Acceptance

[caressa]

How well can I accept any pain I feel today as a part of my own beauty?

Never looked as pain in a positive way. They say, "No pain, no gain," yet never thought of it as an inner beauty, yet we are strengthened and often healed as a result of it.

When I find acceptance, change happens in my life. For me, I can't let my pain affect my relationship with others. I would be a truly nasty type person whose disposition would make me impossible to be around. Mind you this guy use to say to me, "No sense in asking how you are, you are always positive." That isn't true, and yet for me recovery is about changing that negative into a positive.

[caressa]

Love this word, love this post, and it is true. I need acceptance to get through each day. If I don't my pain gets worse and I focus on it, instead of living my life.

When I come on the sites and detach from my pain, I get relief. That is about the site, but my connection to my God and Him leading me to what I need to say, hear, and give thought to.

Acceptance bring me to that center between masculine and feminine, the inner core, and what I call the Higher Self.

I need acceptance to find the harmony and balance within myself and when I have that inner connection, it my purpose to be a channel, share with others what has been given to me, and share what has been gifted to me on my journey.

Accepting of others for the place they are in and accepting myself for who I am in today.

Today's acceptance of the fact that I need an attitude adjustment before I could do my morning posts.

Hope your Sunday is a good one. Accept what is in the moment and know it is subject to change.

[majestyjo]

Found out today, that I didn't have as much acceptance as I thought I had. I guess I was paying lip service, saying it, but deep down, not really having total accepting.

Was hanging on by worrying and not letting go. You can't let go and worry too, that is not accepting and it certainly isn't faith and trust. It sure isn't the spiritual walk that I choose to walk in recovery.

It took some prayer and meditation time, not asking but accepting.

[majestyjo]

When one door closes, another door opens. It's waiting in the hallway that's hell. I am not a slow learner. I am just, sometimes, a slow accepter.

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This really speaks volumes to me. I am aware, that another door opens, sometimes a window and to my way of thinking, it can be a tunnel, an underground passage, whatever it is, it is available if I choose to take it.

I too am not a slow learner but I need to learn to slow things down and give somethings more time to process before I react. I am better than I was, but something that God and I still need to work on. It is a daily thing, some days are better than others.

And as they say, acceptance is the key. Most times for me to find acceptance, it is a process. I quite often have to knaw on it a little bit, before I can come to a decision. Quite often I have to deliberate and ask, "Is this one yours God or mine?" Sometimes I even ask Him to rethink His answer or change His mind and have even been known to try to prove Him wrong.

I know He knows best, yet I firmly believe He leads and guides me. If I am doing His will, how come I got to where I did and then I have to give it some more thought. Generally, it is that I got side tracked, took a wrong turn, misunderstood, or someone else got in the way, and I allowed it and gave up my own power. When that happens, I have to accept my own failings, and surrender and turn them back over to Him again.

When I just accept what is, in the moment, life doesn't get any better than that.

Have looked up just about every article I have posted on acceptance tonight. I think a lot of my stress has been lack of acceptance with what has been going on with my landlord, a lot of promises, but piss poor results if there is any action done. I guess those words show there is also a little bit of anger than needs to be let go of too. Finally I told the head honcho that if things didn't get done, I was going to contact Health Care. More will be revealed, and each day will be a process of accepting what is in the moment. Very much, one day at a time. There is no other way, so why try? Duh!



Posted this on another site, I think I got the quote from here. EoR had been such a major part of my life, my life line.

[majestyjo]

Some more of the same. So glad the story never changes. God doesn't change. The message of recovery, never grows old.

One of the spiritual principles of Step One.

I had to learn to accept the fact that my son had inherited the disease of alcoholism. I am not sure if it is inherited or just the fact that we are often products of our environment. Perhaps a little bit of both, it really doesn't matter how you get it, it is acceptance of the fact that you have it.

I also had to accept my own disease, my caretaking and the need to live my life through other people. I was a Ms. Fix-It, who suffered from her own control, denial, dishonesty, etc. It was always easier to play the blame game, certainly much better than the shame game because I couldn't accept the fact that I didn't have the power to handle life on life's terms, that I found my self-worth through other people because I couldn't find it within myself, and that I had failed to take care of my son and that as a parent I had failed, not knowing that you can't pass on what you don't know.

Acceptance is the key to all of my problems today, when ....

2004

[majestyjo]

It is so difficult to practice acceptance when it comes to my son and his disease. I don't question he has it and his actions, he is a mirror of my old behaviour. I have trouble accepting his decision not to do anything about it and the fact he keeps going back into an abusive relationship.

Trying to accept his choices are difficult. He told me the other day he is better when he is with her than without her, and I know that they love each other as much as they are capable of loving while in active addiction.

I have to accept that the words and the actions are the disease speaking instead of my son. It is difficult.

Thanks for letting me share.

Posted on another site in 2005

Thank God for this program. Thank God it is one day at a time. Not so easy to do as he grow in his addiction and I grow old!

[majestyjo]

Daily Acceptance





"Too much of my life has been spent in dwelling upon the faults of others. This is a most subtle and perverse form of self-satisfaction, which permits us to remain comfortably unaware of our own defects. Too often we are heard to say, `If it weren't for him (or her), how happy I'd be!'"



<< << << >> >> >>



Our very first problem is to accept our present circumstances as they are, ourselves as we are, and the people about us as they are. This is to adopt a realistic humility without which no genuine advance can even begin. Again and again, we shall need to return to that unflattering point of departure. This is an exercise in acceptance that we can profitably practice every day of our lives.



Provided we strenuously avoid turning these realistic surveys of the facts of life into unrealistic alibis for apathy of defeatism, they can be sure foundation upon which increased emotional health and therefore spiritual progress can be built





1. LETTER, 1966

2. GRAPEVINE, MARCH 1962

Accepting what is the moment, knowing it is subject to change. Until I can find the acceptance, I can't move on.

To be continued...

[majestyjo]

It was a real issue when I first came in about accepting my alcoholism. I knew I was an addict, my drug of choice had been more all my life. When I acknowledge that alcohol was part of that "more" and that I had used alcohol along with other substances, I could admit to my disease. It made it easier to accept when I said, "Dis-ease" not comfortable within my own skin and always looking for something outside of myself to make me feel better.



Another acceptance was the amount of damage I did to my body over the years. Acceptance of all the wasted years and space as the song goes. Not sure if my fibromyalgia is a result of the physical or mental abuse, a car accident I had at 17, or a combination. I was told that I had PTSD, but not by a doctor, but by a therapist in later years when I went for sexual assault counselling. Again the acceptance came from the recovery phrase, "I had to go through what I went through to get to where I am in today."



Even in today, fibromyalgia affects so many aspects of my life, I still have to find acceptance on a daily basis.



With my son in active addiction, I have to accept his choices, I don't have to like them. I am as powerless over his disease as I was over my own, prior to coming into recovery and surrendering to the program.



Through the program I learned to accept a Higher Power into my life. I was very angry at my God. I had to make an amend to Him and I had to go on a spiritual journey to find out who God was to me. I had to make God personal. I couldn't accept other people's God, because I felt if I did, I would stop looking for God, then where would I be. I had to find my own God and build a relationship with Him/Her.



There is a lot in my own life, like growing older, swollen feet, sores on my feet that don't want to heal because of my diabetes, my five types of arthritis, and lately, I have this feeling that I have bands around my ankles like prisoners wear. Maybe it means I am a prisoner of my own making or of my own mind.



The program is applicable to all areas of my life, and for that I am so grateful.

Recent posts made on another site.

[majestyjo]

“Defiant individuals will always persecute others, yet will

always consider themselves persecuted.” - - Alfred Adler

Learned long ago, that fighting acceptance only prolongs the agony. Defiance was one of the reasons I kept on using for many years, don't tell me, watch me. That didn't get me too far. Not only do I need to accept my disease, but when I accept the pain that goes along with it, that much faster, the solution appears.

"When you blame others, you give up your power to change."

- - Unknown

In early recovery, I didn't think I had any faults after I quit using. After all, I was raised to be a good Christian girl.



It took me awhile to recognize that to err is human. I didn't want to admit to being human let alone the error. When I heard people say, "Well I am only human you know," I would get a resentment. I felt as though they used the saying as a cop out. They use their humanness to not change.



In today, I tell it as it is. What you see is what you get. As a friend said to me on Messenger the other night, "g/f you are just 2 2 funny. I never know what is going to come out of your mouth next."



Before recovery, it was all about the blame game. It was every one elses fault and the world owed me a favor as I was so hard done by.



Today I embrace change. I don't want to be that person any more. She was not very likeable. She still has a lot of work to do on herself. God and I work on it one day at a time.



Before recovery, I thought I was the best. I thought I was being the best me I could be. I also learned that you can't know what you were never taught. I was very isolated on the farm growing up and didn't have a lot of people skills. I didn't have a best friend until I was 17. When I met her, I was the follower. As my disease progressed, I became the leading authority.



So glad that it is progress not perfection.

[majestyjo]

ACCEPT ME



Accept me as I am I have no guarantee.



A claim to perfection I have not. Perfect I cannot be.



I, like you.....am human. Prone to make mistakes.



Failure is not a character flaw, Just a part of the human makeup.



I live, I laugh and I also learn. My knowledge is incomplete.



I am searching all the time, in waking hours as well as sleep.



I have a long road to travel, as well as you do.



We learn our lessons on the way. Wisdom we shall accrue.



So please accept me as I am Because I am .... Just me.



No one like me in the world. That is my only guarantee.



This is how I feel I have a heart, open it and see

Please take care That's all I am, just me.





--Author Unknown

Acceptance is such a big part of recovery. Accepting our disease, accepting ourselves for where we are in today, accepting our past as a path to where we are in today, and accepting that change is necessary for recovery. If we don't accept, we may stay sober, but to my way of thinking, we will never find true sobriety. I need to accept the program.