Fear

[caressa]

I phoned in my to the drug store for my blood pressure medication yesterday. There had been a mix up in my prescription and I hadn't realized that I was short and didn't have enough for the weekend. They promised to deliver it yesterday but it didn't arrive.

It won't be delivered now until tomorrow and there is a part of me who is fearful of going without the medication. I was taking two tablets a day and have had none since Wednesday evening.

I know I will have to take things easy today and if need be I can go to the hospital which is only a few blocks away to get checked out. I wouldn't be so fearful if I hadn't been having pains in my chest lately. I think it is my fibromyalgia but my doctor told me that when I get them to go to the hospital. The hospital say there is nothing wrong with my heart and yet my blood pressure was low instead of high last time I had it checked.

Fear always led to using to make the feelings go away. Today I will turn it over to my Higher Power and have faith that He will direct me as to what is in my best interest and for my Higher Good.

[caressa]

Made it through the day without going to the hospital. I called my spiritual advisor and she told me to do meditation and ask for what I needed. She said my collestoral is worse than my blood pressure so don't worry and gave me a lecture on my eating habits.

Went to bridge tonight and came in third so now I can sit and do my meditation, already have my candle lit and then I will finish my book.

[caressa]

Talked to my spiritual advisor and she told me I had more trouble with my collestoral than I had with my blood pressure. She reminded me that I needed to do a meditation and ask for help and let go and let God. I had pains in my chest a couple of times, but with prayer, breathing, and meditation with a candle, I was let go of the fear and worry. It is so easy when you are caught up in it to realize to forget that you don't need to stay there.