. Okay all of it. When I lived alone I had to learn. The only thing I can't do right is fry an egg. They always look like a hockey puck when I get done.

Most of the time I get home from work before my wife does. I generally do most of the housework before she gets home. Her job is much more stressful than mine. I figure if I do it she won't have to so that's my attitude. Try to make the bed, laundry, vaccum, clean the kitchen. We live in an apartment so we don't have to worry about yardwork. That's what my in-laws house is for.

A few years ago my mother-in-law expressed a desire to have a patio in her backyard. Dummy tells her sure I can do that. Of course never having done much manual labor like ever. So I get the right tools, a crapload of 2x8x16 red cinder blocks and a few weeks later the patio was finished. I guess it's the feeling of accomplishment knowing I did something nice for someone. Of course it had to be perfect before the last block was placed. She kept asking me how much money I wanted for the job and I kept saying no so she fed me. I will work for food.

[caressa]

Thank you so much for sharing. It is those little things, as you say the comfort things. Ironically, I don't do eggs well either. As my son grew older, he made a point of making his own. Mine ended up broke or overcooked so generally just decide to scramble them. Figure it is easier that way and didn't think I could do wrong. Unfortunately, I can mess them up too.

Don't make brown gravy with chicken as I generally bake it and let it cook in it's own juices. If I need extra gravy, I had potato water or more chicken stock. Sometimes I add milk like it is suggested on the cooking channel. When I worked on banquets they called me gravy Jo. There was always an argument about flour or cornstarch. Personally, I like cornstarch because it is light and let's the flavour of the food come through.

It says in the Big Book that those of us who recover make good employees. We take that extra step to make things right and do it well. I think it is a way of making amends to ourselves and indirect amends to those who have moved on out of our lives.

Sounds like the whole project would be very grounding, satisfying, and a sense of accomplishment for a job well done. We tend to forget to endorse ourselves. As the reading says and the Big Book promises, "The joy of living!"

[majestyjo]

Some remember whens. Those little things that add up and make a day special. For me, they are the gifts of sobriety. Before recovery, I wouldn't have noticed them or done them.