Craving/Obssesion

[caressa]

Craving are only triggered with the alcohol is injested. It can occupy the mind and become an obsession so bad that you can think you can taste it, but the actual craving does not start until you swollow it.

For me this was true with other substances, it is the smell of cigarette smoke that often triggers me into wanting to have one. I am grateful that I have the program to deal with these thoughts and that I can make a decision not to pick one up.

I am grateful that the smell of beer makes me sick instead of craving it. The smell of second hand alcohol never did much for me. I had to drink along with my husband to be able to stand to be in the same room with him. Just couldn't stand that smell. It was "If you can't beat him, join him."

The same thing happened when I tried pot and hash. I was so sick, down on all fours with my head in the toilet as a result of the experience. Just because I wanted to belong and be apart of and not wanting to say know because I feared rejection and abandonment. That is one of the reasons I could never live with my alcoholic.

The same with my codependency. If I don't become whole and complete within myself, I am looking for someone else to make me feel happy, pretty, wanted, needed, validated; and I end up looking outside of myself to meet my needs because I can't find them within myself.

Many think of it is a craving they have, but it is the mental obsession of the disease, of all diseases.

I can't crave chocolate unless I choose to pick up a chocolate donut. I can obsess about it, but unless I put on my shoes, walk three blocks to Tim Horton's, it can't hurt me. I can look out my window and see the place, it doesn't trigger my disease, it just feeds my obsession if I allow it. Thank God for a Higher Power.

The 'ism's of my disease can make themselves known in many ways. For me it has been work, volunteering, meetings, computers, food, pills, alcohol, relationships. All the things I looked to fill that emptiness in my soul. I thought I was a sin. Then I found out I was a Soul In Need. When I discovered that, I could turn to the program and my Higher Power to fill that void and return my life to sanity.

My disease no longer filled my whole being. It no longer took up all my hours. Even when I wasn't drinking (using), I was thinking forward to the time I was or could or how I could talk someone into keeping me in the style that I would like to become accustomed. For so many years, I used people, places and things. In today, my Higher Power utilizes people, places and things to show me how to live clean and sober.

[robert]

I haven't had a beer in four days. This is tough. My family is very supportive. I am lucky. But it is tough. those who are not addicts do not understand the craving and obsession. I joined AA 6 years ago and quit. The cycle has returned. I am back.

[dg]

Welcome Robert. Altho I am across the hall but also have lived the world of addictions so I guess its safe for me to say this.
You at least know to stop the cycle by picking yourself up and brushing your self off and get back in the saddle of recovery again. Thats a big step and a good one too.
I think Addicts do undertand the craving and obsession but that they chose to close the door on the reality of it by drinking or using.
Like monkey no see, no hear and no speak thing.
Each day of not drinking is a day longer of being sober.
Take care ~

[caressa]

Congratulations on four days. Each day is a bonus. The normal thing for an alcoholic to do is drink. It is a one day at a time program. You need to quit for you. You need to be willing to do the do things in order to recovery. Hopefully you will be able to go back to AA, get a group, get a sponsor who will help you go through the Steps. There are some posts in the other section on Step One. Perhaps as you read some of the posts, something will click for you and help you find some peace.

One days thoughts, one days actions, one days challenges, one days events, all add up to 24 hours. I wake up in the morning and ask for help and give thanks tonight. I did it when I came into recovery and I still do it now 17 years later.

I went to a morning and evening meeting. I had to fill up the emptiness with other things.

[caressa222]

I wAd told you could obsess about something but you can't actually crave something unless you ingest it in some form.