Wednesday Chip---Honest/Dishonest

[SunnyGirl]

Wednesday Chip---Honest/Dishonest

I try to pick a chip that represents what I am feeling on
any given day, other times I will do the eenie-meenie-moe
and what ever comes up, comes up. But each time I pull
a chip I try to be completely honest with you..... No it's
more than that, I try to be completely honest with myself.

So back to Honest/Dishonest ...... I try to work an honest
program and to me this means I have to be brutally honest.
I used to describe myself as being flexible, a very good friend
called me on it and I had to agree. I am no longer flexible, I
consider myself to be semi-rigid. I have a strong belief system
and it sometimes gets me in trouble, the black and white of
any discussion rarely lets me tune in on the gray areas.
It's always a good thing to have a sponsor or that one person
who really knows you and isn't afraid to call a spade a spade.

In recovery working an honest program is imperative to my
recovery. I can quote slogans and post poems but if I am not
100% honest with myself I can't grow.

Peace on the journey, SunnyGirl

[caressa]

The original big book said that we had to be rigorously honest if I am not mistaken. I was for the most part an honest person for most of my life, it was the self-honesty that I had difficulty with. I remember coming home from a meeting and sharing with some friends in the car, "Recovery is learning that there are shades of gray and knowing that everything isn't black or white." I later shared that at a NA meeting and a guy said for him he lived in the gray area all his life and it was good to see black and white; so I guess it is a matter of perspective.

For me it is: "What is reality?" What is really going on? It is getting rid of the rose coloured glasses, the tunnel vision, the blinders, and opening my heart and mind and seeing what is!

I was at a point at one time that I was so honest, that I was hurtful to others and that wasn't right either. Recovery isn't about being right. For me it is about loving others and not abusing myself or others, and to do that, I need to be honest. It isn't always about what I say as it is about how I say it.