Bad Timing

[caressa]

Was just sitting here listening to videos and this video by Blue Rodeo came on and thought, that really sums up a lot of my life.

Even in recovery, my timing can be off. Some days I just go with the flow, have a good idea of the time, what is happening and life just flows.

Other times, it is like I hit a wall, don't know what to do, get into those should I, shouldn't I and could I, couldn't I space and I know that I am either late, early, and not where I am suppose to be.

Most of it was because I just reacted and didn't take time to think or look to see if a situation was good or bad. When I am grounded, I seem to have an inner knowing and a conscious awareness. When I am not, I become paralyzed by fear, end up blustering my way through things, and when my fibro is bad, the Fibro Fog just shrouds me and I don' have a clue. A good example and indicator is when I go into the grocery store wander around and don't have a clue as to what I need or want.

In the past, using was a way to give me courage or suppress the feelings. Today I know I just have to pause and connect with my Higher Power.

The Serenity Prayer comes through time and time again.

[caressa]

[majestyjo]

Smiling, how often we get caught in inconvenient moments. How often we try to people please and always wondering about what the other person is going to say.

I use to say to my ex-husband, "You take one foot out to make room for the other one."

When my timing is off it generally means that I didn't say the Serenity Prayer before I left home or jumped out of bed instead of jump starting my day with prayer and meditation.

[majestyjo]

Yes, today seems to be one of those days. Things falling short of my expectations, things not what they appear to be, several people trying to contact me at once.

Thank God for the Serenity Prayer.

[caressa222]

The Serenity Prayer is still working for me in today. It has been extremely helpful dealing with sraff and fellow patients.

It was funny today, a patient was returned to the ward. He saw me and said, We are in the wrong place this is a woman's ward. I am in a ward with three men. So far I have free TV, if it is not and I have to pay for it, that is okay with me. I had planned to order it when Kevib and Joe came to visit to push me downstairs to the office. My son had thoughts of coming and bringing me my mail, but he never got here. Sometimes think of things but don't follow them up with action. I was told it wasn't meant to be and the time wasn't right. Life happens.