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Post by SunnyGirl on Dec 5, 2009 13:37:53 GMT -5
Healthy Ways for a Stress-Free Holiday Season
www.tonyaladipo.com/HealthyIdeasfortheHolidays.pdf
The stress of the holidays can lead people to address it in various ways. Some methods are healthy and productive, others are harmful and destructive. Using, alcohol, drugs, and food to cope with the stress of the holidays is common but unhealthy and potentially dangerous. It can lead to a continuous pattern and possibly turn into an addiction. Rather than take this risk, consider following the suggestions to cope with the stress of the holidays in a healthy way.
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Post by majestyjo on Dec 20, 2014 10:18:41 GMT -5
The link above no longer works. www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-living/stress-management/in-depth/stress/art-20047544 It was important for me to tap into a support system and I went to my local AA Social Club where they put on meetings and had Christmas dinners for people who did not have families. I had dinner with my family then went to be with those who were alone Christmas evening and to help put on a meeting.
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Post by majestyjo on Dec 23, 2014 0:59:35 GMT -5
'All I really need to know (to survive the holidays) I learned at a Twelve Step group'
In the mid-1980s, an essay by Robert Fulghum titled "All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten" became immensely popular. In it, Fulghum suggests that the world would be a better place if adults still adhered to the lessons they learned as children, like playing fair and sharing.
A Twelve Step group is like kindergarten for recovering people--a safe place where they learn basic life truths and rules that help keep them sane and sober. Much of this wisdom comes in the form of slogans or sayings that can resonate far beyond the walls of a recovery group meeting. Like Fulghum's list of lessons, Twelve Step teachings can serve as practical reminders to all of us about how to be and act in the world.
Some Twelve Step insights can be particularly useful as we approach this holiday season--a time often fraught with stress, family tensions, and unmet expectations. For example, slogans like "Easy does it," "Keep it simple sweetheart (KISS)," "Practice an attitude of gratitude," and alliterations like the "Seven Ts: Take time to think the thing through," remind us to slow down, pare down, and pause before we hurry about, driving ourselves (and no doubt those around us) crazy. Instead of getting caught up in the commercialized version of the holidays, try to recapture the meaning and magic of the season. Make a gift. Better yet, be a gift by doing something special for someone. Sing. Dance. Hug. Visit an elderly person. Write letters telling loved ones what you value most about them.
Twelve Step participants are often told, "When you're home by yourself, you're behind enemy lines," or "If you share your pain you cut it in half, if you don't you double it." Others may say, "My head is like a bad neighborhood and I shouldn't go in there alone." They realize the importance of having a healthy and honest support system--especially during the holidays. They know to develop strategies for situations that might jeopardize their recovery. Food addicts might eat a healthy meal before going to a holiday party. Alcoholics might ask an AA buddy to accompany them to a place where liquor will be served. Others may opt out of going to a stressful gathering with a dysfunctional family and choose instead to go to a Twelve Step meeting.
Recovering folks are also cautious about making New Year's resolutions because they can be recipes for disappointment. As one recovering person put it, "For me, resolutions are about willpower, but AA has shown me that I can't control everything. Resolutions set you up for ?if only' thinking. You will yourself to lose weight, for example, thinking that if you do, you will be happy. But I've already spent too many years trying to meet impossible standards of what I thought I was expected to be instead of celebrating and building on who I am."
When we learn not to obsess about a goal but instead celebrate the journey, we can better embrace the Twelve Step philosophy of "progress, not perfection." We recognize that we are imperfect beings who move forward one day, one experience, and even one mistake at a time.
Twelve Steppers are sometimes reminded to "Take the cotton out of your ears and put it in your mouth" or that "Anger is only one letter away from danger"--wise cautions for those of us who might have trouble holding our tongues at a holiday dinner when an irksome relative gets under our skin. Unsettling scenes can often be averted if we embrace another AA saying, "If you can't love everybody today, at least try not to hurt anybody."
Ultimately, happy holidays are about making healthy choices, a truism exemplified in a parable sometimes shared at Twelve Step meetings. A Native American grandfather told his grandchild, "Sometimes I feel as if I have two wolves fighting in my heart. One wolf is vengeful, angry, and violent. The other is loving and compassionate." When the grandchild asked which wolf would win the fight, the wise grandfather replied, "The one I feed."
Holidays can be laden with chaos, anxiety and anger, or they can be opportunities for authentic connections, spiritual reflection, and joy. Which wolf will you feed this holiday season? The choice is yours.
--Published December 11, 2006
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Post by majestyjo on Dec 23, 2014 1:00:33 GMT -5
Top 10 Ways to Cope With Holiday Party Anxiety From Cathleen Henning Fenton,
At this time of year, we may feel obligated to attend many parties. With or without an anxiety disorder, it may be stressful figuring out which ones to attend, what to wear, what to bring, and what to say when we get there. You don't have to do it all! Whether you're mildly stressed or severely anxious, you may learn to cope by taking care of yourself with these suggestions. 1) Don't overbook yourself -- set boundaries You don't have to go to every party. Decide which parties are truly important to you. Often, you may give a lot of yourself by being choosy. You don't need to attend all family get-togethers, for example. Have an excuse prepared for when you say "no." It's OK to stretch the truth a bit. When you put yourself first, you'll have more to give everyone else. More: How to cope with family during the holidays 2) When you do go, set time limits You don't have to be the first to arrive and the last to leave. If people make demands on you, be ready to set limits. If you can't get to your mom's house early to help set up, say so, but bring an extra dish to pass. Always decide in advance when you will leave. If you're relaxed and want to stay longer, you can. If you need to leave, you won't feel badly because you promised yourself you would. Sponsored Links 3) Have a safe place for every party If your anxiety is severe (particularly social anxiety and panic disorder), you need a safe place. If the person having the party knows and understands your anxiety, you may ask if there is a room you may use if you need it. When that's not possible, be imaginative. Make your car a cozy safe place. Knowing that you have a safe place is often enough to make you not ever need to use it. 4) Bring someone who understands If at all possible, bring a friend or family member who knows about your anxiety. To work well in this situation, the person must understand that you need to leave when you say so, and the person should know about your safe place. You don't want to over-rely on this person, but having a "safe" person at the party may make you comfortable enough to enjoy yourself. More: Tips for helping someone with an anxiety disorder 5) Make the event special for yourself Go because you want to go, and then make it a special event. Do what you can to help relax ahead of time -- perhaps a long bath followed by silly dancing to your favorite CD. Wear your favorite clothes. Get ready by candle light with soft music playing. Try to pamper yourself and make the evening (or day) special. 6) Help yourself remember your coping tools If you have a severe anxiety disorder and are recovered enough to go to parties, then you probably already know a number of coping tools, such as relaxation and breathing exercises. Bring index cards to remind you of the steps you need to take. When anxiety sets in, it may be difficult remembering exactly how to do your breathing exercise, and there's nothing wrong with needing a reminder. More: An easy breathing exercise 7) Bring a comfort bag Along with index cards to remind you of your coping tools, you may have other items that are a comfort to you when away from home. Don't hesitate to put together a comfort bag, even if it's something you'll need to leave in your car. There is nothing wrong with needing "safe" items nearby to help you, particularly when you're facing stressful situations. More: How to put together a comfort bag 8) Talk to your therapist If you have time, you will want to discuss your anxieties with your therapist. The suggestions here are general and are meant to help you develop individual coping techniques. Your personal therapist will be able to help you further. It may not be possible to get help on the day of a party, but make it a goal to work on these issues in the future. More: How to talk to your therapist 9) Remember why you're celebrating You're not going to parties because you have to go. You're not going just to give and get gifts. You're going because you want to be with the people you care about. Even office parties are about sharing good cheer with people you see every day. Think about sharing friendship and happiness, and how you fit in to all of it, rather than trying to do what you think everyone else wants you to do. 10) If you can't go, then don't go You can say "no" at any time. People get sick and have emergencies. It's OK if you can't go. You can make it up to people another time, if you feel they'll be hurt. Don't make yourself sick when you realize you're too anxious to go, even at the last minute. The world will not stop. You will be forgiven. BUT, if you don't go, make concrete goals to work on going in the future. You can do it.
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Post by majestyjo on Dec 31, 2016 13:57:17 GMT -5
All the best for the New Year.
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Post by caressa222 on Nov 30, 2019 7:00:36 GMT -5
The best advice I got was not to be alone, go to meetings. Get phone numbers and use them. Communication is so important. Keep close to Your God.
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