Post by dg on Sept 16, 2009 14:31:20 GMT -5
Last night hubby and I watched The Cleaner and it really hit closed to home for me. The topic line was marriage breakng up over an addict and one guy selling his wifes wedding ring.
I am not sure if hubby even remembers this or not.
When he was out using and in the streets our last fight was me telling him I couldn't handle it anymore and threw my wedding ring at him, he picked it up and put it in his pocket and walked out the door.
He refused to give it back to me that night and many days later. By that time he had really hit the streets, and I used to stay up late at night hoping he would walk in the door telling me he was tired of being out there.
During all that time of this, and me hoping he still had my wedding ring, and of course I used to go to the "drug houses" in hopes to find him and hope to even convince him to come home or go to rehab.
I ran into this one lady, who was there for a score and she overheard my conversation to another lady about my wedding ring and she piped up and said I think I know where it is. I showed her the photos of it, ( had it on me for the search of it) and she said " Yep, he sold it to me for a titer of dope" (meth) and I turn around and sold it to the hock shop."Boy I was so crushed and pissed and more. She told me which shop it was and the next day I went to see if I could retrieve it.
Long story short I got it back, yes I had to buy it back from the pawn shop.
But the whole show that I was watching last nite just struck a raw moment in me on how I felt, how low he went, and how I had to go thru it all, and letting it all go and let God handle the rest of my husband's addiction.
After his term in prison we were at the mall and we passed the Jewlery shop and he stopped me and said to me how sorry he was that he sold something that meant to us, our vow, our marriage and the ring. I told him that even tho this ring I had bought back which I could have just let it go, but couldnt' was the only thing that was my glue to a part of him.
He took that ring and we decided to upgrade it and start over with a new wedding set.
With new promises of continuing his clean time and a clean out look on our marriage.
This all happened 7 years ago. Today he is still doing good.
He loves watching this show, The Cleaner as it is a reminder of our bad days and how hard it takes for one to stay clean or for us to keep in mind that its really based on One Day at a Time for life.
As The Cleaner sponser said to the wife, His birthday fo soberity is the same as yours, because you both lived the addiction. His being the addict and you the being addict to him. And that makes sense to me, because Lord I wanted nothing more than to try to fix this man, and couldnt' only to fully understand that it is up to THEM to WANT to make it work and once I let that go.... with the thanks for being here to do this I dont' think I would be as where I am today.
I am not sure if hubby even remembers this or not.
When he was out using and in the streets our last fight was me telling him I couldn't handle it anymore and threw my wedding ring at him, he picked it up and put it in his pocket and walked out the door.
He refused to give it back to me that night and many days later. By that time he had really hit the streets, and I used to stay up late at night hoping he would walk in the door telling me he was tired of being out there.
During all that time of this, and me hoping he still had my wedding ring, and of course I used to go to the "drug houses" in hopes to find him and hope to even convince him to come home or go to rehab.
I ran into this one lady, who was there for a score and she overheard my conversation to another lady about my wedding ring and she piped up and said I think I know where it is. I showed her the photos of it, ( had it on me for the search of it) and she said " Yep, he sold it to me for a titer of dope" (meth) and I turn around and sold it to the hock shop."Boy I was so crushed and pissed and more. She told me which shop it was and the next day I went to see if I could retrieve it.
Long story short I got it back, yes I had to buy it back from the pawn shop.
But the whole show that I was watching last nite just struck a raw moment in me on how I felt, how low he went, and how I had to go thru it all, and letting it all go and let God handle the rest of my husband's addiction.
After his term in prison we were at the mall and we passed the Jewlery shop and he stopped me and said to me how sorry he was that he sold something that meant to us, our vow, our marriage and the ring. I told him that even tho this ring I had bought back which I could have just let it go, but couldnt' was the only thing that was my glue to a part of him.
He took that ring and we decided to upgrade it and start over with a new wedding set.
With new promises of continuing his clean time and a clean out look on our marriage.
This all happened 7 years ago. Today he is still doing good.
He loves watching this show, The Cleaner as it is a reminder of our bad days and how hard it takes for one to stay clean or for us to keep in mind that its really based on One Day at a Time for life.
As The Cleaner sponser said to the wife, His birthday fo soberity is the same as yours, because you both lived the addiction. His being the addict and you the being addict to him. And that makes sense to me, because Lord I wanted nothing more than to try to fix this man, and couldnt' only to fully understand that it is up to THEM to WANT to make it work and once I let that go.... with the thanks for being here to do this I dont' think I would be as where I am today.
~With Peace & Love, dg~ 8*)[/b][/size]
. I will be back looking for Lin and others.