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Post by Cherie on Feb 8, 2009 15:33:34 GMT -5
In the Daily Readings section of the board under “Daily Recovery Thoughts” -
The topic was, learning how to act, rather than react.
I've come a long ways on this.....
It's always easy to "act" happy when you're given flowers
or a gift. I just comes naturally!
It's always easy to "act" sad or cry, when we are hurt!
Both for me are basic human responses.
But there are times when I react to anger with anger....
I try very hard not to but, it too feels like it comes naturally!
With practice, I can "act as if" I am not hurt or angry and
take a time out. I can use this time to reason things out
and try to see where the anger is really from and how can
I change my response. I am not all the way there folks, I
am still working on this. But the good news, if I get good
enough at acting... I may move to Hollywood!
Peace on the journey, SunnyGirl
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Post by caressa on Feb 11, 2009 1:30:06 GMT -5
My husband told me at the age of 21 to quit crying that I used my tears as a weapon. So I did! It took several years in recovery before I would give myself permission to let them go.
Most of my life was act/react and as you say, it does get better. One of my favorite slogans is "Hesitate and Meditate." I don't do it well. It isn't so much that I don't act out, but that I recognize the fact and that I process things better in today. I was always told to take my own inventory, clean my side of the street and make things right with my God. There have been days when I have been very grateful for this program, especially when I recognize the fact that I didn't act out in the old way. Going up one side and down the other, tearing strips along the way and forgetting to put them back together again. My tongue was a nasty weapon. I try to use it for healing and rejuvination today.
I don't do "Act as If" well, to me that isn't always my truth and my reality. It is okay as far as it goes, but doesn't work for me in the long run. Perhaps I am hesitant about it because I spent so many years saying "If only!"
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Post by SunnyGirl on Feb 11, 2009 13:42:34 GMT -5
I use "act as if" until I get to the point where I can let it go. Rather than to give into my urge to yell and scream, I will walk away as if nothing has happened. It isn't always easy and I do explode now and then, but the more I practice the better I get.....  Peace on the journey, SunnyGirl |
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Post by caressa on Feb 11, 2009 14:16:34 GMT -5
My nature isn't to explode but I do think people get the message when I am displeased. My ex-husband use to call it "Your Mother's look" when he was talking to my son and telling him to remove it from his face. It wasn't until I came into recovery that I realized that I wore it quite regularly and I wasn't sure what it was until I could get honest with myself. It meant basically "Eat SH*T and die!" As a rule I can walk away if I feel I can't express myself in a healthy manner. If I feel like I may lose it, then I find it best left unsaid until such a time as I can put my thoughts in order. I have found it isn't so much what I say it is how I say it that is important.
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Post by Cherie on Feb 11, 2009 14:21:46 GMT -5
For me, my "act as if" is my grace period.... |
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Post by caressa on Feb 11, 2009 17:22:29 GMT -5
 Never thought of it that way. Like the thought. I call it that moment my HP gives me to make a choice, so 'Grace' covers that! Of course, sometimes I make wrong choices. |
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Post by caressa222 on Feb 13, 2021 0:26:28 GMT -5
Seldom react unless it is something about my son. I am getting better, but haven't quite reached better.
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Post by caressa222 on Feb 23, 2021 6:27:52 GMT -5
Like the thought, Gods Grace to allow me to make a decision. I am given freedom of choice.
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Never thought of it that way. Like the thought. I call it that moment my HP gives me to make a choice, so 'Grace' covers that!
. I will be back looking for Lin and others.