You can choose your friends....

[SunnyGirl]

The younger Sis is home from hospital and rehab and now being
tended to by my Mom (85) and Step Dad (90). She has completely
alienated herself from the older Sister, who will now do nothing at
all to help her. Sis thinks her two older sisters use the same
brain and one can't think without the other. Truth is, we older sisters
do think a lot alike! Younger Sis is all about me me me and used to
getting her own way, I haven't catered to her for a very long time.
Her tactic's of kicking her feet and screaming worked on Mom for
many years but it no longer works for the rest of us.

Eventually my younger Sister will come back to Vegas and live
with her Son (married with a 1 yr. old baby). For the moment she
has no income, takes a year to get disability... I hope and pray that
her moving in will not put a stress on the family as my Sis is not
the easiest person to live with.(to put it nicely).... Right now, she is
still on major pain meds and mood stabilizers and still takes twice
(or more) as much as she should be taking.

Me, I plan on laying low and having as little to do with her as I can.
I love her dearly, but I don't like the person living inside her and am
choosing to stay out of her life.

You can choose your friends but you can't choose your family.....

Peace on the journey, SunnyGirl

[caressa]

There have been times over the years, I chose to detach from my family. When I get feeling of condescention and put downs as the poor relation, along with I am better than you attitudes, you really don't want to be around them. I was at war with myself and thought, "They are family" and "You are the oldest sister, you are responsible." There were years during early recovery that I chose to go to the Area Social Club. The last few years, I have chosen to stay home alone. When you detach often enough, the invitations no longer come. Other than picking up the phone once in a while, there isn't much contact. We use to live miles apart, now I am quite close to one sister and I see less over her now than I did before although we do talk on the phone about once or twice a month.

Ironically, one friend moved to Newmarket and I really missed her. Another friend is moving to London so I will have another space in my life that will need filling up.

Will continue to keep you and your family in my prayers.

[Lin]

I can so relate to your post SG. I have a brother who is a total jerk. I have times I can barely stand to be in teh same room wiht him. I choose to stay in his life jsut enough to maintain contact with his wonderful wife and kids. For years I prayed forhim..hte HP woudl give him what he needs. That' really helped.

And the part abotu me me me? Oh yeah! I know several relatives of mine that fit that description.

I pray for your family!

LIN

[SunnyGirl]

( ( ( ( Caressa and Lin ) ) ) )

Many thanks to both of you for your replys.....

I have concluded that my only option is detaching and letting
go with love.... I have prayed for more understanding and have
asked God to "fix" my broken Sis! I have been hanging on
to some major resentments, concerning her and my brother-in-
law and I have come to the conclusion that it's hurting me more
than it is her. She is doing, what addicts do and while I hate
her actions, the Sis I knew is still there inside her somewhere
and I still love her.

Peace on the journey, SunnyGirl

[caressa]

That is what I had to realize. It was the disease not my son doing the things that cause me so much pain.