Sunday Chip- - -Sincere / Insincere

[SunnyGirl]

Sunday Chip- - -Sincere / Insincere

I’m getting much better at expressing what I think and feel….
It’s not always exactly what my family may want to hear but
it comes from my heart. The saying, “say what you mean,
mean what you say, but don’t say it mean”, helps me with
this. It’s more important for me to be honest and sincere,
than to “tippy toe” around trying to find just the right or
correct thing to say. Trying to keep everyone happy used
to be a full-time job…. Today I choose to keep it simple
and doing what I know and feel is the right thing to do.

Which side of the chip are you on today, please share…..

Peace on the journey, SunnyGirl

[Lin]

I try to be sincere with everybody i come in contact with. I don't think I actually "tippy toe" around, but I do keep quiet if all I woudl have to say might hurt somebody's feelings. I keep my opinions to myself if they are unsolicited. It's sort of like the old saying we all know..."if you can't say something nice, dont say anything at all.

LIN

[caressa]

This is an area that I have had a lot of healing, and is still subject to change. I didn't want to hurt people's feelings and would say anything. I would just stuff it and walk away, and inside I would hurt.

I have always been sincere and yet I often sincerely tried to say what I thought you wanted me to say to keep the peace and not make waves and not being my true self. In today, what you see is what you get. My recovery has always been important to me. It was important for me to change and grow into new thinking and behaviors. I was always more insecure than insincere. God and I are working on that too. I am reminded of a woman from my aunt's church who she referred to as "Too sweet to be wholesome." My aunt never put people down, but she sure had the woman pegged. When someone is too nice I tend to want to know "What do they want?" When people contact me, it seems they always want a favour and want me to do something for them. It would be nice if people would just call to say hello, how are you, without having ulterior motives.

[Ron]

As for Sincere / Insincere vs saying something and not saying something there is often a fine line. Sometimes to me it is as much being insincere to not say something as to say something. For me it is a moment by moment situtuation and I have to weight the end results. You cannot say something to some one that is already killing themselves. But I might say something that gets there thinking going. First thing I have to check is my reseason for saying something. If my intentions are good and sincere I do what I deem right. If my intentions are not good and sincere I try to keep my mouth shout and keep my comments to myself. At AA they nickenamed me Mr Focker. It is more polite than when they called me....never mind. But even than I reminded them it was MR F....... to them. The reason I got the nick name is that I tell it the way it is. Often it doesn't set well. As Morey use to say it is not about your poor little bittie alcoholic feelings it is about recovery. I think we can kill people with trying to be to kind to them. I feel it is often better to try help with with honest comments and actions and sincere feelings.

Have a great day.

Ron

[caressa]

Great share Ron. I have no right to bring someone else down to make myself feel better. As I have stated any times, my sponsor use to say, "Examine your motives and your intent."