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Post by caressa on Apr 21, 2009 8:24:43 GMT -5
Last night I found myself saying, "I would like one of your cigarettes" to my son. He had run out and was waiting for the guy who get his cigarettes from the reserve to come home and he eventally broke down and bought a pack while waiting because he never got home until after supper. He had been smoking butts all day and he was like a bear with a sore paw. How well I remember those days. Why would I ever want to go back to them? Why think of picking one up when I know that it would kill me faster than any of my other addictions?
This disease is cunning, baffling and powerful.
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Post by Lin on Apr 21, 2009 10:27:26 GMT -5
It's amazing how often we can get back to stinking thinking!
I heard an interesting observation last night...
for people with PTSD...the TRAUMA is not what gets them in a turmoil, it's how they THINK about that trauma. If they keep replaying it over and over in their heads, they will remain miserable. IF they think of it as in the past...nothing they can change....then they can move beyond it much faster.
LIN
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Post by caressa on Apr 21, 2009 12:18:44 GMT -5
Never heard that said. I have been told I have it to a certain degree because of all the abuse and trauma in my early life (being burnt and seeing my brother killed). I am grateful for the program that has allowed me to keep those things in the past and not bring it in to today. Things do happen in today that could take me back into that old behaviour, so I am grateful for the Higher Power in my life that keeps me from going back there. He is the defense I have that give me that moment to make a healthy choice. The freedom of choice doesn't me no good, if it isn't one for my Higher Good.
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Post by Lin on Apr 22, 2009 3:50:37 GMT -5
My husband has PTSD. He has a 100% disability from the govt because of what he witnessed in Viet Nam in the 1960's.
I did not hear this from him and I wont ask him if he agrees. But I coudl understand when my friend said it. I know others who were also in Viet nam. They never talk abotu it...never lose sleep over it...never get worked up over it. They put it behind them and left it there. But from time to time, things seem to triger it in my husband and he goes bananas. When they first Gulf War broke out..scud missles on TV, CNN 24 and 7...he had a very bad episode. For about 2 weeks he watched tv day and night. He barely slept barely ate...never left the house...never dressed...never showered....was in like a depression. He cried alot..he talked about how much that was like Nam...etc. So by living those memories...keeping them in the front of his mind all the time...he really had another traumatic experience. He watches War movies...and sometiems tells how it was like this or that part of teh Marines when he was there.
I've never been raped, but if I had, I dont htink I could sit through a movie abotu rape. I think it woudl bring back the memories and woudl be too painful.
LIN
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Post by caressa on Apr 22, 2009 6:15:02 GMT -5
Thank you for sharing. I have read a lot about War Vets who suffer from it. I worked with a young guy who was diagnosed with it when he came into recovery but he certainly wasn't willing to let it go.
I had a sponsor who use to tape movies she saw on TV about abuse and I asked her how she could watch it. She had been badly burnt in a car accident and suffered an abusive marriage. It was one of the reasons I let her go as a sponsor. For me, it seemed like she didn't want to heal and get better. It was like she gloried in it. If I see anything with abuse on it, I change the channel. Been there done it, wore the T-Shirt, don't want to go there any more.
I had a lot of anger to deal with because I allowed myself to stay in an abusive marriage for seven years. So often the abused becomes the abuser and I had to change a lot of my attitude and thinking, so that I didn't continue on the pattern.
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Post by majestyjo on Dec 6, 2019 23:31:35 GMT -5
It isn't about the drugs and alcohol. It isn't about the pain and hurt I suffered. It is about me in today and my emotional sobriety, recognizing the stinking thinking when it tries to slip into my now instead of staying in my past. Stinking thinking can invade my space and I can become fearful of tomorrow based on what happened in my past. I forget that when I take my God with me, I don't have to go there.
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